new kitten owner- very frustrated- need help?

Question

ok so I bought some very playful cats today at Petsmart and I thought they would warm up to me. I have a huge condo with a spiral stair case and two rooms. These cats will not even get close to me and every time i try to get near them they run away. They are only 8 weeks old. I adopted a brother and sister and it seems like when ever the female is alone she cries. Well the male i did hold for awhile now he wont let me get near them. Will they out grow this please? They are playing with each other up and down the spiral stair case but i want them to play with me. I do not have time for a dog but some attension would be nice. It is the first day. I am playing with them a little bit but they are still nervous about getting close. So what should i do? If they do not get better i will return them in a week which is sad but i need a playful cat and a lap cat. I miss my lab.

Answer 1

While I adopted a single cat, a kitten named Sarah, roughly 16 years ago, I remember that, after I picked her up from the garage at which her mother had abandoned her, she spent the first hour slowly moving from one hiding spot to another throughout my apartment. The next few hours she spent darting around the apartment and not allowing me near her.

That night however, she snuggled up next to me after I had gone to sleep and has yet to pass up an opportunity to follow me around when I'm outside, and sit in my lap when I'm inside since.

Give them a chance; I'm sure that they'll calm down once they have had more of an opportunity to get to know you.

Answer 2

Don't worry about it too much.They're probably nervous as they're in a big scary new place and if you campare your size to them they could think you're out to get them and normally a kitten isn't taken away from it's mother until it is at least 3 months old. If you keep trying and talk to them and act like they are human and a member of your family they should warm up to you eventually. Don't take them back after only a week. Some of our cats only started to settle in after a few months. If you keep trying and giving them as much time and attention as you can, eventually you will have a playful cat and a lap cat ^_^

Answer 3

Hi. Thanks 4 adopting this sis/bro duo. Everybody has such good tips 4 u. Patience is extremely important...especially with cats. At least they have the familiarity of family (each other) to cope w/ their new surroundings.
In addition to other people's tips, it might b helpful to put them in a smaller room; give lots of attention and gradually let them explore larger rooms until they have a comfortable run of the house. Remember, everything takes time.
U might also leave an unwashed sock or two to help them get used to u. Also, a teenager once suggested softly petting the backs of the cats heads as the cats eat. Warren Eckstein (www.thepetshow.com) says to briefly pet the cats...to leave the cats wanting...and to gradually increase the petting time. Soon the cats will be chasing u 4 a rub down. When this point happens, be prepared 2b repaid w/ messages (kneads). Smile.
Give it time (a few months). Enjoy.

Answer 4

I had adopted an older cat from a vet clinic. The cat had been majorly abused by its former owner. She would only come out at night to eat and use the litter box. I did not want a cat that did not want to be loved, so I had to teach her to trust and love me. Every 3 hours, no matter where she was hiding in the house, I would drag her out, hold her, pet her and tell her how much safe she was and that no one would ever harm her again. It took some time, but she became queen of the house and the sweetest kitty ever. Be patient and persistent. It will be so worth it. Good luck!

Answer 5

Think about this from their eyes. They have grown up together and only know each other. You're a giant who may want to eat them. Give them food and water and let them learn that your hands only give good feelings of scratching under their chins and behind their ears. Never encourage them to play fight with your hands they will rip you to shreds later. Get some cat toys like feathers on a string and wand. Just drag it along the floor or dangle it by a doorway. Be patient and gentle and they will learn to love you and want to play with you as well. Eight weeks is really young so it will take a while. Don't give up.

Answer 6

Take it slow! They will obviously be nervous of you at first but you must give them space and they will learn to trust you. Some cats will never be "lap cats" however, since you got yours at such a young age and providing they have had no real trauma in their life such as abuse or being taken from their mother too early they should warm to you in time.

The best plan is to give them space when they want it. If you force them to sit on your lap or grab on to them then they will resent you. Instead take the time to stroke them and talk to them as much as possible. Hand feed them dry food - but don't get them fat! and generally let them get used to your company. You are a scary great human and they are tiny wee kittens probably missing their mum.

This is meant to be a two way relationship and you really can't expect full-on trust and cosiness after 24 hours!!!!! Would you expect some one you met on a blind date to trust you and act like a spouse of 50 years after one date? didn't think so.

Stop expecting too much too fast and enjoy getting to know your new pets. Remember you can't just think about yourself and what you want, You have to think about what your kittens want and try to see the situation from their eyes.

Answer 7

I think that this is the detriment of buying any kitten from a pet store. Ultimately you have no knowlege if it was socialized or when it was taken from it's mother. All I can tell you is that this is going to require patience on your end. I don't think that you have a hopeless case by any means. Also, remember that these kittens are in a new place for the first day! Being only eight weeks, these kittens are young enough where your relationship with them can still have a huge influence on their socialization. So, take a deep breath... and remember that this is the first day of being together for all of you.

A full size condo is an awful lot of space for a kitten just off the bat. To help them better adjust, I would recommend to you that you put them together in a small room like a bathroom or somewhere like that with their food, water and litter and just let them be in there for a few days. So, wait til they go in there together to eat or use their box and close the door behind them. Then you don't have to chase them down and grab them. By the way (You must keep the toilet seat down at all times if they are in a bathroom - kittens can drown easy in a toilet). This smaller space will be a controlled environment where they can get used to their new surroundings and most importantly, YOU! Then you can several times a day just go into the bathroom with them. Sit down on the side of the tub or somewhere and just watch them for a while. Let them get used to you and your voice and your smell. Let them approach you. They will eventually get curious. Wait to touch the timid one until she seems secure with you around and when she gives you the opportunity and makes herself available to it. Just start by stroking her rather than trying to pick her up. Wait until she is okay with your touch first. Once they seem comfortable in the smaller space, open up another larger space for them again before you give them the full run of the house. I would say that you can give them the full run of the house within about three weeks unless they are still timid. Then wait a couple more.

Its hard to say how long it will take for them to warm up to you but it could be a while. I mean, it could be a few weeks. I don't mean to be discouraging but it could easily be. Kittens of that age also don't tend to pay too much attention to their loving humans unless they are in sleep mode. They are totally occupied with themselves and each other the rest of the time. I think it is all going to work out. You just need patience and to curb your expectations for a while. It took almost a year for my kitten to cuddle with me for any time on the sofa. He just had too much energy. That can seem disappointing but kittens are so much fun to watch and play with, that is the trade off you get. Have fun with them.

Answer 8

Hi, I think very strongly that it is a time issue here. Seeing that these two little kittens have been in a cage for who knows how long. They are in a totally new "cool" atmosphere and having the time of their life exploring their new surroundings. They will warm up to you, sooner than you think. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day......These kittens won't take to you right off the bat, but, don't give up. They will come around real soon. Good luck!

Answer 9

Did you get no counseling whatsoever when you adopted the kittens? You should not go into cat or dog ownership and expect the creatures to meet YOUR emotional needs.

Everyone is correct in saying that you are giving them too much space right now. Take them into your bedroom with their litterbox, food and water. You may not be able to sleep through the night for a while and I would be willing to bet you will have kitties on or in your bed with you soon. They have not been socialized to people and their only familiarity is with one another for now. It will take more than a week for you to become part of their "family". Let them take the initiative in coming to you for affection and don't force yourself on them for now.

Answer 10

You made a mistake by letting them run all over your place. When you get kittens, you should confine them to one room for a while so that they'll get acquainted with you. You are a stranger and they are babies, they are frightened and are in a new place. Give them a chance. If it's possible for you to catch them at some point, put them in a room and let them stay there for a while. Visit them and hold them, they will warm up to you. My babies were 8 weeks old when I got them, I don't think I would have ever gotten my hands on them if they weren't confined. Also remember, they are tiny, it's really much safer for them if you can put them in a room for a few weeks.