I'm a married woman who has a huge crush on my male best friend. what do i do?

Question

My husband and I do not get along well at all and divorce is inevitable for us. My best friend and I get along really well and he's totally hot. He knows how I feel about him, but he's hung up on his ex-girlfriend. We've kissed and a few other things that most friends do not do and we both feel the attraction. I gave him a simple neck rub one day that left both of us shaking, so I KNOW there's something there. I want to be more than his friend, but is it possible? There is almost a 7 year age difference (i'm older), plus the fact that I am married and have kids. I'm not wanting to tie him down and make him stay with me, I just want to spend time with him and explore these feelings some. What do I do?

Answer 1

Oh boy, it must be hard for you to say all this in a mouthful and then some. Lots to think about there. Marriage can certainly anchor a funny twist into things when there are real close friends who are always there to pick up the pieces and be a true real friend. No doubt this man you have the hots for has always been there for you. You've probably confided in him, trusted him and you must have literally opened yourself up to him in a way that no one else can understand. Feelings change just like the four seasons. We carry on in our marriages hoping to make it work with the partner that we do believe it will be 'till death do us part'. It's never that simple. Sometimes the drifting happens and we don't even know how we drifted off so far to the left. My dear, it's hard and I know it. The snug you enjoyed with this young man of your junior, of course, probably happened when you both least expected it. Yes, the most obvious conclusion is that, you cheated!!! Was this premeditated? OK, it sounds like your sitting before the onlookers in court, but the reality is, it's crucial to distinguish on what premise did this closeness with this young man became consumated. I would say the jury is still out on that one. Age is just a number too my dear. Don't worry about this!! Suggestion to you, don't talk age difference with this young man. It's obvious that your heart is flowing in another direction and because as humans we seek love and affection when we can get it, I would say to follow your heart. Just be careful though that you conclude things with your husband as peacefully as possible. You're probably thinking which planet did I crashed out of, but this is the only way you will be able to pursue happiness with these profound new feelings that you've discovered. I won't ramble on anymore, I can truly relate to what's happening here. Younger men are seriously attracted to older women these days. Maybe the global warming has some profound effect on them in their thinking. It's not just the environment that's being impacted. LOL!!! Guide your decisions there carefully my friend and peace be with you with all what's ahead. Good luck.

Answer 2

Wow, I feel sorry for your husband.

You should file papers and pursue you crush.
How long have you been married, and will your crush be a good father to your kids if they are young children of course are things to think about.

Although if you already kissed the guy and done other things your husband does not know about you might as well go all the way, especially if your husband has cheated on you in the past, then it is okay to explore with your "friend".

As a man, I would be crushed if my girl cheated on me I'd rather have her end the marriage or relationship so I don't feel like I was along for the ride. I feel if you choose to get married you give up everyone else except the one your with, but if your husband beats you or treats you like crap then I can understand, good luck, I say life is a game of chances and you'll never know what could have been unless you take the chance.

Answer 3

Try staying away from this guy for a while and work on your relationship with your husband first before you go to the big D. Have you ever considered that maybe your husband can tell whats going on, and in turn this may be part of the reason the two of you arent getting along? Always remember that you also need to take into consideration how your children feel, and what would be best for them. Im not saying stay with your husband just because of them but they do have feeling that should count for something!

Answer 4

You are NOT a woman as you state,

You are headed for an inevitable divorce because you husband is married to a GIRL with a male best friend. Real WOMEN do not have male best friends.

You have children, I do hope your husband is an adult and not a little boy in the way you are such a little girl. Make sure that he gets the children (they need an adult parent, not a selfish girl raising them).

Your children would best be served if you became a real women and took out your girly sexual frustrations on her husband like a real women does. That's what you should do but my bet is you are just thinking between your legs and don't give a rats about your husband and children.

For your children's sake, Pray be you grow up quick.

Answer 5

Get a divorce before you explore any further with him.
You and your hubby may not get along and all, but nobody deserves to be cheated on.
You have a long road ahead of you too. The divorce will be lengthy because of the kids.
Just keep it straight until you are single and the hubby cant use anything against you if he finds out.
Be smart hun. Karma always gets ya in the end.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

First of all, it seems that both you and your friend have mutal feelings towards each other which is good start. 1) Talk to him about his ex and see why he is so hung up on her and take that and put your feelings into it and let him know how you want to be with him as well. It seems that you are really doing about as much as you can unless you get divorced so go for it baby.

Answer 7

You've cheated on your husband already if you've kissed this other guy. You need to be divorced before exploring anything else. you'll regret it in the long run if you dont do things the right way. End your marriage, and take some time for yourself before jumping into anything

Answer 8

both of you are involved with other people which serves to complicate the situation. If you are equally interested in each other then you should work to sever the ties in each of your respective commitments.If you can accomplish this successfully, then its a good indication that you are both right for each other. Any other arrangement will only lead to misery later. In other words, finish your dinner before you start on dessert.

Answer 9

in basic terms you may answer that query, life is by no potential elementary for a gay.however the way i see it you may tell her your the form you experience and danger comprimising your friendship or you may tell her your gay yet wait till you notice her reaction in the previous expressing your thoughts or you may no longer tell her. The question is will u be happier without her as a chum and your homsexuality out in the open or will you be happier stay pals yet shop your feeling inner maximum. If she is a very stable chum perchance she would be able to make sure your sexuality and you may stay freinds. the placement is the comparable regardlessweather you're gay, yet till she is gay i propose you place aside your thoughts in case you like the friendship to ednure. in case you may desire to get it of your chest perchance tell her your gay yet no longer ur feeling for her. those are in basic terms some information as i stated in basic terms you may make that determination.

Answer 10

your married. even if you don't get along with your husband it's still wrong to cheat on him. if your not happy with your marriage then file for a divorce then you can be free to do whatever you please