my bf is encountering problems with his family. we have different nationality & he's having different culture & beliefs. his family issue is kinda serious & it's affecting our relationship coz he's always grumpy & rude coz he always fights with dem. btw, his family is staying in his country, we r both working & living in another country. the things is, his father & bro wants him to return back to der country & marry sumone but he doesn't want to do dat. he is right now into situation like he's standing on tip of a knife. if he choose me he has to leave his family, if he choose dem he will lose me...but he really wants to get things ok but his society from wer he belongs to is not the same like me. ilove him so much & he loves me too but right now we r limited in our actions. i just hope things will be better soon...i can't stay away from him tho he's telling me to give ignore him for sumtime coz his mind is totally wrecked at d moment. wat to do? :-(
2007-02-04 00:28:20 · 14 answers · asked by an_angel_in_d_sky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him time to think. Based on your statement, it is a very serious problem. In a relationship, you encounter this type of problem, when one has to decide among two things: to uphold the duties for the family or fight for love. It is factual that we can't choose both. Also, you should have a heart-to-heart talk with your bf about it. An open communication with him should help you both work out with that problem. Try talking about what's possible and maybe things will work out. About his mood, understand him a little bit. He is really pressured with that kind of situation. And what the hell is a freakin' arranged marriage doing there!? His parents are dead wrong about it. They shouldn't be forcing their son to like someone he is not interested with. It would be very advisable to give him some encouragement. If he's not really happy about this arranged marriage stuff, then help him with it. He now has the power to look after himself. He now has the freedom to choose whatever he wants with his life. His love for you should not be hindered by the constraints of rules. Sometimes we have to break the rules. Do not regret anything that you have done with your life because regretting what you've done is the same as sorry for being real. Remember, things will always work out if you would just do whatever you want without worrying about the consequences. I hope this answer will resolve the conflict.
2007-02-04 01:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by Itachi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space to figure out what he needs to do. He's already being pressured from his family, the last thing he needs is pressure from you as well. Also be prepared, depending on how important his family is to him, he may chose them. I understand that may be hard, but if you really love this man and really want the best for him then be happy for him no matter what happens. You in turn will be rewarded in due time. Best of luck.
2007-02-04 00:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Mela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear you should just give him his think time and if he chooses his family then that's, that its gonna be hard to move on but you always go and visit him over wheres he at..if he picks you then your gonna have a BUNCH of his family fighting and saying "oh you should have married that girl" either way its his choice so just wait for the best.
2007-02-04 00:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by Pookie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do. Its up to him. He needs to stand up to his family and tell them that you are the person he wants to be with. His family needs to accept that and respect his wishes. If they can't then he needs to make some hard decsions about where he wants to be, with the person he loves or with his family. In the end he'll end up resenting his family for putting him under that kind of pressure. I hope things work out for you.
2007-02-04 00:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your bf is right in the middle of two things where he loses one either way..
Give him some time to figure things out, and if he had not loved you, things wouldn't have worked out in the first place..
So wait a little bit and just trust him with his decision.
2007-02-04 00:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by Andy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the future is on his hands n not on his family,he's of course got his right to choose his future.as far as love is concerned,both of u marry asap without his parents' objection,they can't say anything if u got ur offspring one day.4 the time being just ask him to stay with u in ur country until u marry him.
2007-02-04 00:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to follow his hearts desire. When a man marries he leaves his family to be with his wife. Talk to him in a nice way. Don't let him choose right now, now that he is in a confused state. And pray that he will be enlightened.
2007-02-04 00:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by mared 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that he talk to his family and tell them that your are his future and he is happy being with your and only you.
He should tell his family that he will come and visit them but you are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and he will not be happy with no one else.
If they doesnt understand ou gys stay together anyway they are family and will forgive him in the future, but if he dosent stay with u then they will be no coming back.
2007-02-04 00:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by RICKY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems quite speedy to go on into yet another courting. in case you sense you're waiting for that, i could only be advantageous. Smile at human beings, refer to them as pals first, then permit it flow up into some thing else. furnish to purchase them a drink or some thing, initiate a verbal substitute. many of the time, you will discover that only smiling and with the marvelous physique language, you additionally could make human beings sense welcome to speak to you.
2016-09-28 09:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stand by him & if he truly loves you he will choose you above all others.
It will be hard to go against his family but I believe everyone makes that choice in life.
We have to do what will make us happy and what is in our best interest in life.
We as adults can't let our parents tell us who to love or be with.
2007-02-04 00:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋