My ex and I started dating 8 months ago. I was his first girlfriend (he and I are both 25) and his "first". We would never fight, and we had everything in common. Recently, his married friends started telling him that he was "next", meaning he would be married soon. I know he is not ready for that, and neither am I, but it freaked him out. When he dumped me, he said he didn't see us as long term, but two days before he was joking about what kind of engagement ring he wanted to buy me. We had talked about moving in together, but not for at least 6 months or more in the future.
I was devestated when he broke up with me, and I am having trouble dealing with it. His mother (whom with he is extremely close) emailed me and said "I don't want to give you false hope, but I don't think this will be the last you hear from him."
It's been 2 weeks now, and I tried to call him, but I got his voice mail. He will not call me back, or answer any of my texts. I miss him a lot. What do I do?
2007-02-03 13:11:32 · 17 answers · asked by A42381 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's scared. At 25, he cares about you but doesn't know if he should want to be committed. He feels like he has his life ahead of him and doesn't know if he wants to be tied down.
Men joke about things they are serious about. He may have been gauging your reaction, and perhaps was put off by your reaction.
Don't phone him. Let him cool off. Don't contact him at all. Try and live your life as normally as possible (without him). He'll come back around.
Don't take offence, but perhaps he's freaked out more because you keep trying to contact him. Just cool it, and he'll be back. I promise.
-E
2007-02-03 13:17:26 · answer #1 · answered by ♠Gotham♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and live your life. Don't wait for him. If he really truly totally wanted you, he would not be freaking out, if indeed, that was the problem.
If he freaked out, then clearly he is not ready anyway.
There is nothing you can do to change him. It's terribly sad when the one we love does not want the same thing, but there is a reason for everything. This is not a reflection of you darlin, this simply means he wanted something different out of life. He can indeed still love you, but not want marriage, living together etc.
Someone will come who is ready for the real thing.
It wasn't fair of his mother to tell you that. That was not in her right to do that to you. Maybe he will come around again, but you have to take his actions at face value.
You sound like a bright and loving young woman. Allow yourself some grieving time. It's ok to be sad. Try to find something to be happy about, a higher purpose etc. You will be alright and will survive this. Just keep remembering there is a reason for everything under the sun.
Best wishes!
2007-02-03 13:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by kallie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well love can be very complicated . So your his first girlfriend so he is probably not really used to having a girlfriend or the commitment to a woman like this. First relationships hate to say don't always last . He is probably going through a lot and just give him a little space for a while and then see what happens from there.
2007-02-03 13:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sonia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine did the same for me I thought we would never break up since he told me that,and a week later his closets friends told me he dumped me.I felt used and sickened for days,I still like him but will never go back out with him if he asks,I talked to one day after the break up and he said he only broke up because I never called him,But he told before never to call his house so I just was like whatever and he is going out with other girls,What I am trying to say is text him or message him and ask why and tell him how you felt since he told you he loved you,or just go over to his house and ask him in person,but if you really want attection text him and say your coming over and he'l have to message you back if there is another girl over you will see her or he might tell you not to come over whitch means he has another girl over and he don't want you to meet her.
2007-02-03 13:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is Nothing, you can do..
This is where he decides to either get married or back out. Moving in together is huge. Next step is marriage; so he is scared and needs to think.
2007-02-03 13:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends will do that to a relationship.... If you were the first..... Maybe he wants a second answer... Do not push him... YOU, look for somebody else..... The more you go to
him the futher he gets from you... If this is your first hurt... Hope that is all you have... Best of luck..
2007-02-03 13:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by t-boren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be he's gay,,, but not comfortable with it,,,Was there
any sexual contact between you guyz?
Sometimes gay guyz are in a straight clique, and sort of
in the closet still,,, They sometimes see girls(women)
to look normal,,, or fit in.
Don't be too pushy to contact him, a simple message
saying you'd like to see him again, please call me.
2007-02-03 13:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle rvk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep holding out and doing what your doing. im sorry. sometimes, most of the time, guys can be idiots. hopefully he will come to his senses really soon. good luck
2007-02-03 13:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Learning To Fly (again) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter.
2007-02-03 13:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by #1barnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to go to his house and ask him why u guys r over. If he tells you, maybe you will understand better and can sort things out.
2007-02-03 13:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Allie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋