What should I do when abusive step-child comes home?

Question

I have been punched, scratched, bitten, screamed and cursed at by my 12-yr-old step-daughter. My new husband (of 6 months) has the child staying with a family friend until June. I left my first marriage because I was abused for 7 years. Now I find myself in basically the same predicament. It didn't get better until I left the first time. So, if my new husband is going to allow this person to return to our home, even though we both know the abuse will continue and most likely escalate, then is my only other option to leave him (I have 5 children of my own to protect)?
Also, we tried to get her put into a respite foster home, she is in serious therapy through partial at school and home base. The cops don't care, they said get a no-hit PFA on her. I don't see how that will work when all it does is punish her afterward (she doesn't learn from punishments!!), it doesn't physically restrain her from touching me. So, any other options? Or should I cut my losses?

My husband restrains her when she does these things. He is the one who sent her out of our home the last time. He says he won't allow it and it won't happen again, but after living in a previous marriage of the same nature, I know better. She will hit harder next time. And I have been having a recurring nightmare since August, where she stabs me while I'm sleeping. My husband isn't exactly willing to find her another permanent living arrangement, but he is at least aware of the situation. He has convinced himself that he is "abandoning" her. I am trying to convince him that he is doing what is right for her, him, and the rest of us.

Her mother is re-married to some fool, and has a problem with illegal drugs (crack and heroin). My step-daughter said the mother has sent her to trick for the mom's goods. Sadly, my step-daughter is UBER manipulative, and I don't necessarily believe everything she says. We did, however, report to Children and Youth and the police, who have done nothing except exxonerate the mother. There is also speculation that this child isn't biologically my husband's (according to many people!). The law doesn't care even if that's true, because he has been raising her, and has had custody for 3 years.

Answer 1

Maybe it is time for an evaluation to see if she needs a lock down facility. It sounds like she has some emotional issues going on in her that needs to be addressed by professionals not through school they are not trained to deal with these types of issues. It is not abanding her it is getting her the help she needs now to deal with her life later on.

Answer 2

Press charges on her the next time she touches you physically. She can go to juvie and from there she can be placed in foster care if that is what is needed at the time. It's time your husband stepped up to the plate and set some ground rules also. He can't allow her to abuse this way. It's not fair to you.

Answer 3

no longer some thing develop into your fault. in case you may't comprehend that, then get some counseling. "#a million This guy, even although we lived together many years agao, under no circumstances pronounced marriage to me, even after having his newborn" apparently he didn’t imagine you've been the single he develop into meant to marry. Having a baby with him wouldn’t have replaced that. It stings I’m particular, yet you acquire to suck it up and take care of it. "#2 He develop right into a large part of why lets under no circumstances artwork, he cheated, he brough domicile VD two times, he develop into verbally abusive." then you truly're fortunate you didn’t marry him. You don’t pick someone like this on your existence. "#3 He would not seem to appreciate me because he did not tell me some thing about this" the actual incontrovertible truth that he did not inform you about his marriage does no longer recommend he doesn’t appreciate you, no matter if in retaining with #2, I doubt he does, yet that doesn’t recommend you aren’t *deserving* of appreciate. could he have advised you? it may were positive, yet in retaining together with your positioned up, i ask your self if the clarification he did not inform you develop into because he develop into petrified of your emotional reaction. get over him. end blaming your self. in case you pick help doing those issues, then get it.

Answer 4

you added some stuff except where is her mom? If she is with you and her dad isn't trying to help, then you might have to cut your loses. I'd say tear her a new hole to let her know you mean business the next time she comes at you. this is bad for your children too. If they see her handling you like that they might think that its ok for them to do it too...

Answer 5

how come ur hubby don't protect u