my sons mothers boy friend is very negative towards my son. He often has to sleep at the boy friends house on school nights . He threats to hit my son if he makes any mistakes . I have asked the boy friend to cal me if theres any problems and he still has threatnd my son anyways. I just want to do the wright thing,what is it?
2007-02-03 09:00:41 · 16 answers · asked by nick H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ofcourse that is NOT right....
He has no right at all to spank your son, even if your son made a mistake. Now talk to the mother & the bf. Let him know that you do not like it when he hurts your son...(duh) & any future abuse will force you to bring him to court.
2007-02-03 09:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by GerMel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to your son's mother and find out the following. 1. Why is your son not in his own bed but at the boy friends house. 2. What is going on that he feels the need to threaten to hit your son. 3. Where is your son's mother while this is going on. 4. Who gave this guy the authority of parenting your son. The right thing is to protect your child. If your son's mother can not be a parent then you might want to check into taking your son with you and giving her supervised visitation.
2007-02-07 08:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kid deserves a spanking that is one thing. But not all the time. (I personally don't like the idea, but some kids don't understand anything else) I think the responsibility of discipline should rest with your wife alone at this point though. Tell her you are NOT comfortable with him doing all the discipline, if any at all.
Not to be disrespectful, but, your son may be acting out because he resents the new man in mom's life. This is NOT unusual at all. Still, he doesn't deserve to be hit all the time. If it continues I would seek custody or have the boyfriend removed somehow. Call child welfare agency in your state and report it if she doesn't see reason or come to terms with this.
2007-02-03 09:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you must be certain that these accusations are true and accurate. If they are, please remember to proceed in a calm and rational manner as you have a serious heart-to-heart talk with your son's mother and her boyfriend telling them that this abuse of your child must cease and desist immediately. If this conversation does not change things, you should seek professional assistance because your son's physical and emotional welfare are at stake. Hopefully, the mother will consider what is in the best interest of your child and become the mom that he needs.
If the situation is approached in a calm and rational manner, the results should be positive and pleasing to everyone concerned.
I wish you well.
2007-02-03 10:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not just no ..But hell no!! I would tread lightly children sometimes have a tendency to play the middle . Your son knows you are his protector. Rightly so your son comes to you when he is scared or threatened . Make it clear to your childs mother that you and her are his parents and if it is such an issue that her current friend has such little patience that he threatens a child. That you will watch your son when they want to spend time together.
Get Up What Are You Waiting On!!
2007-02-03 09:19:23 · answer #5 · answered by mrlyndms 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there are alot of variables to consider in answering this question. Spanking often doesn't teach children to mind, it teaches them aggression and that older, stronger people can dominate younger, weaker people. Ideally, the boyfriend should be a part of your "extended" family which means decisions regarding discipline should made together and with everyone in agreement. If he is refusing to talk to you on the subject, I would say that is a bad sign.
2007-02-03 09:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My family is dealing with the EXACT same thing (my parents just recently divorced and I have many younger siblings). I told my father to report the guy for child abuse. It's not his kid and he has NO RIGHT to lay a finger on him.
Your ex-wife's boyfriend sounds like a complete abuser. Talk to Child Protective Services, talk to the police, talk to your child's teachers, principle, and school counselor. Talk to the lawyer who represented you in the divorce. Something will get done and needs to get done before your child ends up in the hospital because of this creep.
2007-02-03 09:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by CM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Children Family Services. He has no "right" to lay one finger on your child. It is illegal. Against the law. I would go back to court, file charges, etc. whatever I had to do to keep that guy away from my kid. I would probably inform him that if he ever so much as threatened to hit my child again, that would be the last time. And mean it. I'd be damned if I'd let someone else put their hands on my child. I'd probably go to jail over it. But, that's just me and that's the way that I roll.
2007-02-03 09:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should take your son away from your ex-wife and that man. If you really want to protect him, do what it takes to doing that. He has gone against your wishes already, don't let him do that to your son. Just can't believe that your ex-wife is allowing this.
Take your son from the situation, he has no right to spank him at all. Do the right thing!
2007-02-03 09:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he spanks him again... Then call the police for child abuse. A boyfriend does not have the right to discipline a child ( atleast in Washington State I know that to be a fact ). You may want to talk to the mother and let her know you are not O.K. with it and you will pursue it legally if it happens again.
2007-02-03 09:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋