will the hurt ever subside it hurts realy bad
2007-02-03 16:10:32 · 4 answers · asked by andy m 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i lost my son matt to brainstem cancer oct 10 2006 , he was 17 . i can honestly tell you that it hurts as bad today as it did then . i am told that eventually it wont hurt as bad but you will always feel it . there will be times that you feel okay and out of nowhere bam you hurting all over again. i truly wish i had words to ease your pain but i dont , there is nothing that i can say or do to make your loss not hurt so much . i try to remember the good times , i also build memorials everywhere i can .the worst part for me is that i dont want anyone to forget matt as i know you dont want your wife forgotten. you will always miss her and thats okay , try to live your life the way your wife would have wanted , good luck and god bless , contact me if you want to talk...........
2007-02-04 15:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by sindi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, in time, yes, the pain will subside, but never really go away.
You will find when you go through the grieving process, you will enter stages, of denial, sadness, abandonment, to even anger, and then there will be the days where you will feel fine, and feel guilty for doing okay without your spouse.
This is all apart of dealing with the pain, and it is natural. Allow yourself time to feel, and time to grow and do not give yourself any time limits on when you should feel like you have moved on.
If the pain is too hard, I would suggest holding off a few days or a week before you look at pictures, and remenice... you need time to just be alone in your thoughts, and when you are ready, perhaps writing your feelings on paper, in poem form might allow you the opportunity to say what you need to to release your feelings and heal . Think of the good times, but please try not to focus on the negative of how your loved one's absence will no longer bring that joy to them... embrace your time you had with them, and just take one day at a time... that is all you can give yourself right now...
Many people will want to reach out to you, please take it, do not isolate yourself... even if you feel like a broken record to them, talking about it helps, and allow yourself to cry infront of your loved ones and friends... perhaps try to talk to a therapist, will help. ( If a total stranger works for you.. I'm here, use my email any time. )
Wrap yourself in a blanket, put on soothing music, and have a cup of tea( if you drink tea) and ease yourself into sleep...
oh please try to eat, if just a little, it is so easy during this time to forget to eat, or not even want to... in your grief, your immune system is lowered, so try to at least eat some orange juice and some fruits and veggies ... allow friends and family to help you...
God Bless you, please let us know how you are doing!
your friend, Shannon
2007-02-04 00:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry for your loss. we are all different. i loss ed alot of people and my grad mother the hardest one so far. i cryed for years. today i thought of what i would do and how id feel if i lossed my husband i did not think to long but i think i thought about how id have his family not that i really cared for them much. but it went threw my mind. i guess id feel closer because of him. id keep really busy. and find comfort in knowing we had lots of fun laughing. . i wonder if id think of all that fighting. its a hard feeling to go threw. sorry i cant take it away for you. try to find a faith or people to help you. take care with lovexxoo
2007-02-04 00:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by mouse ears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are only as hard as you make them, seek help if you need it. My best advice is to keep busy, perhaps take up a new hobby.
2007-02-04 23:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋