I am Christian for real. I have a very deeply ingrained problem. Please give me a christian answer.?

Question

I am single and not married. I am a virgin. I do like women. I am not perfect. I have masturbated for years and looked at pornography. Also I was molested by a male when I was 7 years old. My father and mother were emotionally unstable and unavailabe and they verbally abused me. I unsuprisingly was unpopular in school and was poorly socialized. Even though I have alway been fascinated by girls i started having very strong same sex feelings a puberty. I got delivered when I was in college now I am trying to get a girlfriend. I do pray and read the word and trust God. I still have these homoerotic nocturnal emissions when I go for several weeks without masturbating that scare me back into doing it. I am 32. Is my life a waste? Will 1 wonderful woman ever love me and give herself to me? Please be kind

Answer 1

You sound like a good guy who is trying to live a good life. Don't be so hard on yourself. I didn't have a great upbringing either. My Mom was bipolar and my Dad was very emotionally distant but he didn't mind beating me when he got the urge. These things have actually made me a stronger person. You are a Christian so keep your faith and keep in His word. Ask for God's will to be done in your life. I finally found a wonderful woman after 2 failed divorces(my self esteem was in the gutter). It will happen for you in His time. Get involved in your church and in the singles ministry. Just be patient. God knows the right time for you.

Answer 2

I agree. Therapy is critical. I was also molested as a child and have had inappropriate sexual fantasies and encounters all my life.

As a Christian, keep in mind that Satan plants those thoughts there to see what you're going to do with them. As long as you don't feed into them, you're alright.

He's also trying to keep you enlaved to masturbation and porn. Stay tough and deal with what happens. Eventually, it will stop. "If you resist him, he will flee."

Your life is not a waste. I truly believe you can find someone if God has not set you aside to be single. Use your singleness to serve God. When you're married, you are more limited in some ways.

Also, you may be having a hard time meeting someone because of a vibe you're giving off. Women don't want a needy guy. The want someone who is strong and confident. This is where therapy can also be of great help.

Answer 3

I don't know if you have accessed therapy, but I have a feeling that your homo-erotic issues may stem from your history of abuse. I have a lot of gay friends, and many of them have similar stories of sexual abuse and unstable family situations.

I am sure that you will find the right woman who will love you very deeply and that she will be able to provide you with the love, comfort, support and stability that your life has lacked. I would definitely date someone like you without any hesitation.

Besides prayer and bible studies, you might consider fasting and charity work. Since you are already asking for God's help, I think maybe therapy could be very helpful to you.

Take good care, God bless.