Do you think parents should get upset if ...?

Question

Should parents get upset if the eldest child tell them that he/she doesn't want to be the role model of his/her younger sibling? The older child doesn't want to play with her little sister, share friends and secrets with her or take her little sister with her when she wants to hang out with her friends. Do you as a parent get upset if you hear this from your older child? Do you think it is right?

Answer 1

I'd say as long as they aren't being mean or harmful to their younger sibling, it's nothing to be upset about. As kids mature, they acquire a greater need for independence, and generally don't want to be around their younger siblings as much. They need to be allowed to develop and pursue their own life. Besides, if you push your kid to do anything or behave a certain way, it will usually only make them oppose the idea more.

Answer 2

I don't think the parent should be too upset. The older child is probably going through a stage where she/he doesn't have a lot in common with the younger one. Once the younger grows up a little, they'll most likely become good friends again. Right now the older child just needs some space.

Answer 3

I think that you should have a meeting with your parents. Tell them what you are feeling. You did not have your siblings, therefore you should not have to share your friends. Your brother/sister should have their own friends. As a parent I would not want my younger daughter hanging out with older children. The thing that I dont agree with is the fact that you dont want to be a role model for her. Your younger siblings are always going to look up to you. You have a duty as the first to make sure that infront of your sister that you set an example and a good example at that.

Answer 4

Pushing her to do something she doesnt want to do is not the way to go about the situation. And who would want to bring their younger sibling along when he/she hangs out with friends? I know I dont. I think you should just hold both children to the same standards. Instead of asking the older one to be a role model, ask her to simply do the right thing and that will make her a role model in itself.

If all else fails, the yonger child is probably just going through a phase and will soon try to be the opposite her older sister.

Answer 5

the eldest child is powerless in this decision. by virtue of the fact that you are the oldest your younger siblings are watching EVERYTHING you do, and what happens to you for doing it. If you're a doper, and don't get caught, and your parents can't seem to control you, and waver on their discipline, you can BET your siblings are watching. Anything you say has more impact than anything your parents say.

Too late, you shoulda been born second, or third.

Should your parents be upset? Maybe. It depends on whether your a good kid, good student, or a P.O.S. with a bad attitide, getting suspended from school, a give a crap attitude.

Either way, your brothers and sisters are watching and emulating (copying) you.

You don't have to share secrets, you should get to have your own time though, but do need to help out. You're not their parent, your their sibling.

Answer 6

I think it depends on how much of an age difference there is.

My 2 year old wants to copy everything my 5 year old does. The 5 year old sometimes gets annoyed with it, but shes young and she doesnt understand.

An older child though, like 15 or older, should understand how important their role is in the family. You could try reasoning with them and making them understand how the younger sibling looks up to them.

If she doesnt want to share friends and secrets, or hang out with the sibling. I dont think its right to "make" her do so. If she wants a life independant of her sibling, she should be able to have one. Being a role model, and making her share every moment of her life with her sibling, are 2 different things.

Answer 7

I think you can still be a role model and also have your own life. Both children need their own independence. I think the parents need to look at why the younger child wants to hang off the older child and where are her own friends. I still think it would be nice if the older could allow sometime to the younger child as you all are family.

Answer 8

What age difference are we talking about here? For example, if the kids are 13 and 10, then no wonder the 13 year old doesn't want her little sister hanging around. I wouldn't have either at that age. My 10 year old step-daughter is already getting sick of her 7 year old sister following her and her friends around, and we don't say a word against it. I can't blame her, there is a HUGE maturity and interest difference. The 7 year old is very immature and can act babyish sometimes, and that rightfully annoys the 10 year old, who wants to talk to her friends about boys and growing boobs and stuff that is a little bit too "old" for the 7 year old.

As kids get older, their interests change. It's perfectly normal for an older sibling not to want their "pest" of a younger sibling hanging around with them all the time. Your kids are TWO seperate people with different interests and maturity levels. In my opinion, there is nothing to get upset over, it's a normal part of growing up. Once kids hit a certain, older age, their friendships usually pick up again as older teenagers or young adults. Don't worry about it, it's normal. Don't force your older child to do something she doesn't want to. Let her have her privacy and space from her younger sister or she may grow to resent her, and you for forcing her to drag her little sis around all the time.

Answer 9

Why doesn't this older child want to be a role model? It should be an honor to have anyone look up to her. Little kids need someone to look up to and trust. They need someone to tell all their secrets to. The parents didn't have an only child. They gave their kids siblings...so they should take advantage of that. The older child can learn a lot from the little one too. Life is too short.

Answer 10

There is a huge difference betweeen being a younger sibling's role model and having to hang out with them all the time. You can certainly model such things as study skills, respect of parents, hair care tips, etc. None of these involve having to have all of your spare time obligated to your younger sibling.

The time my two kids spend together tend to be times when the entire family is involved in the activity. They sometimes choose to do a mutually-liked activity together (sledding at a nearby park, going swimming, etc), but that is usually their idea, not mine.

Maybe set up one or two specific things that you can enjoy with your younger sibling on an occasional basis. If she knows that the two of you have plans to go rollerskating (for example) after school one day a week, she may be more likely to accept you not including her in other plans.

I'd be upset if my older child refused to take part in any activity that involved her younger brother. I'd be very happy if they could enjoy eachother....sometimes.

Answer 11

I think that it's good nor bad. Sometimes secrets and friends just need to be for big sister, but learning to share them is always needed too. Experience from being a older and younger sister, I know it's really fun to play with big sister's friends sometimes, but as an older sister, it gets annoying if little sister always tags along. Dont get upset, just be even and fair on time.