How do I deal with tantrums?

Question

My daughter is 3 and a half and she screams and throws herself on the ground for the silliest of things and she acts like I am trying to kill her (which I am not)
I have tried the naughty corner, ignoreing it, or removing her or whatever it is that she wants is ther anything else I can try

Also my 10 month old is learning fast and I dont need two of them she cries like she is being murdered (very high pitched ) when everr she wants something aswell what do I do

Answer 1

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and two older sons and I think that this is what you need to do- Okay, let's say, for instance, you're going to eat dinner in 30 minutes and Sweet Girl decides she needs a Rice Krispie Treat. Now. So you tell her, "No, Honey, we are about to eat and you need to save room in your tummy for the healthy foods." She starts to whine and dance around and the tantrum starts. In a louder and firm, but not angry voice, say, " If you do not stand up and act like a big girl, I will put you in time-out until you can calm down." If she doesn't, then scoop her up and deposit her in the time-out spot. When you get there say, "You are in time-out because you were not obeying me, and when you calm down , we will talk about it." I don't have a problem putting my kids on their beds to 'take a break and calm down' but you might choose another spot. (When we're out somewhere, I would walk them straight to the restroom or dressing room and talk and calm down there. That's also good because there aren't as many things going on to further stimulate them.) When she calms down say, "You asked me for a snack and I said no. We can't eat snacks right before dinner because our tummies only have so much room, and if we fill up on treats we won't have room to put the good food in that makes us happy and grow. I know you're getting hungry and we will eat soon. Now, can you help me put the napkins on the table?" You get the point. I have never regreted EXPLAINING things to my kids instead if just saying that I was the mom and I said so! Truth is, they DON'T know and they get frustrated because things seem out of control sometimes in their little worlds. Stay calm and realize that she most likely won't still be doing this in a few months to a year. But DON'T give in just to make her stop.

Answer 2

First of all you should never give in. My neice used to do this kind of thing all the time and it was really embarrassing in the stores. My dad always blamed it on my sister not spanking her. I don't know if that was it or not. He and my mom raised five of us and we knew better than to throw a tantrum because we knew what would happen if we did. They didn't beat us but they did spank us when we needed it. We all still turned out well and don't have any mental problems or anything. lol. If she knows she will get a spanking when she throws a fit like that she will start learning how to ask for what she wants in a much calmer way.

Answer 3

Keep doing what you are doing and add spanking. This is NOT abuse as many would try to tell you. Abuse is hitting with an object other than your hand in a spot other than the child's buttocks. Spanking is needed in this case. Don't spank her if you have "lost it". Remove her to her room or get away and calm down. Then spank her. ( I threw tantrums until I was in 4th grade. I can't imagine how my parents dealt with it in their minds! They stayed after me.) I had one child that gave us trouble like this until he was in high school. Stay the coarse and don't give her a reason to holler abuse. Be in control when you punish her. She will grow up and thank you, even if it is 15 years from now or longer! Stay the coarse! Be firm! Remember, when it's all over and she is calm, remind her of your love for her by hugging her! That is important! Whether she wants a hug or not, she probably won't, that's why it is important to hug her! She may stay angry with you, let her know the punishment isn't anger, it's love for her.

Answer 4

I used to have tantrum problems but after watching Super Nanny, it helped me a lot. I use the naughty corner and reward tactics and it work wonders. Of course it's hard to kick the habit and it took me almost 5 months to implemet that method to my kids. And now, they know each time they make a mistake or throw tantrums, they went straight to their respective naughty corner and sit till I demand an apology. I dun have to spank and shout like I used to. Before I imply the naughty corner method, my son who is almost 3 showed signs of being embarrased when I scolded or spank him whenever he threw a tantrum when we were out.

Answer 5

When my daughter tried that in the market, I looked at her and told her "Well, let me know when you are done. If you don't get done, then good luck with your new Dad...I'm leaving". Then I turned, walked down the aisle and left. I made a turn at the end of the aisle so she couldn't see me, then peeked around the corner. She looked at where I'd gone and realized I wasn't there. "DADDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" when I came back around the corner, I asked her, " Did your tantrum get you what you wanted?" "No" "Did it work?" "No." Then I said, "Then don't do it again! Try asking instead of throwing a tantrum".

She tried it once or twice more, but once she realized it wasn't going to get her what she wanted, she quit.

Answer 6

Spank her each time she does it after removing her from wherever she is throwing the tantrum. She needs to know you mean what you say and sitting in a corner, ignoring her, or simply removing her isn't doing the trick. She needs to be punished for inappropriate behavior or she will continue to walk all over you.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Have you seen The Nanny? (British show - like a horse whisperer, but with kids!)

Try this: Get down to her level, speak eye-to-eye, and ask her (calmly) what is wrong. Explain that you can't understand her when she's whinging/throwing a tantrum and that she needs to "use her words" and tell you what is wrong, and only then can you "fix it".

It works with my 2 1/2 yr old son (most times!).

Answer 8

The three year old-if your not into giving your child beatings-take things away that she likes. not fifteen minutes at a time more like days and weeks. she'll learn that way. if your ten month old is picking up those habits treat the baby the same way. if she(?) can pick up the habits then she can pick up the punishments. she'll(?) learn early. don't be embarrassed in public either-people critisize harder if your children are misbehaved then you punishing your children and trying to teach them right from wrong. it is not natural for children to disrespect adults and with no punishment the problem just gets bigger-IT DOES NOT RESOVLE.

Answer 9

pick them up and put them in bed and tell them when they can act normal they can come out of their rooms
[time out for temper tantrums is the only way]
my son started doing that when he was 4 yrs. and we would put him in bed and tell him ,he was not allowed out of bed until the could act normal with no yelling and it worked it took about 12 months but worth the effort he is now 16 yrs. and get mad and goes to his room when he is mad about something

Answer 10

time out or put them in there room for 5 minutes unless they ask then longer and take her to her room tell her cry in the room it works Wonders