I have a 7y/o daughter, 12yo son and a 15 y/o son. I dont know why but I let my 15 and 7yo get away with things that I wouldnt let my 12yo do. I make him clean his siblings rooms as a chore and I expect strait A's from him while my other kids are allowed to bring home C's.I also punish him more harshly then I do my other children. However I do love them all equally and I feel like this has gone on long enough. Do you do this to your kids? And how can I change?? I need all the advice I can get.
2007-02-03 10:42:53 · 16 answers · asked by Charles B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Stop with the games.
From your previous questions:
Im a guy and i want to stay a virgin...why does this make me gay?
im 15 and i just broke up wit me gf cuz she wanted sex and i didnt. And b4 her a gurl broke up w/me when she started preasuring me 4 sex and i turned her down..But now everyone at skool thinks im gay(im not)cuz both gurls r really hot.And ever1 been sayin only a gay guy wouldnt wanna have sex wit a gurl like tht. Why would ppl think im gay just cuz i dont wanna hve sex? Is it really tht uncommon 4 guy to wanna stay a virgin?
2007-02-03 10:48:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
There has to be an underlying reason for this behaviour from you. Have you always treated your 12 yo differently? Can you remember when it started? You are aware that you are doing it so that is a start. You need to raise the bar with your other 2 children and lower the 12 yr olds (and you have to make a conscious effort to do so). For example, instead of expecting C's from your 7 and 15 yo's make it B's. Also expect B's from your 12 yo. Have a jobs roster for the 3 children with rotating chores so they all pull their weight (the 7 yo may not be able to do everything the other two kids can do). They should be cleaning their own rooms (when I read that you make the 12 yo clean his siblings rooms I was horrified)!!! You need to fix the way you treat your 12 yo NOW before it's too late and he resents you (believe me he will resent you)!!! Good luck, and if worst comes to worst and you can't change, get help from therapy.
2007-02-03 11:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by sydney77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your 12 year old son is the middle child so that's why you treat him like that cause you have your 15 year old son who is your first born and then your 7 year old which is the baby of the family and usually a mom or dad treats the middle child differently then the others..They say it is normal but I would try to change cause you dont want him to hate you when he gets older...You should take him out and do something with him, just you and him and no one else so you guys can talk and maybe you can buy him a gift or something, but stop treating him differently cause it is not good for the little bit of a relationship you have now with him...
2007-02-03 22:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think hard about the children and what makes you do this. Maybe you know that the 12yo would take advantage if you were easier on him. Maybe you really love him more and care more about how he turns out.......
But I think making him clean the other kids' rooms is going too far. And I think you should gradually increase your expectations of the other kids.
And no kid should ever be allowed to bring home Cs. That is not acceptable.
2007-02-03 12:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is good that you acknowledge this. You need to think EVERY time before you tell your 12 yo to do something or punish him. Ask yourself would I do it to the others like this. Why on earth you would make him clean the other kids rooms I don't know. Sounds like you have an issue with him that you need to look deep inside yourself and work out why you feel like this. I hope it is not too late for you to have done long term damage to your relationship with your son. Spend some one on one time with him doing what he wants and have a talk with him how you know you are treating him unfairly and you are going to change your behaviour and you want his help to nicely point out when he feels you are "slipping"
Damn it. I make all the efforet of typing an answer then i looked at the guy above who points out basically that you are a liar. I hate it when people make stuff up. why would you write this if you are a dad with three kids?
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41 answers
Im a guy and i want to stay a virgin...why does this make me gay?
im 15 and i just broke up wit me gf cuz she wanted sex and i didnt. And b4 her a gurl broke up w/me when she started preasuring me 4 sex and i turned her down..But now everyone at skool thinks im gay(im not)cuz both gurls r really hot.And ever1 been sayin only a gay guy wouldnt wanna have sex wit a gurl like tht. Why would ppl think im gay just cuz i dont wanna hve sex? Is it really tht uncommon 4 guy to wanna stay a virgin?
2007-02-03 11:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Phil actually had a show on this not too long ago, but the woman favored her youngest child. Do they all have the same father (assuming you are female)? If not, you could be holding on to feelings you still have for the father and it comes out in how you treat your children. Being the middle child is extrememly difficult, and being treated differently could cause emotional problems that will exert themselves later in life. You should seek family therapy and address your concerns before it's too late!!
2007-02-03 11:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a middle child i will tell you that i think your horrible for treating your child like this, my parents did the same thing to me and as an adult i can't stand them, i hate the fact that i had to wear hand me downs, while my brother and sis. always had new stuff, always had to pick up after their messes, and if i had argued or said that its not fair, then i would get beaten by a leather belt and double chore duty! You are treating your child like Cinderella, and you will face the consequences of your actions later on in life, unless you change now, how is it so hard for you not to treat him the same, you chose life for him, not the other way around, I would however warn you to stop, i just lost a friend to suicide, and it was because his mother favored his brother over him. He was to embarrassed to tell her that he lost his job, even though he was a straight A student and in his last year of college! I hope you get counseling you need it to be a better mother!
2007-02-03 11:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Novak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he buys you in spite of you pick for the toddler i do not see what the difficulty is. He has teo little ones with the different lady. Thats double the amont of money that you'll pick on your newborn. it variety of feels to me that your extra in touch about him spending his funds on yet another lady somewhat than on you and your jelous. he's only attempting to do what he thinks is ideal, for his little ones. Do you ask him to babysit for you? If the twins mom says that she will be in a position of't be around the little ones it variety of feels to me that she will be an undeserving mom and perhaps hes fearful about that.
2016-11-24 22:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
expecting better grades doesn't mean that you love him less, just that you know him and what he is capable of (as well as your other children). as far as making him clean their rooms, you have got to stop. you are punishing him! make them clean their own rooms! make a list of each of their individual chores, and pay their allowance based on whether or not they do their own chores without being asked
2007-02-03 10:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by citygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is to spend a little more one on one with your middle son. You are definetly unfair and my guess is that your don't "know" him all that well. Maybe if you take the time for just him you would change your ways.
2007-02-03 10:49:06 · answer #10 · answered by jparrish97 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋