Why do men not like to pay child support? Have they been brought up wrong?

Question

I cannot understand it, you know I would give my last to my child, wherever they lived and they would get all inheritance, infact it is a reason to work hard, so you can provide the very best in life for your child.

I just do not understand does not matter whether planned or not, the fact you have had unprotected sex makes any of those arguements void.

Before anyone assumes Im a benefit scrouger I earn over £60k, own my house outright and continue to work. The child is the innocent party so why should the child's lifestyle suffer because a man has run off or is impossible to live with?

It just seems there is a connection missing for these men who often have been married to their partners, planned their children and so on. Then abandon their children, quite frankly I would not do that do a dog and why should others state or single working parents pick up the tab for men who choose not to pay that's immorral and makes for a terrible society.

champayne Obviously you think a child costs nothing and has no baby essential needs such as nappies and a women's career does not suffer? Come on girl, wise up to your victim partner, who was the real victim? Yes the baby! His baby!

Dick Child support includes absent mother's too, why should the man always pay, you are a bit simple, i will ignore that argument as it carries little weight.

I have a PHD I hardly think Aldis check out is much use of an expensive education.

As I before mentioned no contraception is 100% so men if you having sex, think and take responsibiltiy!

An abortion is not like going in for a filling guys!! Your playing a being god deciding whether your child lives or dies, for most it is a very hard choice to make, and live with yourself.

salad dodger I have picked my self up I just don't understand men attitude, but agree with the others it is a social problem.

billy bob the reason the amounts vary is because should be brought up as if both parent were present and had not separated. Just because parents have separated does not mean the child's lifestyle should suffer, simple as that.

billy bob its not about the money it is men taking responsibility, that is the real issue!

Billy Bob claiming child support is hardly stealing from others! If anything it is the absent parent stealing from it's child. Your mother done a terrible job, if you think what your saying is in any way acceptable. I earn a good living, but a man should still pay for HIS baby and if men don't wish to do this DO NOT have sex. simple as that sweetie!

Answer 1

it is a power trip

Answer 2

Yes, he absolutely should. That's one of the consequences of having sex. At best, he can pay the child support and have nothing to do with the child and its mother if he wants... though that's not cool for the child. There are only very very rare circumstances when I'd maybe argue a guy shouldn't be obligated to pay support. Every now and then some woman will outright lie about birth control, maybe take advantage of a guy drunk at a party, etc., etc., and she ends up pregnant and basically trying to trap him. But those are rare and extreme. And even then, it's really really hard to say the guy had no part in it, and that the child's interests don't now come first. Anyway, no, you shouldn't be ashamed of filing for child support just because he wanted an abortion. I personally don't know that a father who's only met the child once should even be around -- that kind of stuff can be even more damaging than a father who is just entirely not there. I mainly don't know why you'd wait this long to file for support.

Answer 3

Not all men have a problem paying child support. My ex never had a problem, in fact the check was usually two weeks early. But then he KNEW that the money was going towards our daughter's care and not in my pocket. And that is where the problem lies. Some men believe that child support is for their ex wives and they have a problem with that. Other men KNOW their ex wives are spending the child support on themselves rather than the children. Frankly I have always thought that there should be a seperate account set up for the child support and only those expenses that actually have to do with the care and well being of the child would be paid out of that account. But then I am quite aware of the fact that my daughter's child support was for HER and not myself.

Answer 4

Because in some cases it is simply a portion of the mans pay and is not based on what the child actully needs...therefore it is an alimony bonus check for the mother. How can one child be raised on $100 bucks a month support, and another $1000 bucks a month. In many cases it has nothing to do with need. The other argument is men have no say on the reproductive process other than insemination...so if the woman mislead or lied about being on birth control once she is pregnant she has 100% reproductive rights. Ponder this...what if said woman got an abortion and the man wanted the child? He would be powerless to force her to bear the child he may fully love and support. And in said case, why shouldn't the man be able to sue the mother for mental and emotional loss for the next 18 years?? Funny women want their cake and eat it too. To me the better question is why do these women insist on popping out babies if they aren't prepared to take care of them.

P.s. If you need extra money get an extra job just like everyone else trying to make it in the world. Need does not justify thievery. If you made a decision in your life then deal with it, don't steal from others.

Answer 5

Child support is necessary and some men pay willingly.
The majority do not for the simple reason that the ex is the one spending the money. Often with the new partner.
Many situations, the money is additional family income, whereas for the payee it is paid from a sole income.

How many women would give money to an ex and his girlfriend, which she needs for living?
The problem is not a 'male' problem, it's a social one.

That said, a solution needs to be found.

Answer 6

I agree with everything you said, and to the guy Dick, why should the guy always pay is because the woman is the one devoting every minute of her life to her kids and raising children is the hardest job there is, you men get off easy by just having to pay a little bit of money and still go on with your lives, raising children is hard work and expensive the least you can do is pay for some to make sure your child has everything they need and is well taken care of, whats so bad about that, Girl, I say if they dont pay take them to court and make them help take care of THEIR kid too, Good Luck!

Answer 7

Maybe too big a generalisation as many of us are proud to and contribute more than courts etc want.

I dislike and cannot understand men or women who do not care enough for their children to help them through their early lives. It's selfish and cruel.

A reason may be that the man didn't carry the child inside of himself, which creates an extra sense of responsibility? Or he feels himself some kind of playboy, with the world of women there for his taking. I dunno.

Rob

Answer 8

They don't pay cos they think the mother spends it on herself,my ex uesd to say that,but he wouldn't buy any nappies or clothes instead of giving me the money. Some ex partners are in other relationships where they are bringing up someone elses kid and can't afford much for anyone else,out of sight out of mind.

Answer 9

I dont think its that men dont like paying child support most men dont like it when the money is not spent on their child some women all they want the child for is money example is my husbands ex she is prego with her 4th kid no job at all and my husband pays 400 a month and the child lives with us more then half the time and none of the money gets spent on the child!!!! i BELIVE DAD'S WOULD RATHER GO BUY THIER CHILD THIER NEEDS INSTEAD OF PAYING CHILD SUPPORT

Answer 10

Men should happily pay for theitr children. I'm glad to see that like the murphys, you're not bitter about your very broad generalisation of men in this situation. Surely you could devote more qualty time to your child, seeing as you are so affluent, by getting a part time job in Aldi. Money aint everything.

Answer 11

im a young man of old fashion ethics, i dont know why alot of these guys do that, older men i do not know but of the ages 18-29 i can talk about. im 21 i cant conceive of leaving myown flesh and blood out to dry...but i do understand that theres alot of a$$holes out there that think if a women is on BC then they can have all the unprotected sex they want without even thinking of having a kid...so when you say its theirs the freak out, say it wasnt theirs, blames you were sleeping around, refuses to get a blood test and will cut off all communication to the mother of his child...all due to denial....also theres alot of cases out there that just drain men of all there money if they have child support...ive seen some cases where it was $800/month for one kid where the father only makes 30,000/year. thats a ton of money its like paying for 3 cars a month when he only has one. some girls just "rape" guys of there wallets and so that goes around and it scares most men...and alot of the time guys see or hear what some these women do with that money they use it for themselves instead of for the kid...so they dont really see it going to their kid, they see it going to the women that refused to get an abortion...so they wouldnt have to pay all that money...but i personally belive abortion is murder.

so those are my thoughts on your subject.