I am a daughter in a family of three girls. I am the oldest. I have a sister (who i hate) and I have a down-syndrome sister (who i loved so much) who died at age 18. Between being the oldest girl and having a ds sister, I bearly had any attention. Now that I am twenty-one do you think I might be effected by lack of attention?
2007-02-03 14:44:44 · 15 answers · asked by Grammar B*@%h 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your parents love you
2007-02-03 14:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a boy friend that gives you enough attention?
I'm oldest also, but don't feel like you do. I don't like a lot of attention though. I would have to know more about how you were treated as a teenager to judge what your question is asking.
Do you feel like there is not enough love in your life? I look at the world today, and find it hard to look past all the hate. It's something I'm still trying to get used to about myself.
2007-02-03 23:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by ARMY Babe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you let it affect you. Did your sister with Downs Syndrome receive the most attention? If so, you can consider that your parents had to give her more attention because of her special needs and feel blessed that you had a loving relationship with her in the time that you had together. Try not to resent your other sister; sometimes it feels that my younger sister got more attention than me because she demands more from my parents and had many "bad behaviors". Take pride in yourself and your accomplishments, no matter how small, because you have learned how to take care of yourself and are not dependent on others for your sense of worth. You don't mention your relationship with your parents, but if it is a good one, recognize that they love you and were probably overwhelmed by the responsibilities they had. If not, acknowledge that they are human and therefore prone to make mistakes, and strive to build a better relationship with them now if you desire it. You are young and have a lot of time ahead of you to live a fulfilling life, either on your own or with the love of your family. Let go of bad things from the past, and cherish the good memories. Look forward and build the best life for yourself that you can from now on. Resentment will only bring you down and keep you from accomplishing the goals you have for yourself. If you find yourself starving for attention, be wary of where you seek it as people may try to take advantage of you and hurt you. In this day and age, "family" can be anyone that you have trusting and loving relationships with, not just the people who are related to you by blood.
2007-02-03 23:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by pharmgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn your thinking around, your parents had to deal with alot with your your sister that passed away. I have no idea why you dislike your other sister, but just be very careful how you say you hate. You may have gone through periods of time where you did not get as much attention as your other sisters, yeah it is hard, but it is by no means to give yourself permission to go out and get self destructive because you got a little less attention....that would be childish. and by all means do not go out looking for any type of attention that you can get, then someone is going to hurt you. I am certain that your parents loved you so very much, and alot of time they don't realize that they may have pushed you to the side....i doubt that they meant to, but with one being so demanding of their time, and then the one you dislike, may have been very demanding of their time as well....as the oldest, I believe that we are just expected to be independent and not as needy. Just think about what your parents had to deal with, but never pass up a chance to hug not Tell them that you love them, even ask you mom if she would like to go out to lunch or shopping....Just do not use the poor me excuse to be a bad girl to "get back" at them.....you are not hurting anyone but yourself in the end....they will love you no matter, they have already lost one daughter.....don't let them loose another to herself.
2007-02-03 22:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The core of your personality is formed by age 3. Your circumstances will affect you somewhat, but in this you are by no means alone. At least you were not traumatized by abuse, as were many kids. Lack of attention can manifest in various different ways, according to the individual, that's why I'm not elaborating further. But by age 21, whatever manifestations are going to appear should have appeared by now.
2007-02-03 23:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you had all the attention as the oldest before your second sister came along.
Do you feel like you didn't get enough attention?
2007-02-03 22:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by B. Perky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to grow up where you didn't get any attention. Usually, it does effect people who grew up in a home where they didn't get as much attention as everyone else. But, if you know the situation, then it might not effect you. Since you know what the problem is, you can help yourself out.
2007-02-03 22:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are attention starved. quick go hump the next guy you find, tell him your whole sad sorry tale and maybe he will give a crap! You had a mentally challenged sister for Christs sake! Of course you aren't going to get much attention, your parents were to busy tending to her, because she needed someone to help take care of her, you don't. nuff said. I aplogize if this is mean or hate ful in any way, I have been drinking and left my heart in my other pair of pants.
2007-02-03 22:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by smitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. And at the age of 21 - you're going to be even more confused with life and who you are regardless!
Go get some help - talk to a counsellor and you will feel so much better just to get this stuff off your chest!! I know from personal experience.
2007-02-07 21:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THat happens to lots of people with handicapped sibblings, there's websites on it. My brother has aspergers syndrom and I felt the same way, both builty for being healthy and left out because even like my grad got to be about him and how he had trouble in high school.
2007-02-03 22:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by ***HDK*** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl....i'm so sorry, your story is really sad and i feel for you!!! We can't do anything to change the past(easier said i know) but you could be emotionaly affected by your past i'm sure....but i hope you can get better quickly and know that there are people that love you and care about you. I'm so sorry about your sister, i can't imagine what you went thru. Try to talk to someone about everything so you can get it all out and maybe they can help more....hugz
2007-02-03 22:49:36 · answer #11 · answered by shine_on 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋