My son is 2 months old and the father and I are not together. He is 26 years old. There is a mutual desire not to be in a relationship with each other. He is Hispanic and lives with his family and I think they have nasty habits (house not clean, pets everywhere, dirty floor, a lot of children, etc.) I am wondering at what age should I let my son go over his house without me?
2007-02-03 20:40:21 · 23 answers · asked by Jade 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
hahahaha.. i know what that's like (the one about family having nasty habits.. not like MY family is perfect.. but damn..)
Anyway, that's a hard one. How would his family react if you DON'T allow your baby to go there? If you don't care about the conflict, if any, I'd say just let him be with his dad and his dirty family...hahahaha.. nah, just kidding!
2007-02-03 20:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by mommy.luv.jordyn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SAK is right in all accounts! The baby is WAY too young to be in a strange environment without his mother!! Anyway, the bio-father's mother and kids would be the ones watching and interacting with your baby!!! If the father is sincerely wanting to be with his baby, let him do it with someone sanctioned by you! Then, only an hour or so!! And NOT around HIS family! It's probably his mother that insists upon the baby coming over so she can "raise" him. Let the child get to know this guy WAY before you let him take him!! Much older and IF the father faithfully VISITS and they get to really KNOW each other and both you and your son TRUST this man, and if the boy wants to go with him. Just because the guy is the sperm-donor, that doesn't mean he's your baby's "father" and gives him the right to access. I'd definitely go to court and get LEGAL perimeters to keep your baby SAFE! My daughter allowed her x to take my Grandson to Israel by himself--at 2 and 4 yrs old! He came back a very depressed child and it took holding him at 4 and talking about the experience with him and letting him cry it all out!!!
2007-02-04 04:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it is very important to encourage your baby's father to be a part of his child's life, They BOTH have a right to a relationship with each other. If you have concerns about him taking the baby to his home perhaps suggest that until the baby is bigger that he come visit the baby at your home or meet at the park or another neutral place and allow them to have time together.
Please keep in mind that although your romantic relationship is over, you will always have a relationship as parents to this beautiful child you have both created. It is important that you try to get along with each other for your son's sake. Believe me it will become easier in time to do this.
Ultimately you must do what is in your son's best interest. His fathers home may not be up to the standard that you desire, however this does not mean that he wont take care of his child.
I would allow him unsupervised access to his child from the time he is walking, or you stop nursing the baby.
I'd also suggest that you talk to your son's Dad about your concerns. If he is a reasonable man he will pick up his game so that he can spend more time with his son and build a good relationship with him.
2007-02-03 21:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by Lorie McMillan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies need to develop a sense of security and stability. They do this in their first six months. Breaking routines can be stressful and confusing to an infant. Most pediatricians agree that a baby should not sleep anywhere but their own beds for the first six months. Gather info from any and all resources possible and get a court order establishing visitation. Without court documents the child remains in the custody of the one who has possession of the child. You can also ask for a home inspection if you're concerned. If his name is not on the birth certificate he has NO RIGHTS. For now do not let your precious angel out of your sight.
2007-02-11 16:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go over whenever the father wants to see him - he is 2 months old and he wont be walking around or getting into anything at this point. You are pretty much going to have to just deal w the fact that his family is not as neat as you would like, might as well start getting used to it while the baby is still non mobile!
2007-02-04 00:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would request of you to please seek legal advice on this one. However, your son is way too young to be without you in that household. I would guess the youngest would be 3 yrs old. And even then, without you, to please have someone (mutual friend?) go with to supervise for awhile. And, one thing that needs to be done is the house needs to be cleaned up, and kept clean. Children's Protective Services in your area can help if there is a problem with that house being kept clean. Pets can be really good for children, however, the floors should be kept clean, dishes done, bathroom clean, clutter picked up, etc. Wishing you the best. Take care.
2007-02-03 20:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should set up a time and place to meet to go somewhere and hang out. i dont think you should let your child go over there until he makes the decision he wants to go. Tell the father your son can not got there because of health reasons (dont say it rude though) Tell him if he gets his own home and can keep it clean, then he can see his son. Otherwise your son has a chance of getting seriously ill or not being clean and takin care of properly.
2007-02-11 06:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the young kids in the house treated well? Are they safe? (I'm not talking about germs on the sofa; I'm talking about being safe from real harm.) Is your child's dad responsible (i.e. not an alcoholic who drives drunk, etc.)? If yes, then let the kiddo go.
The easier you make it for the dad to have access to his son, the more likely it is he will maintain a reliable and strong relationship with him. And that will be best for your son.
2007-02-11 15:18:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rienzi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the baby´s physical or mental health is not endangered. You wouln´t even ask this question if we were talking about day care services instead of his family´s house. A dirty environment is not a place for a baby. Or a grown up anyway.
2007-02-09 16:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
truthfully, i wouldnt let ur son go..and it is kinda to early to be thinking of that. the family the dad lives with doesnt seem very nice and the house isnt clean...that is a huge hazzard the the child.
2007-02-10 07:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by cute_shorty_878 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋