the BF and I went to dinner. I thought on a DATE, we'd be together for the rest of the evening. After dinner, I asked him what he wanted to do. He said, "I don't know. I have to see what my son is doing." Uh, OK. He was fully willing to stop our date and drive his son wherever he needed to go - a friend's house, whatever. He's a GREAT dad and I respect that TREMENDOUSLY when there are so many bad dads. But is it wrong to think the BF could've told me BEFORE our date that it might be interrupted by his son's plans? If he'd said, "I can only be out until 7:30 tonight," that would've been OK. He does this a lot - even on New Year's Eve!
2007-02-03 14:14:52 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It looks like Linda Q and BigDaddy didn't read the entire question.
2007-02-04 07:32:46 · update #1
Maybe there is more here than you know... maybe the son has been in trouble or he is affraid of not knowing where his son is..... I think I would ask, or tell him, that you would like to know if there will be any interuptions on your date and not that you mind and that you understand, but just once you would like an uninterupted date... and if there is something he would like to tell you about this situation... I guess what I am saying is ... I would just get to the bottom of it, but do it in a nice way.... good luck. Just remember, there is a reason for everything.
2007-02-03 14:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by sushihen2 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Can I ask a question without being judged? Why couldn't YOU make suggestions or ask the question of what to do BEFORE you two went or go out? I'm not trying to be a b***h, but it's kinda simple. Why should he have to be the one to make all the plans? Isn't communication a part of being a couple? Maybe you both need to sit down together and try to plan the evening out a day or two before the "date" and hopefully things will go accordingly. Please don't hate me for this and I do hope things do get better. Oh, I do know what you mean about planning things AFTER the date has started, and that is why I stated things like I did. I got tired of things ending up that way. Life had gotten a little easier once plans were made and most of the time we got lucky...they actually worked out...and sometimes not. Good luck.
2007-02-03 14:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by momofatsc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there!
Well I think it would be acceptable for a least 2 times.Anything after that I would start to feel neglected.
Try talking to him about your feelings.I am not trying to sound mean but there are family and friends I'm sure that would either drive him somewhere or stay with him while you are on a date.
Or maybe he is the nervous type that needs some excuse to focus on something else so he does not get nervous??Or maybe in someway he is observing your behaviour.
Try talking to him.If you are thinking of having a long term relationship with him then you better say something soon.I would hate for this to go on a long time.
Good luck!! Keep your head up and be confident.
2007-02-03 14:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by virgo woman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...this is a tricky one. while you respect the fact that your boyfriend is a responsible parent in this day and age of irresponsible parents, you resent the fact that he stops what he is doing with you to take care of his son. I agree with you that he should have told you that he may have to take his son somewhere or pick him up. however, when you date a person with kids that are young and still live at home, you must understand and realize that they will always come first. I am not saying that you shouldn't be given priority also. the best thing you can do is try talking to your boyfriend and explaining how you feel, without coming across that you want all of his attention. this will be tricky because if you aren't careful he will take it that you are jealous of his son. be patient and understanding, enjoy the times that you do get to spend alone with each other, and maybe start planning date nights for just the two of you, have your boyfriend arrange transportation or whatever his kid is going to need for that evening and just relax and enjoy yourselves.
2007-02-03 14:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by smitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As parents ...our kids come first.
He should tell you in advance, but he is probably just so used to being a Dad, that ...it's what he does.
If I were you I would have a nice conversation with him about it, he probably has being doing it for so long he doesn't realize it bothers you. You never stated how long you had been dating him, and if you were even close to his son.
If for some reason you don't like kids ( I'm not saying that you don't ) then date some one with out, because kids are a lot of work, and his Dad will be running him around for a long time.
Good Luck
2007-02-03 14:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this would be very annoying. However, it seems like he has a problem saying no to either YOU or the son. Talk to him about it. Go to him saying that you feel appreciated that he loves the both of you enough to try to please you both, but in reality, he doesn't have enough time to split between the two of you at the same time or on the same day. Tell him that there is nothing wrong with trying to be the good guy, but he could be an even better guy if he were honest with everyone about his plans and made a better effort to give his full attention the the two of you at different times.
Good luck!!
2007-02-03 14:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by lanibear55 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. How bad do you want to hang on to this man?
If your really want him, you have take him on his terms. Maybe you could suggest the three of you go out together and have a fun evening and then ask for an entire evening alone with him.
2. Is he using his son to annoy you and get rid of you or test your loyalty?
Have a serious, non-emotional talk with him. If he is playing games you might want to lose him.
2007-02-03 14:22:02 · answer #7 · answered by B. Perky 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is kind of annoying for him to just assume that you are ok with it but unless you tell him otherwise hes not going to know that it bugs you. I think you should just mention it to him like, I love that you are a great father and your son will always come first but I would really appriciate it if you told me before hand if you need to take him somewhere or something that way I wouldnt be caught off guard. He should understand where you are coming from and hopefully that will make things go a bit smoother..
2007-02-03 14:21:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would just tell him that u don't mind him cutting your date short but just let u know ahead of time so u know how long he an stay out .u just don't like him taking you out and in the middle just up and leaving i don't think that's fair to u but I'm happy he is being a responsible DAD theres not many out there
2007-02-03 14:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by michelle_love2706 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Biological. You feel competition since its not your son, very bad girl. He should look for a better mate in the near future.
2007-02-04 14:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Lena F 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋