I need advice. I was dating a guy for about a month. We really connected and it seemed like we were ready to have sex. Then we did, it was a disaster. I don't have a lot of sexual experience, while he had a lot. He says we're not sexually compatible and that we should break up. I am devastated. It was our first night together and I thought that one bad night didn't mean it would be our last. What should I do?
2007-02-03 07:52:53 · 18 answers · asked by Vivien 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel for you, it will be a bad experience for you to deal with. but don't feel sorry, it's not you. some guys are very happy to be the sex pert, cause that will be the most memorable experience for both. in this case, that's his lost, not you. you will find better guy next time who will love, care, feel, wanted to be with you more than anybody else. some guys wanted to be the expert in their sex relationship so they can teach, explore and bond together without denying his partner's all the glory and satisfaction. the guy that hurt you is not the right one. he is not compassionate and probably he is upset cause he did not understand and do not have the patience. im guessing he is expecting you to be aggressive and do something for him. the guy you need is someone who will wait, take time and willing to teach and learn from you. its not that he is well experience makes him the best, it don't work that way. plus sex is not the main part of relationship, its what, how and when you feel its time to open up.
take your time but it will be better when you find the right one.
2007-02-03 08:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by salome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that waiting longer and having a stronger relationship before having sex would have help. Most people won't want to work on making things better with someone they don't have much of a connection to. Don't let it hurt your self confidence. It takes time to get to know what each other likes, to get past nerves and to be yourself. I am sure it hurts, but try to keep in mind that you and this guy may not have been emotionally compatible because he seems pretty immature.
2007-02-03 08:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by SG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is no reason to break up. First of all it dosnt matter if the sex is not good because it will get better. I mean come on it was your first time what did he expect. It could be that he is just not good in bed. Im sorry to say there is nothing you can do if he breaks up with you but you should talk to him about it first. Im sorry but this just pisses me off what an ASSHOLE. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-02-03 15:09:42 · answer #3 · answered by gotansas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously just trying to make you feel bad about yourself. In my book this makes him not a very nice person; don't assume there's any truth in what he says. Don't even argue the point with him, or offer to try harder to be better in bed. I know you may be too deep in the situation to see it for what it is, but read your question as if your best friend/sister had posed it, and I'm sure you'd realise that you'd advise the same thing. You should be grateful he's out of your hair. Every ounce of energy you waste with this guy or even thinking about him is one less ounce of energy you have for finding someone who isn't an insecure jerk
2007-02-03 08:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by beatrice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time give it 3 months. The big mistake there is that there wasn't much infrastructure in the relationship for it to survive such a blow. If you knew each other much longer, you could have developed more of a relationship with each other and it would had been a different story. He would had been more understanding if he really grew to care about you.
2007-02-03 07:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by s_p_u_d_n_i_k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he leaves you for a first time fooly he is a fool.You need time to get to know each others sexual likes and turn ons.Some people really need to work at it with thier partners.Not everyone clicks at first but time has a way of fixing things in life.
2007-02-03 08:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really bad reason. Especially in your situation, he shouldn't dump you just because of that. If he does, then I get the feeling that he was only in the relationship for sex in the first place.
2007-02-03 07:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. I don't think it come be so bad. Sexual encounters can you taught and learned. But you personally could not be bad. it is all about what each person likes. He probably was not the right person for you, if that was his only reason. Don't worry about it. YOu'll find somebody else.
2007-02-03 08:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well look he is evidently to immature to realize his fortune. you are willing to be anything he wants and he so easily wants to throw it to the curb. so easily?what are you kidding me?you have to have much much more self esteem than that. the first night sex syndrome sux.not every partner is on the same expertise level for lack of better terms .tell him how you feel you have to be honest with him and yourself. cause you have done nothing wrong GET OFF YOUR CASE!!!!!!after you tell him how you feel move on it might hurt for a short time but he will be the one losing not you .kick him to the curb first you are bigger than this .you can do it. good luck you will be fine.
2007-02-03 08:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by JAYHAWKER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new partner, able to realize and understand your lack of experience and who will be patient enough and excited to open your mind towards the delights of sex beyond the boundaries of your temporarily limited imagination.
2007-02-03 07:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋