my boyfriend cheating?

Question

Hello I am a 26 year old women I just broke up with my boyfriend and I am about to go crazy can somebody please HELP. H and I have been friend for 4 years until we decided to take our friendship to the next level this past summer, since than we have been dating for 7 months unfortunately things didn't work out; I now lost my best friend and my first love. H. was my very first boyfriend he also took my virginity, I was in love with him every since we were friend he was the best thing that ever happen to me until this week-end. To make a long story short I just recently find out that the love of my life was cheating on me I have been in such a shock since I found out I can’t even go on with my daily life I have been in bed crying for a week now please help.

Answer 1

Hun get up, get moving, and do what you have to do to move on with your life. You're 26, still incredibly young and capable of finding someone new. The likelihood that your friendship with this loser will heal, is really very slim. Besides he lied to you he doesn't deserve your trust or your friendship.

I love the saying "No man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry." He doesn't deserve you putting your life on standstill. I'm not saying it's wrong to hurt or to cry about it at all because you're human and the guy f'ked you over. But don't let your pain deny you the ability to do great things for yourself and your future.

Not all guys are assholes you just unfortunately ended up dealing with one.

Answer 2

Same here!! i know how Ur feeling! i sort of left the phase of crying & sulking. Now im more in the stage were i can move on but he is in my daily thoughts etc but its normal its so many memories and things u both have shared!! I just posted a similar question so check out my answers too they where really good!!
Basically: go out... be with friends ... family .... do something u would never normally do like a hobby or something [anything spontaneous] trust me it works ... ive been better since & this happened approx 6 months ago and i was with him 5 yrs and were friends 3 yrs b4 that so ive known him all my teen life! :S But hey u learn from all this and one thing u realize is life goes on!

If he was cheating on u! Well look am sure someday they'll do that to him and he will find out how it feels like! So, at the end of the day its going to be in his concious for his life for wot he miht have done to u! U really do learn from these things and in turn makes u a stronger person as time goes by.
Now u need some U time... dnt go searching for some1 else to 4get about him etc ....it wont work u feel worse... let them come to u!!
Just wait and see!! Hope u cheer up , be brave & chin up! btw chocloate helps XD
Muai xxx

Answer 3

Hi I am a mum of daughters slightly older than you and hope you don't groan at me answering you? If so just don't read, I won't know and not be offended. You are very, very special that didn't loose your virginity until recently and this must more than anything add to your hurt??? I or no one can give you the answers. Sorry to perhaps add to your hurt but was he cheating and wanted someone else? Was he cheating and is truly sorry? If it's for the first reason there is no going back. At this moment you are devastated and I or nobody will convince you that one day it will get easier but it will. If it was the second reason, listen to him and decide if he is truly sorry. Give him one more chance but I tell your now ONE MORE CHANCE no more, I am now speaking as a trained counsellor which I am. Everyone deserves a second chance and he could have learned his lesson but you are too good to put up with a load of s*** from him so don't waver on this one. I wish you all the very best and leave everything in your hands which I am sure are more than capable. With very best wishes wherever you are from Scotland.

Answer 4

I found a book that is so helpful. Here's a bit about it. I think it would help you sweetie. Love yourself! One day you'll see he is the one who has lost out! God bless you!


There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken, or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works! Because the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one. So open up this book, and let’s dive in—our goal is to help you turn your breakup into the event that changes your life for the better in ways you never dreamed possible. It’s not an end, it’s a beginning! It's not an end, it's a beginning! After all . . . you are a Superfox.

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-*** pity party, Greg and Amiira share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. They give advice on:

• Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
• How to keep your friends and not lose your job
• How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, having sex with your ex
• Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
• How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken gives you everything you need to get over him and make the right decisions along the way. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, this is a straight-talking, spot-on, must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.

http://www.randomhouse.com/broadway/breakup/itscalledabreakup.htm

Answer 5

i know its hard. Been there. Its the worst feeling there is all jumbled into one lump in your stomach.
Can you still be with him now knowing what you know? But at the same time can you stand being away from him?
I hope you can work this out. How long had he been cheating? Was he drunk? Was it a one time thing? Can you forgive him? It sounds to me like you had a long relationship based on friendship so you two must have been close. Maybe this is something you can work out, but if not, get yourself up out of the bed, dust yourself off, and get back out there. Show him that this didn't get you down. Confining yourself to bed isn't going to make it go away. A week of crying, seems like you need to call him. And if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with.

Answer 6

My first boyfriend did similar to me. It was a bit different, we were engaged to be married and I found out 7 weeks before our wedding date, plus we were together 5 years...he was my high school sweetheart. I didn't cry though...I just got mad and got my "revenge" by enjoying life. At first is was difficult...he was always on my mind. So, I just thought I would do things to make him "mad" (even though he had no idea) at how easily I got over it, although I didn't. Like, I would flirt and go on dates and even though he didn't know, I pretended he was watching me, regretting his terrible way he treated me. So - this may sound stupid, but in the beginning I was just "pretending" to have fun, to make him "jealous" but after pretending for a little while I started to actually have fun and I thought of him less and less. Now I am glad I didn't settle for my first boyfriend and I got to enjoy the dating scene. Although dating is rough, it's a ton of fun. Don't look for a boyfriend/potential husband as so many people do when dating. Have fun! When the right one comes along to be your boyfriend and eventually husband, and he will come along, you will know in your heart that he is the one. Don't rush things...just remember that. All of my friends that have had the worst relationships have been because they were rushed...like...committed too early, moved in together, had sex, got knocked up, etc. Those ones RARELY work out in the long run.

Answer 7

Ah bless your white socks. I have found that time is a great teacher and healer. As with seasons, so are relationships. It's hard and heartbraking. Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate that you're alive and if it helps that you have people on Yahoo! Answers giving advice along the way. Read their advice and make up your own mind. You know your situation best. Good luck. What difference will this make 5 years from now if you're snuggled up with the man of your dreams?

Answer 8

From what it sounds like, youre a pretty strong woman. You need to remember that you cant let a man be your downfall. We all fall in love with someone and it may not turn out the way we planned. This experience can only make you stronger. Lying in your bed crying isnt going to make this go away. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him how much of a bastard you think he is but either way youre still going to love him to the end. Like i said, you CANNOT let a man be your downfall. Let this be just another chapter in your life because now its time to turn the page....hope i kould help!!!!

Answer 9

it is so easy to say that you just need to get over him.its the how thats tough.in your case, it is especially tough, because of the special history you have with him. the void is a big one. and the betrayal is bitter. it is completely understandable,and quite common to go to bed and not go out for a while. at this point,the hurt is too recent and too fresh to think about moving on. but you will. and know this- millions of people have been where you are now. and alot of them emerged better than before the hurt. when things this devastating happen, we have to use the very best qualities we have in order to overcome. we have to develop skills we may never have had to use before. and we take these things with us for the rest of our lives.you will never be the same, but you can be better.you are going to have to find a place in your mind and heart to put this where you can put it in a perspective that will not allow you to become bitter.you will get over this, but i hope that you can think of him with some fond memories,and not just the pain. best wishes

Answer 10

There is no easy answer - it just takes time. Spend time with other friends and put some of your thoughts on paper. If you think you can trust him with some of your feelings, write a letter to him. If for some reason you change your mind, tear up the letter or keep it in a safe place to share with him when these problems are resolved.