Was this rude?

Question

I was supposed to go over to the home of a friend from church for dinner. But when I talked to her this morning on the phone, she asked me if I could do one favor for her: "Could you brush off all that dog hair off of you?" To me, it was very rude of her to say that. I have 4 dogs, including one with long white hair that does shed. But I do have a lint brush that I use before I go out, and I do my best to brush off any dog hair; however both the brush and I aren't perfect and therefore unable to remove EVERY single strand of hair. I don't go out with a grotesque amount of hair on me, but yes there are still a few. I backed out of going to the dinner after she made that comment to me. Am I crazy, or was she incredibly rude?

she's not allergic

Answer 1

rude but a lot of people are not pet people so to another non-pet lover, they would not think rude; if that is the importance level, it tells you something; I would rather eat alone at home with my dogs then be a guest at a table with people who are full of themselves; that is why a dog is unconditional love! you have 4 enjoy them and that says a lot about you; she is missing out on your company - tough for her ; don't let ignorant people ruin your spirit!!

Answer 2

Well I don't think you are crazy, just a bit too sensitive about this. What got to you the most? Was it her voice? Her tone? Her choice of words? I don't think it was rude of her to ask, but it sounds as though she might have been having a problem as to just how she was going to ask you to do something in a way that would not offend you, yet she felt that she couldn't just explain herself in a way that was honest, sincere, & NOT rude. Perhaps her real issue lies in her distaste of dirt in her home & health issues from the pet hair. Many people who have never had indoor pets don't know how to deal with hair that could carry flea eggs & germs with them & since the mere thought of even touching these "germy" hairs can make some people panic & vomit, it would seem valid to them, yet not to the pet owner/guest! I think that you just MAY be turning a molehill into a mountain. This woman DID invite you, so she must enjoy your company. I hope you at least called her to cancel & didn't retalliate by just being a "no-show" for the dinner. Perhaps you could ASK her about the left over dog hairs on your last visit, as you just may have left MORE than you realize, or she could just have problems with "phobias". Perhaps she once had a beloved pet & the hairs make her sad because she remembers her companion that is no longer with her. If you aren't willing to go the extra mile, then you should just "let-it-go" before you end up running from everything & everyone in your life. If you go to Church, then I assume that you are familiar with a little thing called "prayer"? Those pet hairs can make or break your day if you let them!

Answer 3

There are dog people, and there are not dog people. I have two long haired dogs, and a cat. I keep a lint brush on my deck, so when I try to remove hair, I am in contact with no new hairs waiting to latch on.. no matter how many times I go over myself, there is always still a few hairs. I would have done the same thing that you did. My motto is "Love Me, Love My Pets". And yes, I think she was extremely rude.

Answer 4

If you indeed don't have more than a few hairs on you, then yes she's either phobic or rude. It is possible she has a friend/family member with allergies who comes over frequently (even if she isn't allergic, I'm sure you don't know all of her other friends & neighbors) but if that's the case, why didn't she just said so??? People who have pets sometimes have a few hairs on 'm, no big deal.

Answer 5

I agree completely with John. She likes you enough to ask you over again EVEN THOUGH she (or someone who is advising her or badmouthing you to her) has a problem with the hair. She may be trying to stick up for you to someone, and hopes you'll arrive fuzz-free to make it easier for her to defend you. You never know for sure.

I say you give her the benefit of the doubt, and talk to her about it. And try to be gentle, so you don't start up an argument! Good luck!

Answer 6

She is not a pet owner I would think ( I am )
I could care less if you came over with a sweater made of dog fur
Having said that, I am sure when you leave her place bits of fur do get left behind ( booo hooo ).
Personally, I am just happy that people I invite over are gracious enough to accept and show up.

Answer 7

I don't think it was the most tactful thing to say but I don't think it was rude.

If it was an issue for her and you two are good enough friends I think it was good for her to bring it to your attention rather than avoiding you or cancelling plans as a result.

I think you should let her know that your feelings were hurt and reschedule your dinner plans.

Answer 8

I think she could have posed her question differently; perhaps in a more sensitive manner.

That being said, she may have a legitimate reason for asking, say a child with severe allergies.

If you're good enough friends to have dinner together, you should explain to her that your feelings were hurt and give her a chance to explain her comments.

Answer 9

That was rude of her to say that, but you shouldn't of backed
away. You should of came early and corrected her. You should
of said, "You know I do try hard to get all this hair off,and you
should know that everyone and everything is not perfect." "I'm
am not a slob." "You are very rude, you need to be grateful I am even hear or speaking to you!!"

Answer 10

I agree with you!!! There is a lot nicer ways to say to that a "friend". and if she thought you were always covered with dog hair, then she did not have to invite you in the first place. That was just beyotchy.