2007-02-03 13:57:59 · 12 answers · asked by tornadojono 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Having a positive attitude. Thinking you won't get dump by anyone, and then ask some girl out.
2007-02-03 14:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't guarantee anything in life when you are trying to connect with other people...you can only change what you say and what you do, nothing else in the universe, and mostly other people. It's a good thing we don't have that power. I certainly wouldn't want it being used on me...and when someone decides to walk with you through life for a while, you will know it is a good thing because they WANT to be with you. When they don't, they need to say so, and sometimes they decide they want to break up with you...
The old cliche comes to mind...if you love something set it free...blah blah. But isn't it true?
In life, and in relationships, anything can happen including losing that person or being hurt by them. Part of getting the most out of life is being willing to get hurt, willing to take chances, willing to try new things. If you don't leave yourself open for these things (not as a doormat mind you) then you may not get hurt by other people, but you probably won't be blessed by them either.
You may get dumped once in a while...and no matter who ends the relationship, it isn't always a dumping situation. At any rate, it will be worth it to have had a few painful experiences when you find the girl and there is a mutual commitment there.
One thing I can encourage you to do is be on the lookout when things aren't going well in your relationship...not so you can do the dumping first, but to look at yourself and see how much you want to change about yourself to continue being with that person, and how much they seem willing to change to be with you. Too much changing by either person means that neither of you are being true to yourselves anymore, which is never okay. And that is when the relationship needs to end. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault.
Bottom line is if you treat each other right there will be no reason to be the dumper or the dumpee. If you just aren't right for each other, it may or may not be a dump. Maybe you will decide mutually to get on with life separately. But you can learn from it either way, wish each other the best, and see it as a chance to get back out there and keep "shopping" for the right person with some new experience under your belt.
2007-02-03 14:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a matter of mutual commitment... and most folks aren't willing to do that anymore.
I've been in two relationships of five years or more - and I'm not sure what I could have done to change the outcome. The first and I went in opposite directions... I burnt out on corporate life, and wanted to do some vacation type things - at the same time as she was first getting excited about starting her career... and we did a really bad job communicating, on my part as well as her's.
My second - again - drifting apart - should have seen it coming in retrospect... I was again looking into traveling, she was looking into going back to a party lifestyle...
The only way to prevent failures like mine, is to maintain constant honest communication about wants and needs... share your thoughts, and you can stick together forever in theory.
Peace and good luck,
-dh
2007-02-03 14:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I avoided it was be the dump-er, not the dump-ee... but that was boyfriends....
Here's a couple things for you to remember for success with girls... (and to any girls reading this- I suspect this will work with guys as well....)
1) We all want to be liked for who/what we are.
2) We all want to be trusted and respected, whether we deserve it or not.
3) We all want others to take a genuine interest in us.
2007-02-03 14:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask out someone before you do the dumping and dump your present gf?
2007-02-03 14:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by osunumberonefan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have 2 be nice 2 her and get 2 know her. you have 2 let her know you're loyal and would be a good boyfriend.
then, when the time seems right, ask her out!
2007-02-03 14:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by ♫Asian Sensation™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't.............everybody gets dumped. And you will dump somebody one day too. It just happens
2007-02-03 14:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by Nagitar™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know.
2007-02-03 14:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect her... and make sure u approach her right...
2007-02-03 14:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by I Love Ryan .S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE YOURSELF
2007-02-03 14:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by darkangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋