i want some super jokes with blondes...?

Answer 1

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "No... it's because you're 25."
or
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."

"Shut up," she says. "You’re next''

I have alot of blonde friends dont get offended anybody

Answer 2

What do you do when a blond don't speak the whole evening? Pull the tampon from her mouth.

What is the resemble between a blond and the Internet backbone? You don't know what you got till it's goes down.

What is a blond in a library?
Lost!

Three blonds stand by the river, they want to cross over.
A spirit raised out of the water and says:"All three of you can make a wish, and then you can cross. The first blond says: I want to be a brunette". She turns brunette and swims across the other side.
The second blond says:"I want black hair." She's get black hair, builds a boat and crossed the river.
The third blond says:"i want to be a man". She turns into a man and takes the bridge 100 m to the left to cross over.

Answer 3

Try Kelly's Bar Blonde Jokes

http://www.kellys.com/funframe2.html

Answer 4

Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"



Rowing Your Boat
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."



You've got mail
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."


LOL if you want more jokes just email me at [e-mail] ok?

Answer 5

1. a blonde was spending the night at a brunets house because it was poring rain and the brunet didnt want her to go home in the rain. the brunet went to make popcorn and when she came back the blonde was gone, then the blonde came in all wet. "where did you go?" aksed the brunet. "i went home to getmy pajamas" said the blonde.

2. this blonde,brunet, and red head were stealing a farm,the farmer was coming and the redheard yelled "quick jump in the sack and act like an animal" the brunet jumped in the sack and went "woof woof", the red head jumped in the sack and went "moo moo", and the blonde jumped in the sack and went "potatoe potatoe"

3.a blonde,redhead,and a brunet went to see if they could last 3 days in the desert they each could bring only 1 thing, the brunet brought food, the red head brought water, and the blonde brought a car door... the red head asked the brunet "why did you bring food?" "because if we get hungry we can eat. why did you bring water?" said the brunet "because if we get thisty we can drink" said the red head.. "why did you bring a car door?" the redhead and the brunet asked the blonde together "because if we get hot i can roll down the window" said the blonde

Answer 6

There was a brown hair girl stand at one side of the river, and she wanted to get to the other side so she asked the blond girl how do I get to the other side. The blond said nothing.
so the girl asked again. No reply. So the girl asked a bit loud no reply. The girl through maybe there is a bridge. couldn't find one so she asked again. How do I get to the other side.
The blond answer You're on the other side.

Answer 7

i don't mean to offend anyone:

A blonde is in a car with a friend. The friend is driving. The friend sees a cop car behind them but has to focus on the road and she needs to know if they should stop. So she asks her blonde friend "Hey are the lights flashing?"
She answers "Yes...no...yes...no...yes...no"

Answer 8

Q:how do u kill a blonde?

A:put a scratch n sniff at the bottom of a pool

Answer 9

1. A blonde decides to try horseback riding,even though she has had no lessons or prior experence. She mounts the horse,unassisted,and the horse immeidately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady,rhythmic pace,but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,she grabs for the horses maine,but cannot maintain a firm grip.She tries to grab for the horses neck,but she slides down the side of the horse,anyway.The horse gallops along,seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally,giving up her frail grip,the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortuately,her foot has became entangled in the stirrup,she is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head batters against the ground,she is meer moments away from unconsciousness,when to her great fortune....................Bill,the Wal-mart greeter,sees her and unplugs the horse.

2. A blondes husband bought her a cell phone for her birthday,and he told her to go shopping,and that he'd call her on her new phone later. The blonde went shopping,and her new phone started ringing,so she answered it. It was her husband.They talked awile,and at the end of their conversation,the blonde said," Well honey,this phone works fine,but how did you know I was at Wal-Mart??"

Answer 10

A beautiful blonde lady stepped onto a plane going to L.A. and sat down in first class. The flight attendant proceeded to go around the airplane checking the ticket stubs of each passenger to make sure they were all in the right seats. When she got to the Blonde woman she noticed that it was for Coach seating, not first class. She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. I'm going to have to ask you to move." To which the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Confused, the stewardess gets her supervisor. Again, she tells the woman that she must move. Again, the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Also confused, they go get the captain. He tells the woman that she must move. The blonde starts to say, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful..." when he interrupts and asks, "Can I whisper something in your ear?" "Sure" she replies and he proceeds to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly she gets up and goes back to coach seating with a look of surprise on her face. The flight attendants are startled. "How did you get her to move?" "I told her that first class wasn't going to L.A."

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There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says "Well then I'll go at night."
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A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics.
"So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying "Ehhhh ..22!".
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.

"And can you tell us your height, please?".
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!".
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Mandy!".

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?"

"Ohh that!", replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' "
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A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it."

"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, "PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE," so I had to fly Alaska."
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A blonde hurried into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?," the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor? "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
the tip of your finger?"

"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First, I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these; I'm not shooting myself in the
chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get
my teeth straightened; I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So, then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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