What kind of boundaries does your girl/boyfriend need to have in regards to their friendly ex?

Answer 1

I think if they are an ex, they are an ex for a reason. There is no need to get your panties in a wrinkle over an ex. In my opinion, once people split there is no hope of reconciliation... I mean something wasn't working before, who's to say that things changed, and if they did change why... for you? for them? You don't need to worry about the ex... especially when they live thousands of miles away.

Answer 2

Well everyone is different but here are my boundaries. My boyfriend's ex was friends with him before we got together. He offered to end all contact with her. But I didn't want him to lose a friend and especially since I am not sure if this is going to work out.

So I shared with him what I wanted which is not to have her at his apt, not to go to hers, and not to go anwhere with her. He can talk to her on the phone. I shared with him what would make me feel comfortable and I did not give him an ultimatum and demand he give up his friend.

So when you set your boundaries with your boyfriend do it in a nonconfrontational way. If you push them in to a corner they will not react the way we want. Now if this exgirlfriend was hanging around because she wants him back then I would set stronger boundaries and tell him that I would like no contact with her.

So your decision needs to be based on what makes you comfortable, what this exes intentions are, and what your boyfriend feels.

Answer 3

Oh, I think my girlfriend and I see eye-to-eye on this. She is respectful of my feelings and would never dream of having lunch with the ex or inviting the @sshole over to our place or anything.

I mean, "ex" means "former." It's over. There's really no reason for her to be socializing with him.

If they'd had kids together, sure, there would have to be some contact but it'd only have to do with the kids. Not socializing. And certainly no hanging out with him when I'm not around. He coming to get the kids and coming into the lving room for a minute while I'm around, that I could handle. I would not want to come home from work and find him sitting in my easy chair drinking one of my beers. Know what I mean?

Answer 4

The kind of boundaries that you need to have are such that your girl/boyfriend will not have one iota of concern regarding his relationship with his ex. As you can well imagine, ex-wives are a little different than ex-girlfriends.