To be more clear, I'm not talking about teen moms that give birth to a child that they have no desire to raise. This question is about parents that already have children and the mother ends up pregnant with a child that neither parent wants. A personal example:
I have a friend that was an unwanted child and her parents told her during her entire childhood that she was not wanted. She was also horribly mistreated by her much older siblings while her parents stood by and let it happen. If her parents despised her that much, then why wasn't my friend given up for adoption and sent to live with a family that would love her and want her around? How cold-hearted do you have to be to keep a child that you despise and treat it like crap?
2007-02-03 10:00:50 · 11 answers · asked by Randy Johnson's Mullet 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
because society has made adoption a bad thing for the people that place their children. the adoptive parents "save" the child, while the birthparents are told they should have "given up" the child. if you tell a complete stranger that you have placed a child for adoption they will say things like why didn't you want them, were you not capable to care for them, why did you "give" that child away? instead of commending them for making the right choice.
now as for your friend's parents. placing a child for adoption is a very selfless act. it is done by people who think only of the child and nothing of themselves and how they will feel. you friend's parents sound like they never have done anything that did not benefit them, nor have they every done anythin that wasn't selfish on their part. therefore they would not be able to place a child for adoption because they would have to think of someone other than themselves. hope that answers your question.
2007-02-06 17:07:38 · answer #1 · answered by cagney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats very sad, but possably the parents didnt have information regarding adoption or it was un exseptable to outher family member .Some pressure could have been placed on the parents by grandparents ect to keep the child.It could have been a pride thing or emberrasing to admit their emoshional in ablity to rase anouther child.Its verry sad 4 ur friend but at least her parents had enugf for thought not to kill her with an abortion
2007-02-07 05:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by christine h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe her parents had too much pride to give her away..im sure its not easy to explain to people yeah i had 3 kids but the last one i gave away cause we only wanted 2. I'm sure youd get rude comments and maybe they didnt know how the rest of the family would act about it...or they thought when they seen her theyd love her.......or grow to love her. Either way everything happens for a reason and im sure shes a much stronger person now from that horrible experience....
2007-02-03 10:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a sad story, I would like to have your friend see a therapist, not all people are bad like that.
Maybe her father is someone else, and mom and dad couldnt stand to look at her? If they gave her up. what would they tell their friends, relatives, other kids? "I had a baby but it died"? Someone stole it? I didn't want it? There are some sick people in this world unfortunately your friend was born to 2 of them, please give her a lot of love and support.
2007-02-03 10:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by crzygal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i feel for your friend. the reason i wouldn't "give up" a child is because in the us it takes sooo long for kids to get adopted, and they just become a part of the "system" and who wants that. in your friends case she may have been better off, her parents sound like *** holes
2007-02-03 10:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becuase emotionally it is harder to give a baby up then raise an unwanted child.
2007-02-03 10:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by goodmommy22 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
they probably dont think like that often.
even though she was unwanted at bitrth.. their had to be sum reason they wanted to keep her.
just tell ur friend to stop worryin bout what her parents think and start pushing more belief in herself. and make herself wanted.. not by her parents.. but to the world..
2007-02-03 10:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by CuKoconut07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they dont always think about it like that.
Its possible that they want someone to share in their misery.
Mom didn't want me because I was a girl and she never wanted a girl, but she wouldn't give me up. So I dealt with it.
2007-02-03 10:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would think that they would feel bad or just stupid but them girls now a days puttin the in trash cans is even dumper they shouldn't have tried to have them if they ain't want them
2007-02-03 10:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by James C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because some people is just plain mean they want to see others suffer
2007-02-03 10:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by sexyislandgyal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋