Do u think that its a good idea to change religion when u get married?

Question

Me and my bf want to get married later down the road..but im catholic and hes a jehovahs witness and as you all know..they have very different beliefs..and they dont celebrate holidays at all..and i never thought it was a big deal..until now that im in a serious relationship with my boyfriend..because when we have kids i wont be able to celebrate birthdays or mothers day or fathers day and christmas..etc..but my family still does..and they dont want me to change religions..and my boyfriend has told me that in order for our relationship to work ..is for us to think the same way and we cant if we have different beliefs..i need opinions please! :(

Answer 1

The Scriptures clearly instruct a true worshipper to marry only another true worshipper. Tens of thousands of Catholics convert to Jehovah's Witnesses each year, while the reverse is almost completely unheard of.

(Exodus 23:32) You are not to conclude a [marriage or other] covenant with them or their gods.

(Deuteronomy 7:3) And you must form no marriage alliance with [unbelievers]. Your daughter you must not give to his son, and his daughter you must not take for your son.

(1 Corinthians 7:39) She is free to be married to whom she wants, only in the Lord.

(Nehemiah 13:25) You should not give your daughters to [the unbeliever's] sons, and you should not accept any of their daughters for your sons or yourselves.

(2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.

Answer 2

It all depends on what's important to you. Just be aware that once you make a decision, you can't blame anyone but yourself, and you'll have to stick to it. If you can totally see yourself never celebrating holidays down the road and sincerely adopting the new beliefs, then changing religions will not be a problem. But if you feel that it is not something you'd like to do, then you have to make a decision to look for a person whos beliefs are more compatible with yours. He is not the last guy on earth, you can always find someone else whom you will be happier with. You don't need to give up a big part of yourself to be in a relationship. I personally would never ever consider "changing religions", I simply avoid getting involved with people whos beliefs are different than mine; it would be an absolute deal-breaker for me.

Answer 3

It's a tough call and a tough situation. You two probably and hopefully knew about one another's religions before you got serious.
To you it was no big deal, to him it is and he is asking you to give everything up for him and to join his church. To me that is a bit selfish. I am sorry I don't mean to sound cruel or mean. He should love you for who you are and not just your religion.

I would suggest backing off a bit. I know it's going to be hard, but you need to think about your future. You need to think about your family and your children's futures as well.

If you are having these sorts of problems now, then imagine what it will be like when you are married.

Don't change your life for him. You need to do it for you. If that's how you want to live, then do it, but it sounds to me like if you made that choice you would be unhappy and I am sure you would because you were raised differently

I hope the best for you. I would be having a serious talk with him. If he cannot accept what it is that you believe in, then I would suggest that he finds someone that has his same beliefs.

Answer 4

I wouldn't change religious beliefs unless I felt them myself. Changing a religion is NOT like changing your blue jeans, or getting a new pair of glasses. Especially when you're talking converting from Catholicism to becoming a Jehovah's Witness. If you don't believe it, it's not going to work. If you're a devout Catholic, and he's a devout J.W., it's just not going to work. If you were Baptist and he were Methodist, you could probably make it work, but there's just a huge doctrinal difference here. It will cause all sorts of problems down the line, not only with future children, but between you guys. Your boyfriend is right, the only way for your relationship to work is for you guys to share this belief in common. Now it's your turn, if you can honestly, in your heart, say you believe his doctrine, then by all means remain in the relationship, and tell your family you're converting. But PLEASE make sure you believe, and you'd do this regardless of your boyfriend. If you do it to keep him, yeah, you'll keep him temporarily, but in the long run, you'll lose him. If you can't honestly convert, then you need to let him go, and find someone with whom you share a common belief. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I think that if your boyfriend truly loves and respects you as a person he should not expect you to conform to his beliefs. Its one thing to start to think the same gradually, and make decisions together. Its another thing to be forced to believe something (or pretend to believe something) in order for someone else to feel comfortable. I mean, common, we're not living in Nazi Germany here, right? You have every right to keep your religion and your faith. Religion isn't race, you aren't just stamped at birth. Its something that you believe in and have faith in. So how could you ever truly conform to his religion if you don't truly believe in it. If you are truly a catholic with strong beliefs in that religion, stick with it. If your boyfriend loves you, he'll stick with you despite your decision. Just because you're female doesn't mean that you should have to sacrifice your beliefs for a man. That was what the women's movement was all about!!! I hope this shed some light on your situation. Ask God for guidance in your decision, maybe he'll be able to guide you towards the correct path as well.

Answer 6

This is something that you have to weigh carefully, even when dating someone - in case things get serious, as you are finding out. It is difficult to change religions, especially in your case, since the two are so totally different. I made sure the guy I got most serious about was the same religion and heritage as me, because they were important to me, and would be especially crucial with the raising of children.
You and your guy have some serious talking to do.

Answer 7

These are two very different religions indeed. Are both of you practicing them heavily? If he is I am surprised that he dating you because they are normally taught to date within their own religion. So trust me I think it would be a subject that comes up often, because they are very strong minded in their beliefs. The real trouble may come in when you have children.

Answer 8

There is much more to religion than holidays. I am Baptist and I know something of other religions and I don't see how either one of you would be happy in the others religion. Who is going to change theirs ?? They are so different. If your faith is important to you then I suggest you seek counsel somewhere and to tell you the truth I have no idea where. Good Luck, Your going to need it.

Answer 9

your marriage won't work if you both can't respect each other different beliefs. My mom was a JW and my father was not. He didn't celebrate anything. But my dad still respected her and she had to every so often not say anything when he took us out treat or treating. I guarantee that if you try to change to be a JW you will miss all the perks of not being one. (bdays, xmas)

Answer 10

I'm Catholic too and i understand your situation. Honestly, if you love each other enough, you can live with each other. But in my personal opinion, God is more important, and I think that you shouldn't be the one to change your beliefs. Seriously...don't change your life because of someone else, even if you love him.