What age does a child start to behave when you go shopping?

Question

I have a son that is 3 in March. He is a handful when we go out shopping. He hates being in the stroller but when he's out, he doesn't want to hold hands and tries to run off. We take the stroller anyway and use it as a threat and that generally works but because of this I don't go out with him alone. I have to have at least one other adult with me. I am so over this stage in his childhood, just wondered what age approx, do they tend to start walking nicely with you when you are out together.

Answer 1

Very simple:

1) Before you go out, strap him into his car seat, look him in the eye and say clearly and firmly, "If you behave badly in the shops, I will strap you straight back into your seat and we won't go out again today. Do you understand?" Make sure he knows what your rules are - pick three rules and make them easy to understand. Like: 1)Hold hands unless in a stroller; 2)Do NOT throw a tantrum asking for things you know I won't buy for you; 3)You may ask for ONE thing and nothing else after that. Get him a lollipop or something else cheap that he can choose himself.

2) Remind him ONCE more when you enter the store that if he breaks the rules, you will take him home immediately. If that means leaving a trolley full of food behind in the shop, leave it; you can shop again tomorrow. If it means leaving a milkshake undrunk in a cafe, leave it.

3) Once you've dragged him home again, remind him why your fun trip was cut short - because he CHOSE to break the rules. Don't be angry, don't make him miserable, just make sure he knows why no-one is going out again today.

I only had to do this twice with my two-year-old. Now I have a 3-yr-old boy who is perfect in shops.

On the other hand, make sure your trips aren't so long that he legitimately gets bored. If it is under two hours and you keep him supplied with drinks, conversation, nuts or chips, then he should behave. Any more than that is really just outside his natural limits and those limits should be respected. Good luck.

Answer 2

u should have let him know early on that he needs to be good in the store. of course a child can only sit for so long, i let mine out of the cart to run around a little if we are shopping for more than a half hour, but he must hold my hand.
using the stroller as a threat might be a reason why he doesn't want to sit in it, he could feel like he did something wrong to warrant him sitting in the stroller.
u need to let him know he needs to be good in the store before u go in, and if he is maybe offer him a reward for being good. and if hes not good be ready to leave the store and show him u are not putting up with it. it might take a time or two but he'll eventually get it. and u have to be persistent, cuz believe it or not your child already knows how to push ur buttons to get what he wants even at such an innocent age.
I also head for the book aisle first, and let him pick out a couple board books to look at while shopping, this seems to help...or bring ur own.
Once ur child sees u mean business, if he wants to go with he will behave. The longer he gets away with being disobedient, the harder it will be to break him of the habit.
hes also not getting all of ur attention, try involving him in shopping, ask him questions, play i spy, etc... whatever u do good luck!

Answer 3

Since it's a boy, I would venture to say....30, maybe, if you're lucky. Just kidding. On the average I would say that 5 years old is the norm. My son is 5 and he does a good job of behaving now, but only if his three year old sister is not there. The 3 year old is still a handful even by herself. It does get better, that's all the hope I can send. But always remember, don't take everything so serious. These years only last for a short time, take this time to laugh with him. Of course he needs guidance and discipline, but he also needs fun. And be honest, if you weren't his mom and weren't with him all the time, some of the things that he does really are funny. And in the heat of the moment when you feel like dying of embarrassment or you just want to snatch him and beat his hind-end for something that he just did in the store, just hug him and laugh. You'll both feel better in the end. Good luck and best wishes to you.

Answer 4

My niece is 2 and we hardly ever have problems with her in the store. She won't sit in any kind of stroller or cart but she will walk beside you and doesn't get into everything. Whenever I take her shopping, I always buy her something little for being good. We wait until we are almost done before going and picking out a small toy. That way she knows she has to be good and stay with me. She also has found out that just because she has the toy doesn't mean she gets to act up. If she acts up the toy goes back on the shelf. You just have to make sure not to give in and buy something no matter what.

Answer 5

For me the most important things that I remember from this age was that my kids needed routine. If they needed a nap at 11am then going shopping around that time was a bad idea , because they'd be tired and cranky, if they usually had lunch around 1pm it would also be a bad time to venture out, because they'd be hungry and cranky, so try to know your sons typical daily routine and schedule outings to the stores at a time of the day when he's usually pretty calm. The other thing is that kids LOVE to be "helpers". So if you find your sons attention wandering , try something like " can you be mommy's big helper and carry the cheese?", or asking them what apples look like the best ones etc.
If all else fails wait to do your big shopping trip for when your son can be watched by another parent or a grandparent, and just bring him along for quick trips to the store. Good Luck!

Answer 6

The posting by kakapobirdthing is right on target! Especially number 2, which is a hard one for parents to do. But, after your kids know that you mean business, and the lolly will go in the bin, they pay attention! :-))

I would also add that on occasion I take my daughter out for "practice" shopping. We don't go with any specific need, just to have a good time. All the rules still apply, but I don't feel the pressure to accomplish something. You can use these times as teaching tools.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Who's the parent here? The child has you right where he wants you and he's being a brat. You need to take charge and lay down the law as this behavior will only get worse with time. Tell him what you expect and if he misbehaves promptly take him home, no fanfare, bribes or excuses. Go shopping without him and when he asks why you go alone, tell him because of his behavior. Children need to know their limits early and you have more work now as you let it get out of hand. Be consistent with your demands and he will turn around and be a delight to take with you eventually.

Answer 8

It depends on the child's personality. Has nothing to do with the raising of the child. I have babysat a 1 and 2 year old, and they were both boys. PERFECT ANGELS. I was wondering what she did to keep them so calm. It was almost weird. But then again another couple of boys could be completely different. The word threat sounds so bad, but if that's what it takes, then do it. I mean we have a 5 year old girl, and we have to have a talk with her every time we go to the store. Because she'll ask for everything. Repetition helps.

Answer 9

When our daughters were younger we generally all went to the store together...if they began to act up...one of us (usually my husband) would take them out to the car for a time out..they HATED it...the store is an exciting place for kids...so much to see and touch...so they want to run around like it is a playground.However you have to establish firm rules for how to behave in a store. Can you go shopping without him? If he really likes going...then not letting him go and explaining that his inappropriate behavior is the reason can (it did with mine) help him learn that if he wants to go he has to behave and listen. Good luck !

Answer 10

Um. A child starts to behave in public when mommy starts to discipline him. I have a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a 9-month old. I have been lax on the younger two, but the older one was told from infancy what was expected of him: "I hope you don't ever act like THAT child is in a store." Do you know, he never has?