Over-protective parents?

Question

My parents won't let me go out with my friends at night. All we do is go out, find somewhere quiet, (usually the playground of a school well away from all the problem areas of our town) and chat.
If anyone's ever seen the advert for the spot cream where the guy is starting a new school and says his face "exploded" into giant zits and says he can imagine what his saturday nights for the next 5 years will be like (sitting in front of the telly with his parents), that is exatly what mine are like. I'm insanely bored. I'm also starting to get excluded from stuff like going to the cinema/bowling because I'm seen as unsociable.
Is there ANYTHING i can say to my parents so they'll let me out or am I condemmed to a life of solitude and boredom????

i have a mobile phone.
every time i try to talk about it my mum just goes all irrational on me and screams about how i'll get mugged or arrested.

i'm sorry tewarienormy, but just how will reading books make me sociable???

o yeah most of the time there are about 10 of us so there are too many of us to go to someone's house

my mum is really stuck-up/posh and my dad was a loner so neither will never have gone out at night with friends

Answer 1

I guess it all just depends on how old you are.
But then if you really are just sitting in a playground chatting, then why cant your mates just come round to yours for example.
At least wouldnt be cold.

Then if your parents are cool with that for a couple of times, ten they will probably become more easy going.
And then you might get out more.

The typical parental line is while your under this roof, blah blah blah.
But the thing is, I guess one day you will move out, be that in ten years or in ten months. So they are going to have to let you grow up. Make them realise this. But it in a nice way.

one day it will be none of their buisness about what you do with your life, so try proving to them that you are responsible enough to deal with stuff in general.

My mum used to say to me, what I can do at two oclock in the morning I can do at two oclock in the afternoon.
She meant that if I was going to go and cause trouble, get high, meet bad angry boys, then I would do it with or without her. She always wanted me to talk to her, so she was quite relaxed and as a result I never hid anything. Even the bad stuff.

Ha! You probably didn't want my life story, but I am just saying that try to make your parents realise in a grown up kind of not shouting and screamin, slammign doors that they cant keeep you under raps forever.

Answer 2

Your parents love you and just want to protect you. A lot of parents are afraid of the unknown. The 21st Century is more dangerous then it use to be. Some of us are over protective at times. Talk to them and ask them why you can't hang with your friends,maybe it's where you want to hangout at that's the problem. Have them meet your friends if they haven't already done so. Ask what you can do to earn their trust. It may be an age thing. I'm a parent of two a son who I feel is old enough to hang out(but I still worry and he's almost 19) and a daughter who can sleepover with some friends,but not hangout. Try and come to a comprimise with them. You have to talk to them or it will always feel like they are against you. Sometimes you'll most times you'll lose. It's apart of growing up. You don't understand now, but one day if you have kids you will. When I was young I couldn't do sleepovers, even when I was a teen in highschool.Good luck!

Answer 3

My parents were like that. I was not allowed out with friends during the day either!! Unless they knew the friends parents and approved of my friends.
I ended up hiding new friends from my parents and definitely did not tell them when I had a boyfriend. I told lies to get out and meet my friends and my other friends ended up lying for me when I wanted to go out with a boyfriend.
I eventually moved out at 17 as I had had enough of the stuffy atmosphere!! I snapped when my parents told me to quit my job so I could study more and dump my boyfriend because they did not approve.

I think for you it is best to sit down with your parents and try to talk to them., tell them the way they are with you, is making you feel suffocated and trapped. Tell them you want them to trust you and you will not do anything stupid but you feel very isolated and secluded not being allowed to interact with your friends socially.

Come to an arrangement that you will be back by a certain time and always have a mobile with you so they can call you or you can call them should the need arise.

Hope it works out for you. I stood up to my parents and kept my job. My boyfriend at the time is still with me 8 yrs on. We are married now and have two wonderful children. My parents love him.
Give your parents time to take in the idea of letting you out. It is clear they love you and just want to protect you but they have to let you make mistakes at some point other wise you will learn vital lessons.

Answer 4

I'm really curious as to how old you are (which you've kept a secret here)

Your boredom is your responsibility, by the way.

Chose it or lose it.

Ask your parents if you can negotiate something about 'going out with your friends'?

If you made your friends aware of the limitations that your parents set on you, would that help you an? or do they know? Surely, if they really are 'friends,' then, would they 'exclude you for being unsociable' when they know its not your fault?

Is there not a teacher who you can talk this thing through with at school?

Anyway, best of luck with them (all, Friends & Parents)
Sash.

Answer 5

im sure your parents are trying to do their best for you, rathe rthan ruin your life. Parents hear in the media all the time about teens getting into drugs and all sorts trouble. Try to explain to them that you are growing into a young adult and you are ready for some responsibility. Agree a curfew with them, tell them where you are going and who you are with, and make sure you are back home at the agreed time. When they see that you are holding your part of the bargain and not getting into trouble, they should relax a bit and give you a bit more freedom.

Answer 6

Invite your friends over so the parents can get to know them better. Have YOUR parents drive you and your friends to wherever you want to go and pick you up after. This way they will know who you are riding with, where you are going, who with, etc. As trust builds and they get tired of being the chauffer it will ease up a bit.
Dwindle the friends down to a few at a time till your parents get to know them or most of them. Have a few different ones over every weekend or whenever you can. Don't have to travel in packs like wolves.

Answer 7

question for you do you think your friend parents have any control over them or they are those kids doing whatever and parent don't even know about because i can be sure if you tell your father that you going this weekend to the movies there with yours friend and ask if him can drop you off and then pick you up i sure he will. i do not want to see my kids just walking around,i means you want to watch a basketball game or anything specific then you can go out with your friend otherwise not,this is probably your father rule you are not alone i do the same thing with my.
he just try to avoid you to get into problem because hanging around you just find problem believe me i know everything that happen when you and group of kids alone you probably don't do anything wrong but your friend next to who don't care about can involved you in just one second.

Answer 8

Have you talked this over with them and let them know how you feel? Have they given you their reasons for not wanting you out at night? Given the reasons they have, are they logical/rational? Is there a compromise here? Perhaps you could have a cell phone and could contact them while out so they know where you are. Could you arrange a curfew that is acceptable to both of you?

Answer 9

Well.. I would let my parents know how much of a pain in the backside they are! Dude.. That totally sucks. I can;t believe how UNFAIR they are being. Tell them that yopur life is going to completely end if you don;t go out with your friends.

Every night, I;d give them a different excuse!
Such as:
"If I don't go out tonight, my friends going to get shot!"
"I feel a calling inside of me, it says "GO OUT AND EMBRACE YOUR FRIENDS!""

Answer 10

Your best bet is to bring your friends over to your house so your parents can get to know them. They're are probably just thinking about things they did when they were kids and don't want you to get into trouble, unless you have done something to lose their trust, if so you have to regain their trust.