I need to stop cutting, please help me?

Question

I started cutting myself freshman year with manicure sisscors. This was at the same time I was diagnosed Bipolar and anorexic and I was eventually sent to a hospital for teh eating disorder. I would drag the sisscors across my arm and punture my skin. I was in treatment for most of sophmore year, but there were incidents, with thumbtacks, inwhich I really screwed up my arm. Always the left one. On NEw Year's Eve this year (junior year) I cut and then went out to party, and although I felt better, my friends and family were upset (as they should be) and I promised never again after the repurcussions. So here I am having just attacked my arm with a razor because my dad told me he is seeing the mother of a girl who hates me and I am thinking of all the promises I have broken. Only my best friend knows because she cleaned me up and I just need a solution to stop because it's never been worth it. Especially now.

Answer 1

1-800-DONT-CUT It's a hotline for cutters.

Answer 2

My answer will come from two perspectives, that of personal experience and that from what I've come to understand through my daughter's experience with 'cutting'. There wasn't a term for 'cutting' when I was a teenager. In fact, it would have been a big surprise to learn of anyone else in the world who had a similar experience as I did that included hurting myself physically at times of intense and overwhelming internal distress. It would have been humiliating to have anyone find out, back then because the stigma of mental illness jeopardized not only the person who suffered but the entire family. You have heard, no doubt, the latest theory which is that it is an action chosen as both a means to establish control and refer unresolved emotional pain to the less agonizing physical pain we can administer ourselves and thus, focus immediately on. We can't really know what the reason is for each individual. My daughter began 'cutting' at age 11 and it persists to a much lesser and notable extent as she approaches 17. Having experienced the 'old world' and 'new world' versions of this behavior I've come to the conclusion that the solution lies in three important goals: 1. staying aware by having dialog with yourself that asks "What am I doing right now? What do I feel about that? How am contributing to what's going on?" 2. learning the very difficult skill of staying with a painful feeling long enough to realize that it's not the feeling that is the problem but the thought we are reacting to that we aren't accepting 3. Strengthening our ability to recognize the difference between being in the present and reacting in the present to what we bring from the past and the future. This is easier done if you consider that it is the situation that has all the control EXCEPT what we think about it and how we react to it. If you have someone who can be straightforward with you when you are being manipulative and also empathetic when you need support, you'll be even that much more successful, but even without it, you have the ability right now to respond differently to what you think about. You might even choose to not think about some things at certain times by learning some other skills, but the bottom line is that you have much more within your capacity to change yourself than anyone else ever will and it begins with absolute honesty with yourself (even when its not flattering) and a commitment to awareness of yourself in the moment. We tend not to change patterns that are comfortable or familiar unless we can clearly see how even the seemingly rotten stuff is giving some kind of reward and that reward we recognize as much less than what is available if we commit to changing it. Be patient and accepting of yourself above all else. Reject only the thoughts that tell you that you cannot succeed. Those are more potholes meant to frighten us away from change. Fear not. You will succeed. Please make sure that you respect yourself by getting good medical advise and eating good food for both your body and your mind. Don't indulge in anything that isn't absolutely on your team and in your best interest. We can go back and re parent the childhood deficits after being in the present and 'response' - able for what we think about and do this very moment.

Answer 3

Well, first of all...I think you could benefit from listening to Eva-Lynne's answer because I read that thinking I should take her advice myself. I really think her answer was quite wise and profound...I might even copy it down somewhere and read over it to remind myself.

My own answer...well I've been struggling with cutting for almost a year now, and I've gotten so far into it these past few months I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm rather lost, because I think somewhere deep inside I really want to do it, and refuse to give it up right now. I don't know how to battle something like that, or if it's even possible to make yourself stop doing something you love like crazy...

But, I would suggest that even though Eva Lynne is right that change essentially comes from YOU, someone to talk to, a counselor who specializes in self-injury or at least undestands it, could be beneficial, even if to just give you ideas and new perspectives on why you're doing these things to yourself (cutting, eating disorder), and how to stop.

Answer 4

When I was having problems at home as a teenager....mostly the problems were being caused by my own parents. It made me a little wacky, understandably.

My school counselor gave me some of the best advice. He told me to make sure I was doing what I needed to do for ME, regardless of what was going on with my parents.
What he meant by that was...if my parents are screwed up, then maybe I might have to step up and take care of some things for myself. Like finding a ride to school, etc.

If it's bad enough at home, maybe you can talk to another relative or friend's family about living with them.

At the same time, you need to get some professional help. You can stop cutting, but it may require in-patient treatment in a facility, trips to a counselor, a 12 step program, or other counseling type sessions.

You may not want to hear this, but there is no easy solutions for your problem. You are using the cutting to distract yourself from some other internal emotional disturbance. Until you deal with that, you will continue to cut yourself.

Talk to a school counselor, pastor, friend, parents, a friend's parent, family...someone who will help you. Don't stop asking for help until you get it! ---Then once you do get some help, make sure to do what is asked of you by the "professional".

You have to do something differently in order to have things be different for yourself.


Don't wait till you are an adult to get your life together. That's what I did. It's much harder as an adult. Take the time to get your life together now before you have the responsibility of family, work, and home.
Now, however, that I have gotten help, I no longer let my screwed up family affect me anymore. They can be f***ed up all they want to be, but I can take care of myself and do what's right for me.


Now, go and get some help.

Answer 5

I was depressive back in my early to mid 20's and used to cut myself with a steak knife. It definitely wasn't as severe as what you are going through, but I remember the stress build-up in my brain and the lack of control I felt and the depression and the cutting definitely seemed to relieve it. Almost like instead of concentrating on the mental pain in my head, I could concentrate on the pain on my left arm. I haven't cut in over 10 years now. Honestly, when the depression went away, the cutting went away...I just didn't have the stress anymore. I also got out of a really bad situation I had at the time (bad first marriage). Unfortunately, doesn't seem like you can leave home just yet. Take care of yourself and get whatever help you can for your mental issues - whether it be counseling, medications, etc. I think doing that will have a direct effect on the reduction of your cutting. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Your right it's not worht it and I am so glad you realize that. For some reason it seems that the most common times for cutting are in highschool. I think it's just because it IS such a stressful and confussing time. Most adults think it is the best time of your life however I beg to differ. While growing up I did alot of cutting and did seek proffesional help. Just like Anorexia I was told that it goes back to needing to know you control your life. You have something that you and just you are in control of. I had alot of issues growing up but the important thing is you have to deal with htose issues in a reasonable way and cuttig is not dealing with it in a reasonable way. I am very proud of you for realizing all the promises you have broken to other people but thinking about that probably makes you want to cut yourself more. Instead think about the promises you have broken to yourself. Try finding an outlet, other than cutting yourself....not to catagorize buy most cutters are extremly passionate....try writting your feelings down into a poem or short story format and keep yourself occupied. Also please please seek proffesional help. I am suprised your parents haven't made that an option for you. However if you bring it up, I am sure they will support it. Good Luck!

Answer 7

1. It is unhealthy and will lead to bad health ( blood counts of red blood cells )

2. You emotionally and physically get hurt each time.

3. You accomplish nothing out of it, and it makes your problems worse.

4. Promise yourself to never do it again.

5. Eliminate the reason thats causing you to do it.

6. Get new activities because it seems you have too much time on your hands.

7.Enjoy the beautiful world the way it is.

8. Obsiously in our religious beliefs of ISLAM it is a huge sin to harm yourself this way.

9. YOu know you weren't born with cuts, so why are you adding cuts, why would you wan't to harm yourself, just gives you pain, and you really wa't to have pleasure and be good and have a great life.

10. Eat healthy and live a healthy life.

Answer 8

you need to seek mental health care - get back into that hospital -
however, the treatment won't ever work for you until you are willing to give up cutting as a lifestyle - and from the fact that you posted this question on here (for attention/for help - not judging - i understand) you don't seem ready to give cutting up.

you still need to go back to that hospital, because it is unfair for you to subject your friends and family to the pain that you are making them feel. they don't know how to handle you - the hospital does. go back, and work on trying to find that moment when you're just going to quit.

you need to hit rock bottom before you get up again, and you might think that you've hit it ten times before you actually have, but that's all that's going to work.

even though it sounds cheesy - in order to change, YOU have to want to change. no one else can do it for you.

Answer 9

ok, this is really stupid what i did...but i got a punching bag and i just punch the **** out of that instead...it actually worked for me; i stopped cutting. but i guess it can still be a form of "self-hurt" b/c every time i hurt my knuckles just a little bit more, i felt a little bit better....but i still think it's better than cutting....my point is that you cannot just stop cutting. find some other way to get your pain and aggression out...punch ****, scream, write, play music, whatever....gosh, have someone tie your arms behind your back if you have to....well, good luck!

Answer 10

Have you seen a psychiatrist? There are many support groups out there - If you send me an email I can give you a name of an online support group specific to cutting.