How hard is it for a man to get sole/full custody of his child?

Question

I'm 8.5 months pregnant. The father wanted me to have an abortion when he found out, and I chose to keep the baby. He left me, and then came back for a very very brief period when I was about 3 months pregnant. I haven't spoken to him in 5 months now... and the last time I spoke to him he was screaming at me saying that he was going to "Come down on my ***" in court and take the baby away. Throughout my pregnancy I've tried to just forget it - I've been working and going to school full time - paying all medical bills by myself. But as the time gets closer, I'm becoming TERRIFIED. I mean, after the baby is here, my lawyer will be filing for child support, and I'm not even sure that it's worth it!! I'm terrified that he'll be able to get my child... his family is wealthy... How probable is this? What can I do? What can HE do? I would appreciate ANY advice.

Answer 1

Unless you are an unfit mother, he doesn't stand a chance at full custody...no matter how rich he/his family is. Make sure you document everything and anything negative or threatening he says to you, and request that if he is granted visitation, that it be supervised (say you are scared he wont return him/her due to the threats). If you both have shared custody, he can leave with the baby, and its NOT kidnapping, atleast not in Canada. Make sure the courts also know how much stress he added to your pregnancy by making these threats, that can help prove his mental state, and the lack of concern for the well being of the child! And ALWAYS, and I stress ALWAYS go for child support, this is his child too, he didn't mind making it, now he can help pay for it till it's 18...make the courts aware of any hidden assets he may have, it can make a huge diff on how much support you get. Babies are expensive!!! Good luck, and try to remain calm, stress is horrible for unborn babies! XoXo :)

Answer 2

He would have to prove you unfit as a parent before they would take the baby away from you. If you go for child support then he will be able to set up visitations. I don't know how it is everywhere else but here they told my sister that my niece wouldn't be allowed to go with her father's side overnight because she was so little. They set them up on day visits everyother weekend. If he really wants to see the baby then maybe you guys would be able to work something out in court. If you feel that he would just take the baby and not return it then I would tell your lawyer that so that it can be brought up in front of the judge. I hope that this helps a little.

Answer 3

I would forget about child support and just leave the jerk out of the equation. Maybe he's being a jerk to scare you out of keeping the baby. probably doesn't want to pay support at all. If I were you I'd speak to a laywer. And chances are he won't be able to get full custody. He may prefer to be let off the hook if you let him give up any legal rights to the child. Crappy situation, but keep your head up.

Answer 4

First things first..What state do you live in,makes a diffrence.If your in califorina a libral state I tell him to go jump in a lake and good luck with that buddy.Nothing to worry about.He has to prove you unfit no matter what state you live in.If your child has a roof over its head that clean and has heat and air and food and clothing along with love and good care he can not prove you un fit.Placeing you baby in child care does NOT constute unfit and can not be sighted in court as grounds to prove you un fit but can be used to make him pay for it.He does not want this child from what youv stated he basicly does not want to pay for this child.To that simply say too bad he gotta pay for its raseing untell 18 yrs ols.If your in fear of this jerk simpley request a restraining order/order of protection and that your address and phone number as well as you school and place of work be held comphadentail not relesed to him.You lawer can do all this for you.Also when you have your baby make it clear to the staff on all shifts he is not allowed to have contact with you or your baby.Do not fear this guy you have the ablity to put a hurten on this retard.

Answer 5

You're going to have to keep your nose squeaky clean. Document every threat he makes (try to get them in writing through email or audially through voicemail). The courts should assume that both parents are fully capable of raising the child, and will most likely grant partial custody if he asks for it. Make sure you breast feed for the longest period of time so that he won't get the baby for long periods of time or overnight for quite a while.

Answer 6

Relax! don't let the jerk upset you. He has no grounds on which he can take custody from you no matter how wealthy he is. Courts in the US still favor the mother. And don't let him intimidate you out of child support, the child comes first.

Answer 7

whatever you do do not put his name on the birth certificate i know it sound crewl/odd but it actually increases in his favor for custody. oh and give the baby ur last name.
try telling him he has the option to be in the baby's life or not it's up to him but fight tooth and nail no matter how scared u r of him for sole custody.if he threatening you verbally or physcally (sp?) u have every right to restrict his visiting to supervised visits ... money isn't everything trust me!! i'm fighting my ex over my two boys and even tho he has the money my lawyer says all the more he'll pay you

Answer 8

I think that in order to lose your child you have to been deemed an unfit mother....either on drugs, abusive to the child, negligent. I think you will be fine. You sound like you will be a great mom. Sounds like you might need a PFA against him for emotional abuse.

Answer 9

Well don't put his name as the babys father on the birth certificate. He has to prove you are unfit its difficult unless he can prove that.

Answer 10

Not likely. He would have to prove that you were not competent to care for yourself & child. His total lack of involvement so far doesn't help him much either.