Why do dads lie?

Question

when i asked my dad if he was coming to see me yesterday he told me he'd be here by 6, when today came and he didn't I called to ask what happened and he told me he got stuck at work. I told him that was no problem, and that I just wished he had of called and told me so i wouldn't of waited on him. He told me I'll see you today at 3.....that was 4 hours ago....it's not looking good for the home team. Why can't he just tell me the truth? 14 and confused.

Answer 1

I can weigh in on this. My dad would tell me all kinds of lies. I think your dad knows you are still a child which makes you a priority. He knows he should not say no to a priority so he lies.

I can only speak from experience. When I was 12 years old, I began to realize that my dad was lying a lot. He lied about getting me into gymnastics, lied about taking me to Disney "before I get too big" then when I was like 14 he's like ..you're too big, he lied about coming to pick me up for outings and stuff. I could go on. Seriously. But I won't. I think that when you are really little as in12 and under, you are very trusting of your parents and you believe all the things they say..because you NEED them. But when you get older and more independent you realize that they are not perfect. They make mistakes, they fall back on promises and sometimes they lie.

If the lies and broken promises my dad made taught me anything, it showed me exactly why my mom left my dad. Why things are best the way they are. Perhaps your dad really did have to work, or perhaps he wanted to hang out with his friends or something but he doesn't want to tell you that.

My mom actually cursed my dad out for promising to come get me and then not showing up. It hurts your feelings and you get all worked up about it and then night fall comes and morning comes and ..nothing! Trust me I know the story well. My situation didn't get better. But I'm ok. I'm a stronger person for it. I grew up faster. I have my head on straight as compared to some of my friends who are the same age and don't have these situations to deal with and learn from. Keep your head up you'll get through.

Answer 2

First off let me tell you how sorry I am that you have to feel this way. As a parent, first off let me explain to you that even though we are Adults and should know better,we still make mistakes. We are not perfect, although some think they are. Maybe your Dad has so much going on at work and in his personal life, that he is feeling like he is being pulled apart like a piece of licorice. I am sure that your Dad wants you to have everything he never did and is working his tail off to provide this for you. Some parents dont know when or how to take a break,trying to keep up in this fast paced world. Why dont you let your dad know that you truely appreciate all that he is doing to provide for you, but what you would really love the most would be to spend some quality time with him,even if its just watching a TV show together for an hour. In this day and age sometimes, although sad, the kids must act like the adult, in order to get their parents attention. So go tell your dad, you need him, and dont take NO for an answer. Good Luck Sweetheart

Answer 3

Hi, I kinda understand what your going through in a way. My dad hasn't talked to me since I was 13, I'm 33 now. I do tend to see my dad every now and again, but me I'm very straight forward if something bothers me I go and ask the person, I feel what will it hurt right? It's hard to ask such a question to someone that you truly love but you need to ask him straight out, ask him why he keeps telling you he's coming and he doesn't show up, be serious tell him how it hurts when he doesn't come and ask him if he really doesn't want to come. The question that your looking for may hurt your heart and I certainly hope not but just ask for the honest truth, who knows this could open up his eyes to how you really feel, he has to hear your heart because if he doesn't know things are just going to remain the same. I have a good feeling about this and I feel that something very positive is going to come out of this for you, so give it a try and open up okay.

I wish you all the best of luck and take care okay!

Answer 4

Sometimes Dads can be such a pain in the a** (I know cause I have one, and I am one too!) I personally don't think he is intentionally trying to lie to you. I think he really tries to be there at the times he says he will, but because of other commitments, ends up not arriving when he says he will. Yes, I agree, he should call as soon as he can to let you know, but perhaps it was late by the time he was finished doing whatever it was that made him late in the first place. And, some Dads (and even just men in general) can be very disorganized and forgetful and just loose track of time. I don't think he is doing this to intentionally hurt your feelings, but you might just call and remind him of his obligations with you too!! That is what my kids used to do-call and remind me that I was supposed to be there at (insert time and day here) and where the hell am I, and when am I going to get there? Perhaps by the time he realized he missed the time he figured you would be doing something else and did not want to disturb you. Could be many different reasons for missing his "appointment" with you.

Answer 5

I'd say maybe something popped up that he couldn't get out of, or that he didn't want to get out of. You're 14, so he should be starting to treat you like an adult. Explain to him how you're feeling, and tell him that you've got a life too that you put off all other plans so you could see him, only to have that time wasted. Say that you'd like to see him, but if he could be more considerate and let you know you'd appreciate it. Speak to him calmly so he sees you're being mature about it, and it might prompt him to realise you're not a kid any more. Maybe he could call you when he's an hour away or on his way - that way you know for sure he's coming, but you don't have to be sitting there waiting for him. He could pick you up from your friend's place or whatever, that way if he doesn't call you're not so shitty... Good luck, but remember to be mature about it...

Answer 6

You need to tell him how you feel. Just be honest with him and say "Dad if you're not going to pick me up then plz call me because when you don't it makes me sad and I worry about you" Cry to him if you need to and I am sure he will realize how it makes you feel. Daddy's love their little girls and life is busy. BUT he should at least call you and let you know whats going on.
Keep smiling and things will get better.

Answer 7

I understand what your going through 100% ! My father lied to me & my brothers & sisters all the time, he never could keep a promise to us kids either. It really upset me a lot! The last time I saw my father was when I was 15, i'm now 49 years old, I've no idea where he is & could care less! I'm so sorry your going through all this tho....I hope that things will work out for you tho, i'll be praying for you, Good luck!

Answer 8

Your dad probably lied to you because he didn't want to hurt you, however dads don't always realize that by promising to do something with your child means that you need to follow through in order to keep that bond. Talk to your dad and tell him how you feel. Tell him that it hurts you when he says he's going to be there and he's not.

Answer 9

It is not in that way which you said! He liked to be with you and he tried but he could not because of life. Life is not easy at all! He likes to do whatever he says but he simply just cannot and obviously he is not brave to confess it! Take it easy and try to remember this matter and not to do it to your son! Easy man! It will pass!

Answer 10

i'm sorry, hon. some dads are just jerks like that. try writing him a letter telling him how it makes you feel when he does that. i'm saying letter because it's always been easier for me to communicate with my jerk dad in writing than face to face.