Ok,
I was dating this guy for awhile and I noticed we would hang out at my house most of the time...
Well we were having sex too...
Come to find out I see him with another woman...
I confront him about it at a different time and I learn that it is his WIFE.
He said he wanted to leave her.
SO here is the actual question.
I figured that if he was going to cheat on his wife with me then he would probably cheat on me so really I want to know should I tell her what he has been doing or just leave him and not talk about it??
2007-02-03 18:57:58 · 18 answers · asked by sammyd734 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just like to add...
I did not know he was married I actually had no Idea about her. I feel really bad for her and Shedidnt deserve this at all ...
2007-02-03 19:06:23 · update #1
The241king.... WHAT? lol
2007-02-03 19:07:48 · update #2
These are really helpful answers Thank you it really helped out and I know what I am going to do..
2007-02-03 19:11:59 · update #3
Well you're smart to realize that he'd probably cheat on you too, that is if he ever actually left the wife. As far as telling her I wouldn't do it, but you have to follow your instincts. Do what you feel is the right thing. You show intelligence w your decision to end it w him so trust yourself to make the smart choice in telling the wife or not. Just be prepared for any kind of reaction from her. Good luck w it all.
2007-02-03 19:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Polly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell her. There are no great advantages in doing so, with the possible exception of revenge. There's a good possibilty that she already knows, but doesn't know who you are. If so, it's probably a good idea to let matters remain that way lest she decide to do something to you. Even if she doesn't know about the situation, I can't see any great advantages in making the acquaintance.
It will be difficult no matter what you do: you're going to feel a good deal of pain for a while. But telling the wife very likely won't make you feel much better, and there's always the chance that it'll do you harm. Good luck, and be a bit more careful when choosing males. We are a slippery breed.
2007-02-04 03:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by 2n2222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
He would cheat on you as well.
I suspect his wife knows or will eventually find out. If their are kids involved I wouldn't get involved.
If you don't plan on being with him why tell the wife.
What would you say, I'm sorry I didn't know he was married?
She might blame you for running after him and side with her husband or he could deny it and say you were a crazy woman that was after him.
Let it go. There is nothing to gain by it. She could just as easily start telling people what a bad person you are.
I don't think he'll leave the wife, she might eventually kick him out
2007-02-04 03:06:11 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK girl, the first thing you need to do is take care of YOU. Get all the usual STD tests done ASAP!
If he's cheating on his wife, he's cheating on you too.
Just let him go, it's not your job to tell her (the wife) that's he's cheating - chances are that she already knows or at least suspects. If you really feel you need to tell her, I'd do it with a letter. That way you don't have to worry about her trying to hurt you.
This guy is a jerk and you are much better off without his drama!!!
2007-02-04 03:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by sassysugarchef 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends how strongly you feel about it
yes it is safe to say he would cheat on you too, and how can you tell for sure if he is lying about wanting to leave his wife...you didnt even know he had one
so if you conscience will let you sleep at night knowing that you broke up ( not really your fault but still) marriage than g ahead and tell her but you might make some enemies
or just simply call him an as*hole and turn your back an move on
2007-02-04 03:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..pretty Tough one isn't it?
The problem is this, He was already cheating on you
Do you see that?yes he was married to his wife and was cheating on her when he was with you but he was also doing the same to you vise versa.
I think it's high time you said goodbye and well,, might want to spare his poor wife because she will find out about it one way or the other.
2007-02-04 03:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by pinkpanther4m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just leave him and not talk about it. You don't want to be that hor* that breaks up a happy home. Let some other girl deal with that. But stay away. It will be better for you to just move on and don't look back.
2007-02-04 03:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by spoiled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her, though know what you'll be getting yourself into. She'll either #1 be thankful about it or #2 blame you for it all and you'll have to defend yourself and make her realize that it's her husband who is a scumbag. If I were in the wife's shoes, I'd personally respect you for telling me yourself and owning up to your actions (even if you didn't know he was married).
2007-02-04 03:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had already cheated you by not telling that he has a wife. Just leave him and don't talk about it. He doesn't deserve you.
2007-02-04 03:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by Princess Shai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one....I say this....if he really hurt you by lying to you and in a way cheated on you (with his wife) because your feelings for him were genuine, then i would tell her in a mature way so she believes me...Because you know he's going to deny it and make you sound crazy...but if you have some kind of proof like pictures or something....that might work....But...if you sense he might hurt you in any way cause you told then just forget about him and her...your life is most important....good luck
2007-02-04 03:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by uz2bafrk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋