Please help. I need advice on family and interracial dating?

Question

I am a college sr and I grad. in May. I am white, 22yr old male. I grew up an army kid (until 10) and I was always around tons of different people & different cultures although it was NEVER SEEN AS A BAD "DIFFERENT." Anyways, I want to date interracially, but my parents don't agree with it. They aren't really racist, they just think that white m and white f should only date each other, latin m & latin f should, etc (Everyone with thier own race). I TOTALLY DISAGREE because I am not attracted by color nor do I stop liking someone/being attracted to someone because she just happens to be of another skin tone. I am heavily attracted to black and latin girls,white girls really don't do much for me. My mom says she don't care really. My dad is total opposite. He comments on people negatively who do & we have had arguments about it in the past. The thing is, I still live with them until May, but I wanna start now. What should I do? Go ahead with my heart or wait a few more months? I'm torn

Answer 1

You know that saying, You marry the ones you date. I don't know how true that is, but think of it this way, dating is a time to search out and look for your future mate, wife and mother for your children. Dating is fun, exciting, and sometimes wild. But, when you do find your true love ask yourself this; is this the woman I want to share my entire life together & have my children? I believe your parents are wise, they know what different racial marriage can bring. It's the different culturals, religions and when you have children they are the ones that suffer.

Answer 2

Since you don't even have a girlfriend or someone specific you might be interested in right now, it sounds to me like you're just trying to confront your parents on their admittedly bigoted views at any cost. As it's only a matter of a couple of months before you live on your own, I'd say wait till May, move out, and live your life as you see fit. If at some point in the future, you should actually be in a relationship with a member of another race, that will be the time to make your stand and demand that your parents treat your chosen partner with respect.

Answer 3

I really hate to say this, but you only have one set of parents, boyfriends are replaceable. When you get older, you really want to look back and have happy memories. My girlfriend argued with her dad once and it led him to have a heart attack. It scared her, me as well. I've learned from that point to try to make my parents life easier while I was living under their roof. So I hardly had a social life, actually, was kind of embarrassed to have one. Once I moved out I did as I pleased. A few years ago, I had to move back with my parents - and again, out of respect for them, I followed their 'rules' which seemed to be the same as when I was in high school. I think I would want my kids to respect my house and rules as well - it's awful waiting for your child to come home from a date. Keep 'em happy honey while your there - it'll make it your life easier and with good memories. Besides, May is just around the corner and I'm sure your guy will work with you.
Oh yeah, congrats with completeing college - not many are able to accomplish this!!!

Answer 4

Wait would be my advice, and dont take this person to meet your family right away. But you need to tell them very early on that your father is what he is. My son is white, and has a black wife. I are from KY. He was grew up while I was in the Air Force. I would say follow your own heart. Your Dad will probably come around.

Answer 5

It's nice that you want to respect your parents. Keep in mind though that you are an adult and therefore you can chose to date whom ever you wish.
If there is a particular woman you'd like to see may I suggest that you protect her from your fathers racially driven remarks by waiting for introductions until after you've moved out on your own. That way if you are visiting and he gets ugly then the two of you can cut your visit short. You wont have to return until you are ready because you wont be living there.

Answer 6

Always go with your heart. Your parents should accept who ever you chose. It is up to you. Not them.
People get married interracially all the time. People who are japanese-american are usually gorgeous.
It does not matter who you chose as long as you are happy.

Answer 7

it is your life.. so do it.. the other person might be facing the same problems in their family also. so if you date, keep in mind they are human also, race does not matter anymore.. this is 2007 not 1855

Answer 8

you are an adult. do what you want to do. i think it's great that you feel that way, and it sucks that your parents don't feel the same. go with your heart.

Answer 9

if you wait until may then what are you going to do? ignore him, don't see him anymore? what? go with your heart. whose happiness are you more concerned about?