2007-02-04 00:30:03 · 38 answers · asked by Marianne not Ginger™ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Taking this question literally, I would rather someone Tell me. This can confirm what I may have learned by paying attention to their other words and actions. By Telling me, I know that that this emotion (Love) is at least in their conscious mind. That they Know or are Aware of how they feel.
This removes all doubt about what they might feel but even hide from themself. People almost always show how they feel even if they cannot express this feeling in words. If they say it I hope that they mean it and understands what this means.
On the other-hand, I usually have a hard time telling someone else: "I Love You." First, perhaps from the realization that rejection is a possible reply. This usually means that I did not clearly Show the other person how I felt before I said the words.
Second, they can always misunderstand my intentions. Often "I Love You" is used by others to communicate a sexual attraction, not an emotion.
Lastly, I can be very subtle in the expression of Love through thoughts, words and deeds. But saying "I Love You" is hitting them over the head with an emotional baseball bat. It is not subtle (but sometimes needs to be said or written anyway).
As for other people: I advise that they Tell anyone "I Love You" only if they feel it strongly and clearly. That they say it only when the other person needs to hear it and that they back it up with good intentions and proper actions to make sure they get the point across.
2007-02-04 12:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by Richard 7 · 21⤊ 1⤋
Talk is cheap but important in stating things. Actions, like good treatment, honesty, integrity, accountability, dependability, trustworthyness, and following the plan of life a in a dignified and Godly way is more important than anything else. Being a team player and a good partner is the goal in marriage and family. Sharing the successes and the failures. Expensive gifts or buying love does not work, it is OK to give each other gifts but should not be a benchmark of love or a condition. You should not feel like you owe them anything. But should put your 100%, or the other half into the relationship with your own actions and participation.
If someone says "if you love me you will do this, and that, etc." Run to the next state from that one.
2007-02-04 00:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Richard's got an excellent point. If you really love someone, it really is a difficult thing to hide with your actions... whether or not the recipient is aware of these expressions of said love. It would be the words which are necessary to confirm what would be suspected. So to never use them, just may keep that love a mystery.
However....
Just to hear those words without ever FEELING the confirmation of them by mannerisms, emotion, gesture, caress... embrace... kiss... locked in eye contact... escaping to that dimension where only the 2 of you exist.... leaving the rest of the world ignorant of what it really is supposed to be like there.... what words could ever be said to compliment THAT???
Where would YOU rather be?
2007-02-04 23:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Antny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my wife and I were dating, we always said there would be 'little things and quiet' that were our alphabet of love. Little unasked-for considerations that did not need to be shouted off balconies, but which, nevertheless, would always be noticed, and meant, between us. There always have been, adn there always will be. The 'little things and quiet' are more important to me than any words could be, even the powerful words "I love you" - which, it has to be admitted, we also use several times a day. Words can quickly lose their value (though they needn't, if they're backed with honest appreciation and emotion), and I know from my previous relationship that the words "I love you" can be used to mean many things - "Let's not fight", or "Are you OK?" or "Don't go". Both words and actions can grow to ash and staleness and resentment if the emotion behind them dies. But I think in our so highly vocal world, that words can lose their meaning first and more completely, so I'll always take show over tell in the garden of love.
2007-02-05 08:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by mdfalco71 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need a combination of the two really. Sometimes it's important to say it, simply because that's all you can do at that very moment. Showing love is an ongoing process and if you don't say it now and again, how do you know if the person you are just "showing" love to also really needs to hear it? So that's why I think going for the combo thing is best. Say it, show it, and there will be know doubt in their mind that you love them.
2007-02-04 00:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by gotalife 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna have to go with show. It is nice to hear it every once in a while, but the situation I'm in right now is that I feel it, but am scared to death that once I say it I'll get hurt or do something to mess it up. (Yeah, ok, so I've been burned before, and this guy is NOTHING like the last guy, but I'm still treading some rough soil...)
2007-02-04 00:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by Cheyenne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have got to have both! Words are cheap w/o actions to back them up. However, the actions alone sometimes don't let the other person know how deep the love is unless, or until it is expressed in words. i am dating a woman who i wish would tell me she loves me more often. But, when she does say the words, i melt!
2007-02-04 00:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by striker 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Both really.
Showing that special person your love can be done in so many different ways. Doing little things that give them pleasure.
But when he looks into your eyes and says the words....well I simply melt.
2007-02-04 10:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell me as Words speak louder than action when it comes to Love and emotions.Because if you hear it then it will be in your heart if someone buys it with only gift then material things can be taken away so quickly.
2007-02-04 00:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well action speak louder than words so I would go for the show first and then tell!! You need to hear it as well as see it to believe it!! That will prove if he truly loves you....
2007-02-04 00:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by singirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋