shes to afraid of the outcome what do i do to help her he has raped her so much that she cant even remember how many times her emontional state is so damaged ugh i want to help but what do i do she doesnt want me to hurt him shes afraid her mom will hate her for ever god **** sake i need help
2007-02-03 09:58:50 · 16 answers · asked by pain1009922 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i dont no what to do
2007-02-03 10:06:18 · update #1
update where not together anymore she doesnt understand what hes done is serious crime shes afraid ugh i cant do anything
2007-02-11 02:12:50 · update #2
Hi !!!
DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOURSELF!!!!Someone needs yo know NOW!!! I think it would be better if you go to a hospital, like that she will have complete sopport!!!
This is a very delicate matter and the only thing that can happen is NOT GOOD!!! Neither for your friend or for you!!!
If you really consider yourself, a good friend, you need to convince her to call the authorities!!! She would NOT be able to come out of this herself, she is to weak, already and he has the better hand for his situation!!!
It is very hard, forme to say what I'm about to say, but it is the absolute truth!!! Tell your friend, that if it happens again, she nedds, NOT TO SHOWER OR GET CLEANED UP!!!! NO!!!
She needs then to go inmidiately to a hospital, where they have "SPECIAL RAPE UNITS", she needs to tell in detail, everything that happened, who, how many times, where, the name and nickname of the suspect, address.
She will be taken good care by this "SPECIAL RAPE UNITS", and also she will be seen by a spychiatrist!!!
The only reason that I'm telling you this is that Police Dept. needs the proof of the rape, and the only way is to have it fresh!!!
They need to take a sample of the semen, and the picture of bruises if he is hurting her, or the pictures of the vaginal area for possible irritation or bleeding!!
Without this she would NOT have much of a case, unless he is doing the same thing to others!!! SOME ONE NEEDS TO STOP HIM!!! THAT IS BEFORE HE KILLS SOME ONE!!!
If she is afraid that her mother would not understand, the situation, she can even ask to be put into another person custudy until her mother gets counseling of this matter!!!
You are sking because you don't know what to do????
SO, your job as a friend right now is to keep yourself and her alife, and away of this guy as possible!! She needs to settle this situation as soon as possible before something even worst happens!!!
If your friend doesn't want to do this, remind her that she could be the next statistic, as JANE DOE!!!! This is the name that the morgue has on tags for females, without I.D.
GOD BLESS YOU, BE SAVE, and try to convince her, into going to a hospital as soon as possible. NOT TO BE AFRAID!!!
If she doesn't do this now she will be afraid for the rest of her life!!
A.Z.
2007-02-10 18:31:56 · answer #1 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inform her parents and social worker immediately. She may have to be removed to a safe location until an investigation is started, either way, dial 911 or 000 in Oz but do it and do it NOW. Your friend is a child at 13 and her emotional state is as you say severly damaged but she can get the right help. Remember to that at 13 mens threats are very real and she is unable to handle the situation on her own because its happened so often, she doesnt emotionally know how to deal with the situation.
Get your friend help. You have a moral obligation to call the authorities. This man must be stopped NOW, he may even be doing the same thing to another girl and if he is not stopped he will continue to rape and abuse others. Please do not wait another minute, this man must pay the price for what hes doing to this girl. Think of the well-being of your friend, she will thank you in the end. STOP this happening now.
2007-02-07 21:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright...I can speak from experience...when I was 15, I was in my first relationship. I was a virgin. My boyfriend decided he wanted to have sex. I didn't want to. Too bad for me, cuz I had no option. He did the same thing to me that the 16 year old is doing to your girlfriend, except I was dating him when he did this stuff to me. I didn't realize what it was til it was over, and now I'm dealing with all sorts of rage towards him. If I ever see him again, I will kill him. Ideally, your girlfriend will be able to talk to someone (a parent, church person, aunt, someone.) and the rapist will go to jail. Alas, things aren't always so clear cut. She COULD go to a low income mental health clinic and see a licensed therapist, possibly get on meds, whatever she needs to do.
She must understand it's not her fault, she's not alone, and YOU cannot abandon her right now. Be there for her. Heck, if you need to, get an older cousin or neighbor to beat the living crap out of the guy, and THEN have your girlfriend get a restraining order (usually they cost $50, so save up your allowance and help her.) against the guy.
She doesn't need to be ashamed. The word "Victim" isn't painted on her forehead. Just don't let her give up. She must tell her mom. Her mom won't respond exactly in the best manner, but it'll be a huge shock to her system to realize that her baby girl has been hurt in such a manner. Just..be there for her. Don't go to prison over a worthless piece of trash...let the police deal with him. She's not as hopeless as she feels. Recovery won't be fast, but it's coming. Just tell her this...her memory is like a whiteboard where you draw on it with dry-erase markers. Except this time, someone wrote on it with a permanent marker. No matter how much scrubbing she does, it will never go away, but in time, it will fade.
2007-02-06 17:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ginna G 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You NEED to help your girlfriend. If it's not you, then who will? Obviously her family doesn't know, so they have no way of helping her.
1) Let your girlfriend know that it is NOT her fault that she has been raped. Many rape victims blame themselves.
2) Before doing anything else, CALL THE POLICE on this 16-year-old. He is a dangerous person, and no one else should have to suffer like your girlfriend has.
3) Find a guidance counsellor and let them know what's going on. They should be able to find a social worker to help your girlfriend.
4) Be as supportive as you can for your girlfriend. She has been traumatized and needs a lot of TLC and support through this very difficult time.
Please do NOT let this go untreated
2007-02-10 08:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by lovethemusic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please call Children Protection Services & report the rapes. You do not have to give them your name...Only the facts. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO ANYTHING TO THIS 16 YEAR OLD ALLEDGED RAPIST!! I only use the term "alledged" because he has not been found guilty of rape @ this point. Report this crime to the authorities & they will take care of it. She will need professional help to deal with this violent crime against her. Let the professionals help her.The emotional & mental damage is so great it's beyond your abiltities. That's not a put down...It's just the facts. If you attempt to harm the rapist, you will be risking YOUR freedom by being sent to a prison. You certainly can't help your girlfriend from a prison, can you? don't wait to report it. Don't tell your girlfriend you even reported the rapes. You gotta stay on the sidelines on this one.
2007-02-10 17:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by Tk 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok what you need to do is tell the parents counsler or the cops. when i was 12 years old i had a similar thing happen to me and i didn't want anyone to know. Well at school one day my friend found out and told the counsler and she called me into her office and i told her everything and it was the best thing for me. they called the cops and i have never seen that guy ever again. trust me she might be mad at first that you told but she will be better and happier later on. She will thank you at the time you tell or after a while but it will be best for everyone to tell asap. good luck
2007-02-08 03:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by apriljean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need some help too. That's an awful thing to deal with at any age. Do you think she needs some professional help? If I was her mother, I would definitely want to know so I could comfort her and possible get her help. Families should stick together when at all possible.
God bless.
2007-02-11 04:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by Barbra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he should be raped for a change caused he's obviously a sicko? Or maybe he would like that too?
Call in the authorities, police etc. She needs to be surrounded with protective friends until it gets sorted out.
2007-02-11 01:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by numb nuts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
=X omg....i feel so sorry 4 her, and u need 2 stay by her side and protect her from that as*whole, ive never been raped but ive had some close encounters, and trust me she is torn appart inside, i cant strease this enough help her thru this, untill shes old enough 2 move out, shell b living in constant fear even after that, but shell b away from that ***... care love and nearcher her as long as u can...that pain never goes away...and god bless
2007-02-08 18:27:50 · answer #9 · answered by amy a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you go to her mom. Or call protective services. If you don't let some one know, she will just keep getting victimized. beating him up wont help any thing.
She will be mad at you. and you may even lose her but how can you say you love some one and let this happen to her. You have to love her enough to be willing to give her up if need be. to protect her.
2007-02-10 16:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋