do you spank your children? should I go with my parents did?

Question

whenever we did something wrong we had a family meeting after talking about it we decide about physical dicipline for instance my sister one time got spanked for 45 minutesfor coming late ...and every single member of family should contribute ,one at a time, in this discipline and spank or cane the "bad" person... we are still getting spanked , my sister is 26 and I'm 24... but we all turn out to be ok people,,,now you think is it really good way to dicipline since we are all college graduate, drug free...

my dad don't let us to live independtly so we should stay at home before getting married... I'm still getting spank if my parents think it is needed...

no,.with a special stick which was/still is my dad's closet, and we had to go on top of table in frog position and they hit you in butt not any other part of body

Answer 1

what an interesting way..I'm so gonna use it ... my kids are 8 and 10 ...where did he get the stick? can you buy it online? what was his rules, 45 min for coming late, how about when they are rude? I used belt but i can see stick is more effective..

Answer 2

I got spanked... I have been put in a position only one or two times in fifteen yrs (thankfully) of spanking anyone myself... I do not feel it "teaches" your family had/has meetings to discuss what was done and how to take measures for it to not happen in the future... and maybe why it is wrong, how to assist in correcting behavior etc.... that, I think is what helped you and siblings turn out "good people" all kids are... there are NO "bad" children.... the spanking was something you feared so it kept you in line maybe... but? the tool you are talking abou tis still fear... just ask yourself.... do you want your children growing up "afraid" of you? I would say the rest, talking it out openly as a family? that sound good keeps a family close and lines open... personally, I disagree with the spanking... I can remember after my father gave his talk and I was getting a spanking... all I could think was how I wish I was not so afraid to ask him... why do you think you can teach anyone to not hit... if you hit!
I definitely feel it is a violation of your personal rights as a person to be enduring punishments like that now.... is there any way you would be able to talk to him, and make him see that it is not how it should be? without getting a spanking/caning I mean... it is great that you are all doing well.. it shows your inner strength too though.. not just your parents....
food for thought...
to answer the easier of questions.... no.. do not carry on the caning... yes.. carry on the open lines of discussing things.... the more difficult of what to do about your situation? if you have an open line of communication? talk it over with your family.... see if your father is open to listening to you?
good luck
god bless

Answer 3

Umm if your parents spanked you for 45 minutes thats child abuse and hitting your child with anything other then a hand is abuse and leaving a mark is abuse.

When it comes to you being over 17 that is considered assault and your parents can be arrested for it.

I really think you and your sister need to contact the police and report everything that is happening now and what happened when you were children, they had no right to do what they did and are sorry excuse for parents who in my eyes should of never of had children.

Answer 4

I think 45 min. is a little more of a beating. But i dont see anything wrong with Spanking your child..with your hand. I dont like to see children being spanked with things like belts or switches or anything like that. In the bible it says spare the rod spoil the child. And I believe that 100%. Ive seen how some children act that were never spanked and its a shame to see such wonderful kids act the way they do just because they arent afraid of the punnishment they will get for misbehaving. I dont mean in anyway your child should be afraid of you but if you smack their butts a few times, they usually dont do what ever it was again. Good luck

Answer 5

WOW!!! I hope this is a sick joke because if not your family has major problems and NO you should not repeat it with your kids. THAT IS NUTS!

I think spanking may have it's place in punishment but a 45 min spanking with all family members participating is going WAY too far. There are more productive ways to discipline your kids.

Answer 6

I am going out on a limb and guessing you do not live in the USA . . . your parents would be in prison. Although we do have some primitive cults and polygamists living in some areas (are you from one of those ?)
That is child abuse / assault and battery AND here that gets you jail time in quick order.
There are college graduates (drug free) that go to prison for sociopathic behaviors, theft , pedophilia and a lot of crimes. There is more to life than drug free college.

Being a good person also involves NOT beating people, NOT being violent and your family is totally derelict there. . . they are sick and should seek help immediately.
But this may not be available in your country, and for that I am sorry.

Answer 7

I think you shold ask them not to do someting or do something once if no responce ask again .. then if nothing warn them that they will be spanked if they dont obey and If still nothing.. then be consistant and spank then as neccasary......my mother in law has 9 children and all well behaved.. respectfull, happy children that obey there parents and respect themm... I dont think the half of you know what its like to raise one child let alone 9 so I think that you give the child the option to be spanked...

Answer 8

I'm sure there are plenty of good kids who have come out of non spanking or spanking homes. That said, we weren't spanked and the kids in my family are not only EXTREMELY close to our parents and each other, but are also educated (as you said about yours) one is a doctor, one's almost a doctor (and has a law degree) and one has successful businesses. We're drug and alcohol free and all have successful marriages and driven and disciplined kids.
The best thing I think about not spanking your kids is this: Kids who are not spanked tend to have (with exceptions of course) higher self esteem and won't do something wrong when the spanker isn't going to find out, because that kid has learned to think rather than fear.
that's my opinion with the caveat that there are exceptions to each category. Loving them and being consistent with them are the most important things, but I'm glad you're questioning doing the same to your kids.

Answer 9

My father spanked me 2 times ever.
once for lying and once for stealing.
My brothers and I had a lot of respect for him because we knew the rules, we knew we deserved what we got, and today I wish he had spanked me for the tantums.

Our mom however, the rules were not clear, it was incosistent and the spanking endless. We had no respect for her, my brothers did not listen and my brother is still mad at her 30+ years later.

With my icd son I only spank once per but cheek in order to get his attention.
Other than that it is 8 minute time outs or loss of priveledges.

Children need rewards and consequences.

Answer 10

I don't know it kind of sounds weird. If my mom or dad tried to spank me now (I am 27) I would feel a little creeped out. My mom and dad spanked us as kids only if we really had it coming to us and only with their hand on our butts. I use this method with my kids and I think they are pretty good kids, they know how to push my buttons but they also know when my husband and I have had enough.

Answer 11

I struggle to understand this. What you have described is child abuse. 45 minutes is beyond discipline, its abuse. Why on earth are you still getting spanked? Has this become a fetish for you? If you are a college graduate why are you still living at home? I think you need to get counseling and away from your situation. Family meeting or not, this is wrong and beyond anything I can understand.