the story is i moved from london to new york 2 yrs ago...didn't know anybody.. miraculously met this older lady who befriended me and later on asked me to live with her. she's very capable.. so she didn't need me for anything! the story is my family in london have been giving me a hard time. the place i currently work doesn't pay me enough, so my parents are always criticizing me saying i've let them down and i'm a disappointment.. this morning my mother told me i've disappointed the whole family, i'm going on 27 and have no husband or career and i'm broke.. i never ask them for their money and have managed to sustain myself for the past 2 yrs.. my mother said she'll ask my friend to kick me out, so i can see how tough life is and my father said he'd come to take meback.. i am happy with my life and applying for better jobs, but they are always telling me how i've let them down! they've done this all my life and enough is enuf. i love them, but they hurt me.. what should i do? help?
2007-02-03 09:37:17 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are 27 so therefore your parents cant control your life.They just want to be in control of your life.. Its time you learnt to stand up for yourself.I thought life was already tough being broke.
2007-02-03 09:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have somewhat of a simmilar situation. My parents wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer, like all my siblings, but my heart lies in art. I moved out when I was 17, been working low paying jobs, living in an apartment in a rough part of town, but I don't care because I get to paint everyday and sell my work at shows. They tell me all the time that I am a disappointment and that I am an idiot for thinking I could live off my art. Of course it became even worse when I turned 18 and got piercings and tattoos.
So, I wrote them a letter that basically said how I was disappointed in them for not loving me regardless of my choices and for making me feel bad about myself for the 17 years I lived with them. Then I stopped talking to them. Didn't take their calls, returned their letters, pretended I wasn't home when they came over. About five months after I sent the letter, I saw them at one of my art shows. They looked uncomfortable, but they were there nonetheless. It felt good. Didn't exactly makeup for the way they treated me when I was growing up, but it's a start. The point is you've got to show them that you're happy, and they can either be happy for you and support you or they can get lost.
2007-02-03 18:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they are afraid for you right now and most likely if this is an ongoing thing about putting you down they have done this to keep you with them. Sometimes people say and do things they shouldn't because they are afraid. Since your Dad said he would come get you if you were homeless, and Mom threatened to call your friend to kick you out, this is a case where they want you home safe. Stand your ground. Go to your lady friend explain about your parents, let her know their threats so if they would call she will be aware of what is going on. Talk to your parents, let them know you are trying and given time maybe they can come visit you and see how well you are doing. Good luck. Keep your chin up along with your spirits.
2007-02-03 17:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, why do you care about what you're parents are saying? I've learned that my parents expect way to much out of me. Just ignore them, learn to be 'humble' around them. It's horrible when parents make threats, and your friend won't kick you out if your mother asks, don't worry. Keep your hopes high, and don't give up, how do you know you won't live to be famous, and your parents regretting ever telling you you're a disapointment?
You're parents should care about you. Not about whether or not you have a husband, whether or not you have a huge giant job, or what ever. They should care about you, not your possions.
2007-02-03 17:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by Crappy Haircut Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really hard when your parents do this. They do love you, but sometimes they dont want you to make the same mistakes they did. However if you are happy in your life and they are bringing you down try telling them this. If this does not work mabey you need some space away from them. hope this helps :)
2007-02-03 17:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by Cherry R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
screw them! if your living your life and enjoying it, dont heed ur mother and father! my dad moved from ireland to new york when he was 19, ofcoarse his parents were dissappointed til he got on his feet adn they realized he was happy. tell ur parents that if they keep it up ur going to have no relationship!! they miss you and clearly they want you to come home. but u onlly live once, baby! live for you, not for them!!
2007-02-03 17:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by micka5 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would stop all communication with them. They can't belittle you if they can't find you.
2007-02-03 17:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋