If a guy is using you why would he?

Question

People are telling me that I am being used because I am in a long distance relationship (new - 3 months) with a man who had been seeing someone also long distance before me and has not broken it off yet. Both relationships are sexual. I am hoping he will break off the other relationship without my having to ask him and am giving him time to make sure I am who he really wants. I know we should not have been sexual but if just happened. We have a great time together. If he is using me then why does he call me every day and get involved in every aspect of my life? Doesn't that mean that he must have real feelings for me and plans to work on the relationship as though it has a future - even though he hasn't broken it off with her yet? I mean if he was just using me why would he show some much interest and waste so much time every day showing me that he cares? It does hurt me that he hasn't ended it with her but I am hoping he will soon. Doesn't he sound serious about me?

Answer 1

I think you could just be hoping... he could be spending all that time talking to you so you'll think exactly how you're thinking... he might want you to think that he's going to break up with her, that he's really interested in your life, and that he really cares about you... but when it comes down to it, he's having sex with two girls. He might not break it off with her and keep you thinking that he's going to, just so he can have his cake and eat it too... I think that's how a lot of girls get used and allow it, b/c they think it's going to change.

Answer 2

You should take the initial action and ask him if he really cares and feels for you. Tell him how you feel about the other relationship he has. It is difficult to work on a relationship if you think it doesn't have a future. It will get more and more difficult to see it as a positive thing so ask the questions before you get too attached and end up being more hurt of the out come if it should come to that. Make sure you are being honest in the relationship and let him know what you need. If he can't satisfy you and only you then he is not worth your time no matter how much fun you have... cause he still has another night to look forward to with the other girl. Plus in a multiple partner relationship there is the chances of spreading STDs if you are not careful enough. Hope this helps you in your decision making.

Answer 3

If you choose to proceed with this relationship the way it is I would use a great amount of caution.......starting with the basics: him having sex with another person puts you at risk for disease (even the best protection doesn't always work) he could be looking for something you have and lulling you into a false sense of security........he might just want his cake and eat it too!!! Even if you told him to break off the other relationship being long distance how would you really know? Finally can your heart take what sounds like you are just a part time lover? Has he indicated that this relationship wouldn't stay long distance? If you/he are going to move is there I time line? Not likely with the short time you two have been together, Bottom line take care of #1...........you already know what your heart is telling you.

Answer 4

Hi,i am a guy,and,believe me,your being used.He spends "so much time wanting to hear every aspect in your life"because in the end he has a little semen receptacle that he only has to put time(NOT $)into.I would bet everything i own he has more than 1 other girl he is playing.To hear u talk about a relationship is INSANE.
Either except the fact that YOU turned yourself into a sex toy,he relates to u that way,and it can never change.You are pretty sad.

Answer 5

He has the same feelings for you that he had for the last one, and they're the same feelings that he'll have for the next one that he's fishing for now. Why do girls think they know all about feelings but always fall for this? Not that it's much of a loss. You really can't object to how you get used since you're eager to get between him and the other girl. So there isn't anything wrong with him that isn't just as wrong with you.

Answer 6

Just because he's calling you and giving you attention it doesn't necessarily mean that he's into you like you think. Maybe he just wants more sex and of course he has to pretend to be interested to get more. If you guys don't see each other because you're long distance, then maybe he's talking to you because if it doesn't work out with the current one, you'll be his fallback plan. But do you really want to be a standby? please. Find a guy that will give you more attention and don't wait around for anyone.

Answer 7

he may very well care about you. but- are the 2 of you on the same page? does he understand that you want the relationship to be exclusive? plenty of men would continue along the same path if they could. perhaps ,if he understands that you are not dating anyone else, and that you would like for him to stop seeing anyone else,then thats all he needs to hear. he maybe waiting on you to tell him this. theres only one way find out. set things right by having a heart to heart with him. dont fear loosing him. best wishes

Answer 8

Hon he is using you. He wants his cake and eat it too. If you are willing sit him down and talk this out with him. You will be able to realize if he is for real from the way he talks to you. If he refuses to use eye contact that is a very bad sign. Get rid of him and find someone who really cares. Take care Heather

Answer 9

WELL i PERS0NALLY AM N0T A FAN 0F L0NG DiSTANCE RELATi0NSHiPS, BUT FR0M PERS0NAL EXPERiENCE WHEN A MAN iS ALREADY iN A RELATi0NSHiP && BRiNGS Y0U iN T0 THE PiCTURE. HE iS N0T G0iNG T0 BREAK iT 0FF WiTH THE 0THER GiRL. S0RRY T0 SAY BUT Y0U ARE JUS THERE T0 CARRY 0UT, LETS SAY, LUST FiLLED NEEDS. iM S0RRY T0 BE S0 BLUNT , BUT THiS iS WHAT iT iS. HE D0SEN`T CARE AB0UT Y0U && EVEN TH0UGH iT MAY SEEM LiKE iT , TRUST ME iT`S ALL APART 0F THE GAME. THEY CALL Y0U, SAY THiS && THAT, SPEND TiME WiTH Y0U . TRUST MEH iT W0N`T H0LD UP F0R L0NG , HE`S JUS D0iNG WHAT iS NESSECARY T0 GET Y0U WHERE HE NEEDS Y0U T0 BE , THEN ALL 0F THiS iS G0iNG T0 END. THEN Y0U WiLL FEEL H0RRiBLE F0R FALLiNG F0R iT iN THE FiRST PLACE. SAVE Y0URSELF THE HEARTACHE BABYGiRL. FiND Y0URSELF A G00D MAN iN Y0UR T0WN , AND HAVE FUN F0RM THERE =]

Answer 10

Well he could be useing you. Or he might not. Its a hard question. He doing other things with the other person like he does with you. If he is he useing you. But if he is not well I dont know. Only thing I can tell you is that you should tell him that he is going to break it off with her or you are going to lose me.