Ladies Please Help Me!!!! I need your assistance?

Question

Hi I'm 25, I've had difficult relationships in my life. I'm a very nice person and when I'm in a relationship I give it all, all of my relationship has ended in disaster and I've had to end them, I get hurt a lot because I've gone as far as buying expensive clothing and even a car at one point to some one. Woman don't seem to appreciate that and stick with me... is there something wrong with me? I'm a good looking guy and I give girls everything but I always get done wrong... Will I ever find the right one?

Answer 1

Its sounds like you are doing too much - and these women are using you. Find a woman who will be with without these big gifts. I personally love the little things rather that the big gifts. For example one time by boyfriend showed up at my practice for no reason but to bring me Gatorade. it was great. You don't need or want a girls who is going to use you because of your gifts.

Answer 2

Gifts are nice, but sometimes it takes more than a gift to show a woman you care. I can't say because I don't know all the details, but I see a lot of guys who think that they can buy women, and that gifts say I love you better than time, attention, understanding, affection, and communication. So these guys are giving all of these things... but still not give the woman what she needs and wants most.

A little rule of thumb,... if you offer to buy woman an expensive pair of shoes very early on and she doesn't try to tell you no, or that they're too expensive... you probably have a woman on your hands that you don't need. Some women are out there looking for a man to pay her rent. (Just don't let the actions of a few lead you to believe that most women are gold diggers.)

Another issue is that you might seem like you're easy to walk over, thus hard to respect in the way that you should be, if you're giving too much too soon. But like I said, I don't know the situations, so I can't really say.

Don't break the bank on a girl too early. I'm not saying take her to McDonald's and buy her a happy meal. =-p Do as you like. But personally, a man shouldn't be trying to buy my clothes unless we're practically married! And if a girl is out the gate asking you to buy her things, you might consider telling her "if you can't afford to get it yourself, then you probably don't need it."

Pay attention early on to a woman's respect for you. And you might want to look at the past relationships... jot down notes... and set your standards and expectations. What you need, want, and can't deal with. And of course never forget that communication is all important. Make use you communicate and require that your girl do the same.

A lot of time relationships end because people are so busy reacting to one another that they don't take time to communicate with one another.

LOL... that's all I have. Best wishes!

Answer 3

Don't worry you will find the right one some day. Don't take this personally but it sounds like the girls you've been getting with are using you for stuff. Try not to give them every thing they want real soon. Next time your in a relationship go slow. Buy them stuff, just not real expensive stuff. Right then anyway. I'm a girl and i would love my guy to buy me alot of expensive stuff, but not at the beginning of the relationship. It would make me think there real desperate to keep me ( no affense). Just wait a couple months then start to by them expensive clothes. But not alot. Just like some every month or so. Only cause you need money for other things too. I wish the best of luck to you. And you will find that some one soon!

Answer 4

Don't worry, you seem a great guy and I'm sure miss right will appear soon. What I suggest is that before falling in love with your heart, fall in love with your mind. This means that you should choose a woman that has some things in common with you, a woman mature enough to understand you and to make you feel happy too. I agree with that lady that says that a good idea would be to try changing a little bit your taste, maybe with that you'll find a better woman!!!

I would also say that you should slow down on relationships, but not that much! Maybe some gifts are cool, on special dates special gifts like expensive clothing or jewelry, but don't give us women everything because then many girls think they've got you in their hands and then hurt you. Make sure you go slow on the gift thing but not that much!!! Try to surprise your woman with nice things like roses or something like that, not with cars because then you'll face what i've told you.

Good luck and I hope you feel better!!

Answer 5

Maybe you should stop giving so much to these chicks before they're willing to commit to a serious relationship. Sounds to me like they're just using you ,because you are such a nice, and giving guy. You probably wear your heart on your sleeve & that's not good because it attracts the wrong kind of person. Be nice but hold back some & let them do some nice things for you. Don't give your all Emotionally, or materialistically in the beginning of a relationship. You only end up getting hurt & dumped on. There's some nice young lady out there who will appreciate you & deserve every wonderful thing you do for her, but you won;t find her by giving away your all until ,she's proven herself worthy.

Answer 6

Yes. The saying "There is someone out there for everyone" is relatively true. Buying a car for someone is huge. Maybe too huge and that might be what happened. Some women believe that when a man extends so much, it's really serious, and maybe some of the women you've dated, didn't want that. They may have been looking for something casual, and buying them a car, doesn't seem casual. Women are definitely a hard and complicating subject (As are men), but there is really no "right" way to be with someone. You will find someone who appreciates what you do for them. First you should ask yourself "why did these relationships not work? What went wrong?" Then you should ask yourself "What did she do, and what did I do?" Then once you've figured that out, ask yourself what you are looking for. There will be someone who matches. It may take some time to find her, but you will.

Answer 7

You will definitely find "the one" soon, everyone has a match made for them and I'm sure yours is out there. By reading your little description you sound like a very nice person, I just think you're going for the wrong girls maybe? They sound more of golddiggers to me, I mean you be so kind and get them something and then they take it and leave? No effence by the way. But stop buying them things so early, you don't even know them that well to do that, they'll take advantage of you. I'm not saying all girls are like that but some are. Maybe try going solo for a while, and who knows you may just find "the one" sooner if you're free!
Goodluck!
P.S= It's not your fault they leave you, I mean who wouldn't want to have a caring boyfriend?

Answer 8

It's nice that you're so generous with your money, but are you living beyond your means to please someone? Girls like to be treated like princesses, but it doesn't always mean having the most expensive things. Are you really buying these things to replace time or love that you can't give to a girl? Any girl worth having would see right through that and not want to be with you.
If you think this is your problem, try paying a lot of attention to the girl you're dating. You don't have to take her to the most expensive restaurant, just to the one she likes the most. You on't have to take her on trips around the world, just to the special places she's always wanted to go. Listen to her when she speaks. Do things out of kindness. You won't always be able to give your full attention to a girl, but you need to put a lot of time into relationships. They're like plants. You need to spend a lot of time caring for them until they grow strong enough roots to stand a little less caring. You can't make up for not enough watering one day by too much watering the next, and even when the plant is mature, if you don't water it sometimes, it will still die.

Answer 9

It seems that women are taking advantage of you. Never buy expensive things if you are not married. Its just not a good thing to do, now if you are engaged that can turn bad also, don't tell women about the car purchase that just makes you look silly and of course you will find the right woman, it just takes time to get to know how the person really is, you need time. Take care Heather

Answer 10

WOAH BOY!!!! Pull back on the reins!!!

No-one here is doubting that you are not a nice person, nor an attractive man!!! But it sounds like you're giving them everything straight up. Would you hand the trophy to an ice skater before he or she had finished the ice dance?? No!

Hold some back...sure..spoil them if you want...but make it little things.. like a set of earrings here...or a romantic picnic there...leave the big stuff (expensive clothes or cars) for AFTER you're married!!!

We girls are simple creatures...and a little thing occasionally, works better than big things often!!!

Happy searching!!!!