What should I do about my boyfriends cocaine use?

Question

A year ago, my boyfriend injured his back, & it required surgery that required year + of recovery. He began hanging out with old friends & I began to suspect cocaine use. He began to constantly have a stuffy nose/cold, he has lost considerable weight, and his personality was different. It was true, & I pitched a fit, and told him to stop hanging out with his friends, and to stop using it. Today, he still has the runny nose and he is unwilling to stop hanging out with them, except he doesn’t hang out when I’m home. Thursday, he began to claim there were bugs in his hair. I want him out, but I’m his only income. I helped him apply for disability, and it will likely be approve this month. He continues to deny chronic drug use, but promises it’s only once a week or so. I am embarrassed to talk to my friends, and I would appreciate your help. Should I throw him out of our house? Or, should I wait a month for his disability to begin? Finally, Do you think I should call his family?

I've asked him to get help too, but he denies there is a problem.

Good News!! He has agreed to immediately stop all contact with his friends, and he will begin substance abuse counseling. It was tough to hold my ground, but I did it.

Answer 1

Yes you should call his family maybe they can help you help him. Like most drug users he will most likely deny his drug abuse to his family but with all of your help he could get help and if that doesn't work put his *** out, because if you are his only income when he does start getting his disability he more then likely will use the check on the crack or what ever he uses then you will still be stuck taking care of his ***. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Cocaine addictions can be really hard to deal with but the best you can do is to stick by him the whole time and offer support. An addiction can push people to do all kinds of things to get there hands on the stuff they'll lie, cheat, steal. If he won't admit he has a problem then you have to catch him at it. Tell him it's not ok and if he doesn't stop your gone. Get him to help or send him to rehab. Cocaine is really serious and could lead to something worse.

Answer 3

I have been right where are at sweetie. My husband was working all kinds of weird hours. He was hanging out with some odd folks. And we were going to this particular bar a lot. At first he started just using meth. Then he went to coke. I never used anything. I watched and just heard them sniff every 20-30 min a night. At work I would watch him go to the b-room every hour to take a bump. I would retreat to the bedroom just so would have to listen to it anymore. Eventually he began selling it.
But what he didn't realize is that he was sniffing his profits.
I wrote it all out for him. But his friend who knew that I was right said no its not like that.
I got pregnant, and about 3-4 months into the pregnancy as he was still doing his thing, we got evicted because he was spending his money on the dope.
We moved in with my mom. Immediately after wards he quit cold turkey. He went through withdrawals. But he is recovered after 5 years.
The thing that I realize now is this: If you are ever with him when he gets busted whether you haven't done it or not, you will be charged with possession or intent to sell a is a. You will spend time for his habit too.
I knew this but didn't realize it. I hope that makes sense. Are you willing to risk this?

Answer 4

It's obvious that the cocaine use had gotten so bad that he won't listen to just you anymore. Involve as many people into this as you can. Also, don't throw him out. Wait for the disability to be approved and continue to help him. It looks like you love him very much, and there's nothing that hurts more that an effort of love lost, so stay with him. Another thing, get him away from those "friends" of his! If they were real friends, they wouldn't let him keep messing with that crap. May I suggest professional help as well?

Answer 5

You can't just boot him out. Poor kid. Intervention would be a good choice to go with. If its been a whole year of use, its time to get help. Quiting an addiction like cocaine is very very hard. Hes just gonna use the disability loot on more blow. Family might not be a bad idea at this point.

Answer 6

Hi, well this is comeing from someone who has been through it, I was dating a guy and he was using cocaine I did not know until i was with him for about 3 months, then i found out and he actually cried to me and i found out this was a problem he had for years, the truth is i thought i would be able to help him, and boy did i try, I tried everything i could because i loved him and it hurt me so much to see him this way, and you know how us women always stay because we always think we can change them, well i did for 1 1/2 but then i realized something, and that was the only way he is ever going to stop was when he wanted to, and it doesent matter how much they tell you they are going to unless they want to they wont stop not for anything or anybody, so im sorry to say this but it might be better off to brake up with him and move on with your life before it gets harder, if you feel bad and want to wait for him to get the disabilty thats fine but if you stay in a realationship with him your heading for bad news. i wish you the best of luck in which ever your dissicion is. good-luck, and remember you cant make someone do anything they dont want to.

Answer 7

throw out the bum. life isn't fair, moochairs are bastards, are you a SUCKER???? Do you like to have anyone take advantage of you??? Drug abuse is drug abuse, but ppl who do drugs are loosers. Ppl who associate with junkies, are loosers. Don't be a looser!!!

Answer 8

You should call his family and do an intervention with them. If that doesn't help then kick him out.