I've been seeing this guy for over six months. Hes almost thirty, and I'm in my very early 20's. We've been spending time together, and he tells me hes crazy about me, but that hes not ready for a relationship. Over a year ago, he was in a six year relationship, in which the girl apparently had issues (with depression), cheated on him sometimes, and eventually left him abruptly. I like him so much, but hes so bitter with life... I just want to know whether its possible that he's genuinely scared, or am I not ever going to be the girl he wants a relationship with? I really feel that he still has feelings for that girl. I told him maybe we should just be friends, but now i'm just really sad. What should I say to him to find out whether he really wants to be with me?
2007-02-04 01:59:13 · 8 answers · asked by Sunflower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's probably not ready. That's some baggage he's carrying. This isn't something you are going to want to hear, but think about it this way. Do you want to be with someone who is so bitter because of his ex? He's going to end up comparing you to her. He has to fully let his ex go if he is to have anything meaningful with you. And, for six years of this, six months isn't that long for some people. It takes some people even longer. And, there isn't much else you can do except be there for him and with him. If he's told you repeatedly that he's not ready for a relationship, there's not much else you can do to convince him otherwise. But, he's probably doing you a favor even if you can't see that now.
2007-02-04 02:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Groovy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to be with someone that does not have a strong of feeling for you, as you do for them? It's hard but it is best for you to concentrate on finding someone who is crazy about you. Sounds like this guy is not ready for a relationship because he is still thinking about his old girlfriend or is not convince you are the right girl for him. At least he is not leading you on. You should look for a guy that appreciates you more than this guy does. You deserve better.
2007-02-04 02:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by BR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. Right now hes broken and he needs to know that he can heal before he gets into another relationship. He won't trust you at all if you try to force the issue right now. just be a friend and a shoulder and a pair of ears but don't stop your life for him. he needs to know that you will not be at his beck and call which might help him decide if you are the next one for him. Him realizing that you could get away might help him along a little faster...
2007-02-04 02:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given his past he sounds like a train wreck. He needs time to heel and you may only be a rebound girl until he has healed.
2007-02-04 02:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Ben R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are fairly decisive when it comes to relationships.
If he had wanted you as a girlfriend and not just some lay, then he would have done that. He is stringing you along. Dump him!
2007-02-04 02:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he's really scared to get involved in a relationship. Ask him if he'd ever get serious with you.
2007-02-04 02:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a guy just like that, he didn't want to go into another relationship but just forgot about him and r happy with the guy im dating now.
2007-02-04 02:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you found me and i want to be your new man I have no issues
2007-02-04 02:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by hop on lets ride 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋