I need help?

Question

I have been depressed & unable to control my emotions for the past 7 months, due to a bad breakup. I have been in therapy and also have been seeing a psychatrist. He has put me on several anti-depressants, but my body cant handle them, I get sick or feel worst then before.I dont know what to do anymore. I feel a lot of resentment towards him, I get sad and cry alot, then that fuels alot of anger, in which I dont know how to control. I feel helpless and have very low self esteem. There have been times where I feel I just dont want to be anymore. I dont know how to deal with these emotions, they can be very overwhelming. I have tried to be around positive people, I try to go out. But when I have a moment alone to think, it all comes rushing back. I figured time would help, but it hasn't.I feel alone, betrayed, devalued, and really sad about how it all happened, it was not my choice. What should I do?Can someone who can relate please tell me? Never had depression until this happened.

Answer 1

The factor you did not have depression before this, means you have situational depression and you do not need medicated. Medication isn't going to change what was and is going to mess with your body chemistry if you don't seriously need it.

This may sound a little mean, but realize I do not mean it to be mean.

When we hold on to hurt, anger, resentment, over something someone did to us or we feel was done to us, it leads directly to depression and doesn't harm the other person at all.

Why waste your time hating someone who isn't going to care if you are angry with him or not? It's only making one person miserable and that is you. I'm not saying iti's easy, but I've had a lot of experience with severe abuse, etc. and I wanted those who hurt me to pay, to change. Reality is, you will never ever change others, they have to desire to change for their own reasons. You can only change you.

Why hold on to someone who doesn't care? Remember the good you had with them. Look at it for the learning experience it has been. Then get out, enjoy others, find new people to be around. Look for a real man of honor. There is always another man out there---millions of them. Your self-esteem surely won't get better as long as you hold on to what you wanted, not what is. A therapist is never going to solve this problem for you, because it's about you accepting that it is over, that it doesn't manner how much you cared, it's not going to be again and it wouldn't be healthy for you even if you could get him back.

Really, let it go, fully let it go. Accept that it is, that the relationship is over and no manner how much you cared, that relationship is over. IF you must, spend one evening writing up everything that makes you angry, that you wish you could say to him. Then burn it in the fireplace or some other SAFE place. It will be symbolic of letting go and your mind will get the message. Then you write up a list of the good you had with that person and be thankful for it, but accept that you can have even better with someone else in the future. We learn and grown with each relationship, only if we can let it go fully when it's over. Hanging on only causes us pain and keeps us stuck in time.

Spend one entire evening looking at any photos of things you all did together, cry until you can't cry anymore. Then when you go to bed you say to yourself, out loud. I can't change what has happened. If I remain stuck and depressed no one, especially not me, wins. There will come other relationships and in time, when it's right for me, I will find someone to love and marry. Someone for whom I will be good for them and they will be good for me. Someone who knows what it means to honor and respect.

I will say, considering ending your life over lost love is sad. You have no idea what the consequences of such a horrible choice is. I have died and been brought back from suicide attempt. You won't like what's waiting for you, so don't do it. NO ONE IS WORTH killing yourself over and I mean NO ONE! If you go through life becoming totally depressed over every lost love, you'll waste the majority of your life living in a state of depression over how others treat you or you believe they have, including the break ups that come with all but the right relationship for each person. Then even once you find the person you want to be with in marriage, you one day will have to accept their death, as it's 50/50 they'll die before you and leave you behind.

Don't let a break up ruin your life!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Anti depressant pills all have long lists of side effects but many of those end up being "ghost" problems coming from your depression. The pills do not begin to work for two (2) to four (4) weeks and the side effects lessen as the pills begin to work. I went through about every pill available to find one that I would work with so you just have to be patient, go to counseling a lot while waiting for them to work. Side effects do all go away or your system learns to tolerate them. If you can tolerate them after a month, then that pill may work for you. If a pill absolutely will not work, you usually know between one and two weeks. Then I quit smoking and it threw my pills off and I am going through that again. I just go to counseling more often to get me through till I find another pill that works. Hope this helps and make sure to give each pill a fair try. You can tell the difference between one that gets a no and one you have to hang on and give it time before saying yes or no. Doctors start with the newest and most expensive pills to so you may have to have an older pill that costs less too. So far every time I change, I end up with an old pill as that new stuff just won't work. Women have more problems and they seem to be "female" related. Birth control pills may be the problem so you may have to do birth patch or something wlse in order to tolerate any pill. Tell the psychiatrist what you take and tell him to make changes if they conflict. That is part of why he gets paid more than just a counselor.

Answer 3

Mia I suffered from depression for several years and went back and forth on medications for a long time.

I am curious how old you are? If you below the age of 18 your even more likely to have adverse side effects from taking anti-depressants. The meds should be helping in not you probably need to try a different med or different type of treatment.

First and foremost though, please know you are valuable. Think about the people who have said something positive about you to your face. Now, I know you probably think they are lying, because I used to think that when I was depressed. But think a lot about this. There is NO WAY all those people are lying! People do say positive things about you because they really mean them.

Also you are extremely VALUABLE. The best solid piece of evidence I have for that is that God sent his Son to die for you. That means your worth quite a bit!

If you just want someone to talk with through this you can EMAIL me or IM me. I can't promise I will be a miracle in your life but I will do my best and will be someone who will listen to you and share with you.

Answer 4

Hi there, My partner and I have both suffered depression in the past. I still up to five months ago was overwhelmed by stress at work and sometimes at home. I also had a friend who had a 15 year old daughter who also suffered from depression and bad sleep habits. We were introduced to what is called the Nikken Sleep system. We are now all sleeping on this system. This has completely reversed the depression in the 15 year old and allowed her to sleep better. With us we are both more controlled and sleep fantastic each night. I also suggest that you write down all of your thoughts on paper, exercise really helps as well. Trust me we have been their and have reversed it. If not feel free to contact us, speaking to a complete stranger is sometimes better as they have an unbiased view.

Answer 5

Sweetie,
I don't even pretend to know how you feel. But I have had boughts of depression for years. My mom died in my arms while I was doing cpr on her. I have had seizures because of this and the doctors thought I had gone crazy. The mind is a powerful thing. You somehow have to get control of your mind and find something to replace the pain. I am not preaching to you but the Lord will help you with this pain, I know because He has for me. I am not saying I have forgotten but He has helped me. I am just human so I also have seeked medical help and this last medicine I am on has helped me more than any of the others. It does not make me feel bad and I never want to be without it again. The name of it is Lexapro and you need to ask your doc about information about it if you haven't tried it yet. No one thing helps everyone except the Lord though. You need to search and find the best answer for you. But you are special and unique and need to share your light with others.

Answer 6

The reason is because you "Think" you are the one that has problems. Nobody is perfect. If other people can't handle the fact that you are not perfect, screw them and move on.

Negative reinforcement is a result of your thinking and is contributing to the depression in a sort of "Viscous Cycle" effect.

I get the same way. I become really obsessed with something I can't have or do, until I feel sad about it. It is really difficult to move on with your life.

What you are doing is what people want you to do and you are allowing it to happen to you.

People will always try to drag you down. It's because they have been dragged down in the past. You must realize this.

They are passing their anger on to you. You are passing the anger on to other people when you get angry and upset. It's the old "Lay down with dogs and you get up with fleas".

It is best to just realize that it is their problem and not yours. You have better things to do with your time.

Block the thoughts of bad things and immediately think of something better.

Answer 7

go back to your psychiatrist and ask him to evaluate your meds, tell him the side effects you suffer from them and ask him if there is a combination you can take that will have lesser effect on you.

if you are not happy with your psychiatrist can you change to someone you'd feel more comfortable with?

there must be a support group in your area you can become a member of, where there are people in similiar situations that you can talk to confidentially, seek help, ask questions and share your problems with.

I hope things work out for you. Believe in yourself and love yourself. You are unique and deserve to be happy and get over this time in your life. Hang in there.

Answer 8

Keep trying different medications, there is one out there that will work for you, just don't give up. If the doctor you are seeing now doesn't seem to be helping you, then find another one. Try eating a healthy diet and get enough exercise and keep busy. Depression can be helped, just don't give up.

Answer 9

Pills often don't help a reaction to a real loss. I don't know if in your therapy you have found what this experience may hve reminded you of subconsciously of some earlier loss or abandonment. Reactions to loss of a loved one usually subside within a year. Keep staying active and raise these issues with your therapist.

Answer 10

well in 3rd grade i was very depressed im in 8th now.. u just eventually grow out of it. try to have fun! but most of all forget about the guy!! so let me break this down for u.. see if i got this right.... u are depressed because of a guy? hunnie u are going to let a guy makes your life misrable! there are more people in the world and oneday you are going to be happy that u broke up because u will find the one who you want to be with forever and forget all about that jerk. while u are here all upset he is out doing things and not even caring about you! so why should you care about him! i know its hard to get over but you gotta! let me ask you this.. do you want to feel this way for the rest of your life because of a single man! there is so much to life that you dont relize! go on vacation with some friends or by yourself just get away from everything and relax. try to meditate.. people say it gets rid of stress! but please dont go through life being misrable over a guy! they come and go.... and thats life.. but u only get one life and one chance to live it. you have billions of choices for boyfriends! but just rember you are not alone! if u need somone to talk to call someone you know but when you have time to think think of somthing good.. the glass is half full not empty... think of all the great stuff you could be doing right now.. camping playing sports hanging with friends going to the clubs football games anything! but insted you rather sit at home and cry. i know how you feel though depression really hurts but you gotta burn it all up in your mind and let it go! take a last day and just break stuff take a pictuer and spit on it then burn it! just get it all out. scream your heart out! but then move on! thats the only thing you can do! therapy wont help you like that because thats making you talk about your problems when u want to let them go! please take my adive i have sufferd from depression! i may only be 14 but i know my stuff! if you ever need to talk feel free to send me a message! you can get through this!