i need family advice?

Question

my dad is in jail and i miss him my mom is seprated from him they were never married and he never calls ppl say how can i live with a dad that only cares about him self i say because hes still family anyways my question is i miss him my mom doesnt know and im not telling her but how do i get over missing him i have been singing songs i make up about him and cring

Answer 1

He's your dad. You're always gonna love him. Maybe visit him sometime?

Answer 2

He's your dad. Even if he is in jail and only cares about himself, he's still family and you have every right to love him. Your mom isn't part of him or his life, but it might help to talk to her about it. You don't just stop loving someone, especially a parent, nor should you. You're on the right track by writing songs. Try a journal or even letters to him. You don't have to mail them to the jail if you don't want to. Sometimes just physically writing it and then throwing it away (or keeping, whatever you want), really helps so you're not carrying that weight around with you. Don't let your tears make you think you're weak. They are a natural reaction to missing someone. Keep on writing and singing. Music is wonderful therapy. You'll get through this. It's harder to do it alone though. I really do recomend talking to your mom. Tell her you need her as a friend right now to listen and love and support, not to lecture and judge. Just keep pushing. Time will heal things, you just have to have faith.

Answer 3

First of all when you are incarcerated you may ONLY make collect calls. I don't know why this is, but it is so. 2nd thing is the calls are set up in such a way that it is VERY expensive to receive one from someone. Instead of like the normal rates for a collect call it costs like 5 times as much. Must have some kind of arrangement with the phone co. in jails. Your mom may not be able to afford it. She also probably thinks that you may be better off without his influence in your life. She is only looking out for your well being. 3rd. She is probably still bitter over whatever he did to her plus the fact that he is in jail. Do you know the WHOLE story behind his incarceration and do you know the whole TRUTH behind it too? She may have not shared all the details involved because of your age, etc. Some things are just too painful to keep hashing over and over too. try to understand her point also. You may contact him when you are older. I would discuss it with her. She may enlighten you to a few thigs. It could also be that he is ashamed of himself and HE feels you would be better off without him in your life. He may not know how YOU feel either. Give him a chance and talk to him when you can, even if it's a few yrs. from now.
WRITE him a letter and tell him how YOU feel and see what he has to say. Enclose paper and a stamped self addreseed envelope for him to reply to you.

Answer 4

I really am sorry to hear you feel this way. The fact your dad is in jail does not make things simple, and he also does not call you at all ...This does not mean that you are not worthy ... Maybe a professional counselor might help you to handle this ...

Answer 5

i grew up with out a father, he died when i was 1. i miss him as if i seen him last week,.. you shouldnt have to hide your feelings of your father...after all he is your dad, people make mistakes too and end up in jail ... i feel that writing makes me feel alot better just to get what im feeling out somehow...why dont you take some of that creativity and write him a letter, dont be afraid to express clearly how you feel...

Answer 6

hi there sweetheart i know its hard that you are missing youre dad but if you know what jail he is in then why do you not get in contact with him write him a letter ....you should talk to youre mum about this as she wqill notice that you are not that happy AT the moment ...take care xx

Answer 7

try to do that they both know that you miss him try to tell your mom mom when is my dad coming at what jail is him and things like those.

Answer 8

Well, we love our parents regardless of the mistakes they make. Just like parents love their children regardless of the mistakes they make. It's only natural. Maybe your mom may let you visit him or write or something? Asking her couldn't hurt.

Answer 9

well u could always send him a letter.just send it to the jail.your mom doesnt have to know.tell him how much u miss him and how much u care.if he cares about u he will send u one back.just put your name and address on the envelope.