Is it ok to allow my husband to have sex with other women as long as i know about it???!!!!!?

Question

my husband and i just got married, and im not a jealous person by nature even though he is, and i once told him that i would be ok with him having sex with other women as long as i know about it and as long as its just a one night stand thing. is it normal for me to think this way? and if he would do that and tell me, i wouldnt consider it cheating. but would he still cheat on my anyways?? I think that all men cheat no matter how hot there wife is, i dont wanna be cheated on, would this arrangement eliminate that? im really confused and i feel i made a mistake of telling him that because i dont want him to take advantage of it.

Im very self confident, alomot concided at times, and he really loves me, he never agreed to that deal and said it was ok. he thought it was kinda strange as well, in my own crazy world i thought if i knew about it and was ok with the open relationship then he would have no reason to cheat on me. cheating is one thing i would never tolerate and i dont want to be in that position.

Answer 1

You're the ideal wife

Answer 2

Why would you say something like that to your husband to set him up? Are you friends with Satan or something?
You need to go to your husband ASAP and tell him how you really feel about cheating! This kind of thing breaks down the whole sanctity of marriage.
Cheating is unacceptable and just because someone decides to do it does not mean that it is o.k.
You are right, it has nothing to do with the other person.

Answer 3

Well, according to your logic...why don't you give him permission to hit you, talk to you like scum, steal your money, and any other thing that holds NO place in a loving relationship.
It's too late to ask you why you would marry someone that you think should be able to sleep with other woman... I think what you need to ask ... is WHY do you have such a low opinion of yourself, that you think you do not deserve a man who will think of you as a princess and treat you wonderful... a man who would NEVER touch another woman intimately.
Him, do the most intimate action 2 people can do with each other, is not technically cheating if you allow it... but it IS a way to lower you to the title of "doormat" and proving you have no self respect.
You need to love yourself and get yourself to the point that you believe you deserve true love.
If you stay thinking as you do, your marriage is going to fall apart. As it is, if he knows what you are thinking, he already will have zero respect for you.
Respect yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, and don't accept anything less than what you deserve. And if right now, if you do not think you deserve true happiness... you need to work on yourself first.. .and then think about having a real relationship.
All logic says that you already knew the answer to this, but needed to hear it from others.
I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Were you abused as a child ? Have you ever slit your wrists for attention ? It sounds more like you need a major dose of self-esteem. You seem to know this - that's why you took the time to ask this question . You should tell your husband how you really feel and then get some professional help or if you cant afford that at least go to the local library and pick up some good self-help books.

Answer 5

If you are having second thoughts, then there is a reason for it. Marriage is expected to be monogamous, in other words, exclusive between the two of you. Could you handle his siring children with other women? Could you handle having to pay child support to those children? and so forth. Nothing is certain when it comes to anther's actions. If his intent is to remain faithful, then it is in your best interest to help keep it so. If he has no intent to stay faithful, then you might be better off elsewhere. There are marriages that are set up this way and there are definite rules here. I suggest that you check into the polygamous websites and read what you find there. Also swinger blogs and related matters are also useful in this area. By granting him the freedom to play the field and deny yourself the same opportunity, you will only end up regretting it later. This type of contract, must go both ways or it will most likely blow up in your face later.

Answer 6

Lady trust that he will take advantage of it. What's the point of bein married if the woman down around the corner can say she's had your husband RECENTLY? Or the woman at the cleaners is gettin the same things done to her as you are by your OWN man? No sweetie, it's not ok. Marriage is a sacred bond and no man (or woman) should put asunder. Check that **** and tell him you changed your mind. Trust and will power is a big challenge in a marriage but its worth if you can still call your man or woman only yours (to the best of your knowledge)

Answer 7

I think you made a mistake by telling him that. For one, you may have given him the green light to go ahead and sleep around, and who knows what diseases he could bring home to you. For another, he may feel that you don't truly love him if you are alright with him sleeping around. Explain to him that you are so afriad of him having an affair that you told him he could have one night stands with your blessing. However, tell him that you love him so much and you want to have a loving relationship and a monogomous relationship, because you don't want to share. I think he will be happier to hear that from you than to hear that you are ok with him having sex with other women. I also believe that you are right, it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, if your man is a cheater, he will cheat on you. Good luck.

Answer 8

My question is...why the heck did you get married? Marriage and an open relationship contradict each other. If you are dumb enough to let him do that, it's just a matter of time before he files for divorce, because he found someone else that he wants to be married to.

Either you are very naive or lacking self esteem. Either way, such a relationship will only end in disaster.

Answer 9

You basically gave him a free pass to f*ck anyone he chooses. I personally would not be "OK" with that by any means, but to each his own. It is still cheating unless you are involved in the activity. Several of my friends have relationships(not married but have families) that are open but only if all parties are involved. I personally do not agree with that either, you are just asking for trouble in the long run. I would be concerned with not only emotional issues that would arise but more importantly health issues.

Answer 10

I think if you let your husband have sex with another women that you should be included in the sex. He might start cheating if he's in the room alone with the women he could possibly think about it and that would tempt him to do it. You and you're new husband should have sex together first and you will see how incredibly good it feels and then you can be having sex with your husband and another women at the same time. Make sure first you do it with him alone.

Answer 11

this would probably fall under the "swingers" category... some couples are into that, and are okay with it, but it needs to be established LONG into the beginning of the relationship...

so answer me this... if u came home tonight and your husband pulls u aside and says that he's going to go over to a hotel to sleep with a woman he met in the bar the other night, what is your honest feelings towards that??

and if your husband is going to take advantage of the comment that you made about it being okay with u, then u might want to rethink if this is the man that u want to spend the rest of your life with...