Do you think this is fair?

Question

My mother says I have to wait tell med. college till I can date!!! Not fair, I'm going to be so old!!! I'm already in 10th grade I think I can be held responsible with dating! Do u think my mother is right or am I? And if u think I am right what should I about it? What should I tell her??? Ugh, please help!!!

Answer 1

I understand both sides. I've been a 10th-grader. I know how much I wanted to spend time alone with my boyfriend- movies, dinner, min-golf, whatever- just not under Mom and Dad's noses!!!

But at the same time, I've been a 10th-grader, and in hindsight, I see exactly how naive and foolish I was. As a future mother, I don't know if I would be able to trust my 10th-grade children to make wise choices when they're not under my nose. I know I wasn't always trustworthy.

The woman I am is so glad I don't have to decide whether to trust the girl I was.

Whether you like it or not, your mom is the one in charge. Till you're 18, and/or living in your own home, you are bound by her rules... and she's probably got a good reason for feeling the way she does. Ask her about it. She may have some insight for you.... and there may be a way the two of you can find a compromise.


(Yes, I know that this is NOT what you are wanting to hear, and I probably won't get "Best," but your question sounds like a real question, so this is my real answer.)

Answer 2

At 15 or 16 the hormones are raging. All your friends are dating. And you feel like the odd one out. This age is the best of times and the worst of times. It would certainly save you a lot of confusion and heart ache if you could wait until you are in college. At 18 or so you have a bit more control and polish. But even then, dating is not easy. I don't know that dating is ever easy. But if you are considering med school... and you are serious about medicine as a career... dating can lead to scenarios that could be detrimental to your career path.

Life has a way of throwing a hugh wrench into the best laid plans of mice and men.

There will be plenty of time for relationships when you have yourself well on the path to your chosen life. Don't rush growing up. You are going to be stuck being a grown up for a really long time. And it is really not a much fun as young people think it is.

Answer 3

I think you are right, but I do know that dating can bring up things that you may not be ready to address. I feel if you can answer questions about what responsible dating is, and have some limits that help you this way, then you should be able to share time with those who are of the opposite sex. It is your mother's fears that are saying that you cannot be trusted with these kinds of decisions, and I don't feel this is really fair to you. But I understand her fears, and wanting to protect you from the choices that are made in dating. I feel it's important to make sure you have a strong sense of who you are, before dating others seriously. . this takes alot of trial and error. .but I believe dating as friends only, can help you with this, helping you to be more experienced in relationships, and life revolves around these. My thoughts are...why not date. .but being upfront from the very beginning, that it cannot go beyond friendship at this time in your life. But your mom needs to be the one to see and hear that you want and value the things that are also important, as far as your life goes, and you are not going to jeopardize this. It must not take the place of other activities that help you to become the adult you are becoming, but only to enhance your life. Until this gets worked out, what do you think about getting into an active and fun youth group, where they have alot of fun, with pizza nights, overnight stays at camps and things like this to fill in this void in you. You can meet new friends, snuggle up, have fun in a safe, controlled environment, and learn and grow about life. They have these at big churches that have alot of things going on for teens. When you turn 18, you can also do what you desire, and will have hopefully had some experience with closer friendships to grow and learn from. Your personal life will be your business, hopefully you will know yourself pretty good by this time, or at least much better, and you can keep your personal life your very own.

Answer 4

I think you are responsible enough to date. Your mom is just exaggerating , she will probally let you date sooner than that. I have two words of advice 4 u.

1. Start dating now, how is your mom going to know that you have a boyfriend unless she stalks you?

2. As soon as you turn 18 you can do whatever you want and you dont have to listen to your mom, so start dating! Any mom that wants their daughter to wait till the middle of college to date is on crack.

Answer 5

What kind of teenager are you? Are you responsible or are you crazy? Either way she is just trying to protect you. Stop trying to grow up so fast. She is right boys are trouble!!!!!!!
Would she let you go on a date with a boy if another girl went with a different boy? Maybe you could suggest a double date first. Is there a specific boy you have in mind? Maybe you should take the time to introduce her to this new "friend" first before you introduce him as a date or a boyfriend.

Answer 6

Don't say anything to her. Just try to act more mature about things and maybe she'll change her mind later on down the road.

Some mothers are overly protective of their daughters and worry something will happen to them. It seems ridiculous to you now, but you'll understand later. This happens usually due to how their daughters act.

I do, however, feel that medical college is too long. High school is more realistic.


Good luck. :)

Answer 7

ok your in 10th grade. what she means is wait til after highschool to date. You don't have to now. Once your done with highschool she thinks you will be more mature about dating. so listen to your mother and pay attention to the books. it will get you further in life then a guy will.

Answer 8

Uh, I hope she's joking. I tell my daughter she'll be 40 before I let her date, but I'm totally kidding. Hey, when you turn 18, even the government says your an adult. When your in the 10th grade--sorry, but parents rule the roost. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

Listen to your mother for now. Don't argue with her about it, I think she's set in her opinion. Once you're 18 you can do what you want. Even if you live with her, you need to have some independence and be able to choose who you date.

Answer 10

i think you should listen to your mom. she knows you better than you know yourself.so if she is saying something there must be some reason behind it. you will realize this in a long run. afterall she will not think bad for you. come on she has brought you up so i think you should listen to her. furthur its up to you. its your life. and everyone is an individual. all i can say is that its your life, you have to live, we all are nobody to interfere in your personal matter. i am sorry if i had hurt you but this is the fact.just listen to your heart. take care.