how is it possible for a person's own mother to be completely oblivious that they are suicidal?

Question

I am going insane I've tried to tell her so many times that i am at a really low point and struggling with thoughts of suicde and she just never hears, she is so caught up in herself that she doesn't even notice the signs, when i try to tell her directly she can't stop for 5 seconds and hear me. How is it possible for my own mother to not even know? Just so you know, i am not in crisis at the moment i'm not going to do anything right now and i am seeking professional help, i still have thoughts but right now i am safe, just extremely frustrated that no matter how hard i try i can't seem to get anyone to hear me or take me seriously. What should i do?

actually Bryan, most people that are suicidai cry out for help before killing themselves, they only kill themselves after trying desperately for someone to hear them. people generally don't want to kill themselves but feel they have no other choice because no one will hear their pain just a point i thought you should know. why do i think i'm asking for help now!

Answer 1

Perhaps she thinks that if she ignores you then you won't go through with whatever you're contemplating. A kind of indirect love?

Answer 2

Well i would say that you are doing the right thing, your seeking professional help, and they do take you serious. Now for your mother, she could have a disorder, that you do not know she has, or she might just be in denial, a lot of parents do not want to think that their child can have a serious problem like that, or do they want any one to know. She may think it was her fault some how, or she might think you are looking for more attention, which it sounds like she don't give you anyway. I do hear you , and it is becoming a big problem that people are not listening nor do they want to get involved, or admit that . So you might have your therapist have her come in and tell her, that this is not something that she shouldn't be taking serious, and maybe she will finally open her eyes and see that you are hitting low points, and having trouble with suicide thoughts, and it is serious, and take you a lot more serious then she has been, cause she really needs her eyes open to this.

Answer 3

Hi, i'm glad you are getting help now.

I know exactly what you are talking about..... i have been in the same place as you and i went from the whole suicidal thing being a big secret to me mentioning it to my mum and bf almost every day. They didn't say much to me either!

I think the difference is that when you are suicidal, you have a depressed mind. The people you are telling do not have depressed minds, and therefore cannot comprehend why anyone would think this way - that makes them think that yeah ok you are upset, but you wouldn't do something like that.

See what i mean?

I hope you continue to get help and i hope you manage to get better and live a happy life without these horrible feelings and thoughts. Good luck.x

Answer 4

Hi.

Fist off, I'm glad you're seeking help and are not feeling so suicidal at the moment. I hope things continue to improve for you. Know, too, that I hear you and take you seriously, and I'm sure many other people do too.

I think you need to consider the possibility that your mother is absolutely terrified of what you're trying to tell her. My guess is she has no idea of how to deal with it, how to help, what the 'right' and 'wrong' responses are, so she's burying her head in the sand. The fact that you've said she 'can't stop for 5 seconds' makes me picture her being busy, getting even busier, just so she can avoid having to hear you, because if she hears you and admits what you're saying is true then she'll have to deal with it, and she has no idea of how to do this.

I hope this helps, and best wishes.

Answer 5

Talk to a school counsellor or a Physician or even call a Suicide Hotline even if you don't feel suicidal. They will have a list of resources and support groups in your age group overseen by an adult so you can know you are not alone in this.

As for your mother, if I told you now, it's too much information too soon. You will understand better when you become a grown up and see other grown ups who have children and the different ways they treat their children. Your mom is not unusual in this, it has happened to other children and it has nothing to do with you. Think of it this way, she has already given you all that she can give you. When you grow up you may find it's a lot more than you think.

Answer 6

Since october last year you have been asking so many questions that involve self harm over and over again. You have also asked a lot of questions about caring for people with borderline personality disorder.
I would think that you are in a very difficult situation caring for a person that is suffering a mental illness while you yourself have a mental illness. This is not a healthy situation for you. Something is going to need to change about this. You can't help someone while you yourself need so much help.
You are carrying the burden of trying to become healthy yourself while trying to make someone else healthy too.
As I don't know because you don't say what state your mother is in generally I can only assure you that yes some mothers really can be obliious to their childrens needs. In which case you need to stop trying to get any sort of parenting off her as she is not willing or able to give it. You need to learn to parent youself.
Talk to your therapist about this.

Answer 7

Maybe your mum does hear you but is too scared to listen. I think you should just persiver with the help your getting but if it isn't helping maybe you haven't found the right person to help you. Write down what you want to tell your mum so she can read it as many times as she wants and she can let the info sink in. I would also like to tell that idiot Bryan that you are not attension seeking and he obviously doesn't understand your problem and shouldn't bother leaving hurtful comments when help is all that is needed. I really hope you sort this out ! Good luck and stay safe.

Answer 8

Is there anyone else you can talk to mate? I know what you're going through I went through hell for 8 years from 13 years onwards with suicidal thoughts and intentions and i've heard all of the attention seeking comments before which I always shrugged off. People who generally say that are just frustrated and have no clue so please ignore them. It disgusts me how some parents neglect their kids emotionally and offer no guidance then question why they are having problems. It's like they're completely oblivious to it all.
The way I got through it all was difficult and I was very resistant to anything anyone offered. People don't generally listen and don't feel like you're alone. People are selfish and unless they can benefit from something then you're really left on your own. This is a scarey thought and realising i'm left on my own was the hardest part of growing up but I got through it. It's different for everyone and there's no single answer on how to feel better or how to get people to listen to you because at the end of the day you're stuck with yourself and people sometimes just aren't there. I suggest you talk to your therapist about it as he/she can offer more advice than i can. I really have no idea how I pulled myself out of everything and from what you are saying about people not listening and only throwing in ignorant or nasty comments i'm very familiar with. So I wish you well.


# Attention seekers are people who scratch themselves with a bit of paper and make a melodrama about how they tried to kill themselves. This person is not an attention seeker so everyone who is saying "get a life" and "stop seeking attention" why don't you crawl into your little hole and shut it.

Answer 9

It's good that you're looking for help. You can try turning to some other people beside a professional (while seeing a profesional of course..), someone from 'everyday life'. The problem with your mother is that she might be in denial, couldn't deal with you having a problem. That would really make her weak and not someone you've maybe looked up to....

Best wishes!

Answer 10

I know exactly how you feel because
a)I have attempted suicide twice and my mother does not even know that fact; and
b)My father knows about my previous suicide attempts yet he still talks to me/treats me like crap
I dont know why some people who are suppose to care just dont and why some people who can see crys out for help and dont respond to them.You need to know though no matter how much it seems no one will listen or care, there is always someone out there that will.My whole life all ive wanted is to be taken seriously and the ones that are suppose to love me where the ones who never did
Good luck

Answer 11

I guess the only way to tell her is to get her to really pay attention i think some parents really do know things are wrong but they dont want to confront it my mom has found drugs in my room and hasnt said a word about it until she tries to use it against me (as if i didnt knwo they were gone).Ive been through depression had problems with eating and just basiclly letting evrything in my life fall to **** because i didnt know what to do because i felt i had no one to talk to . If your actually making an effort to talk to your mom about it thats great its something i dont like to admit to people i know but i can tell any stranger because i wont ever see or hear from them again.Now i think the way to confront your mom would be to sit here down tell her its important that you NEED to tell/talk to her abotu something or tell someone else if shes caught up in herself as bad as it sounds then let someone else know call someone a therapist or doctor someone to help you .If your willing to make a change and try to overcome this then you definatly deserve to be happy some people dont and they waste their time .Try it you can talk to me anytime on yahoo messenger:ukwildrock081292 AIM:xUnderthebullet or email me at [e-mail]


Hope this helps

Katie