I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. . He moved down here to get away from his past,he used to do cocaine. Unfortunately he slipped up and did it again a couple of times. Now he is in jail because of his addiction. He went to a drug rehab and had to finish his sentence in jail. He gets out very soon and we both want to work things out. It s just that he is so afraid that I am going to cheat on him because the last relationship he had he caught her cheating on him, and they were engaged. I never been arrested but I do know that it is hard to be in there while the person that you love is continuing life without you. He is terrified of losing me but he would call me horrible names and will call right back and try to apologize. when I ask him why he does that he said that's how his mom treated him and he knows no other way.He says he hates being so angry but he has an inner hate for his mom. I know that he would give anything for me though.What do I do?
2007-02-03 16:54:22 · 13 answers · asked by topaz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
RUN BEFORE HE HURTS YOU...HE HAS ISSUES HE STILL NEEDS TO WORK OUT AND HE NEEDS TO WORK THEM OUT ALONE...
2007-02-03 16:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by sadgreeneyes3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he still needs a lot of help... You will have to be very strong if you want to stick with him and help him, but keep in mind that no matter how much you may love someone, some people just can't be helped. You will have to think about this for a long time because this could be your future if you choose to work things out with him.
2007-02-03 16:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realize that the victimization and disrespect his mother supposedly used on him thoroughout his younger years, is clearly being acted out in your relationship! It is common knowledge that a man victimized as a child identifies with the victimizer. However, a woman victimized as a child usually plays the victim in relationships all throughout her life! Learn from your past experience...PLEASE! Is this repetitive manipulation what you really want? He is also projecting his past experiences onto you by accusing you of cheating. What else does he have to do to make you WAKE UP! He is severely damaged goods. Don't take a chance to become HIS damaged goods! Life is too short to be with a cruel and disrespectful individual. Please listen to that little voice in your head and head OUT!
2007-02-03 17:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i feel bad for your boyfriend,i really do. but i have to tell you also, that with little doubt, you are in for a life of pain and misery with him. he has a lot of red flags, and of the worst kind. all that your friends and loved ones can do is hope that you have a great strenght of character. it is going to be hard on them watching you struggle with this man. sorry to sound so negative,but ive seen it so many times, and had my share of personal experiences with people who have similar problems as he does. best wishes
2007-02-03 17:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are determined to give him another chance, insist that he goes to NA meetings when he gets out, otherwise you are setting yourself up for abuse. NA does not talk about getting off drugs anymore than AA talks about getting off alcohol. The 12- step programs are about getting your life on track.
2007-02-03 17:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to do what is right for you., he has some things that
he need to work out , and his reason to do what he does to you
is excuse, time for you to leave this along for a while so that
he can get his act together other wise he will contnue to hurt
you and be sorry later, and blame his situaiton with his mom
to keep doing it to you.
2007-02-03 17:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should give him his space, so that he can deal with his issues, It is safer for you. I f he hits you and says thats what my mom did to me... is it ok? No! never..... so let him focus on fixing himself and should you decide later that things are ok then consider possible getting back with him
2007-02-03 17:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by misserica76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being very patient. Be careful not to take too much abuse. Give him another chance and tell him it will be his last; and stick to your word or he will always abuse you. Tough love. He needs it.
2007-02-03 17:00:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, hes had a rough past, so if you really love him show him that he can trust you and that there is no other man in your life.
2007-02-03 17:00:10 · answer #9 · answered by ~Val~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometime a second chance is badly needed
2007-02-03 16:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by secret &trade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋