How do you deal with grief of a family member who has been brutally murdered?

Question

If it had been a car accident or something like that , I think I could understand and deal with it easier, but I don't know how to deal with this kind of shock.

Answer 1

i'm so so sorry. i'm actually in tears right now. i think everyone said everything already...punch some punching bags, take as long as you need to being angry. support groups can help, really they do. cry, write, talk, pray, anything to get out the anger and grief will help. i will pray for your family and for your own healing.
(((((HUGS)))))

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss.It would be easier if I knew more about you,but I will try to help.Quite a few years ago some little children were brutally murdered in our neighborhood.I prayed and cried for days,then I read what heaven is in a book and the Bible.All tears will be wiped away,there will be no more suffering,no more grieving and all the bad memories will be no more.If your loved one is in heaven then they will only know the glory and happiness there and won't have carried all the bad stuff with them.I know it must seem like a nightmare to you.and I'm so sorry sweety,but I hope you can get some kind of comfort from this.

Answer 3

This has got to be one of the toughest things anyone can experience. I imagine that the anger at the evil impulses that caused another person to take your family member from you - to cause your relative such suffering -- that anger must be overwhelming.

If you knew the murderer, and they were a trusted person, that you also feel betrayed.

You must deal with this anger. Don't stuff it under pious forgiveness that comes too early -- be angry as long and as hard as you need to be in order to work it out of your system. Go to the gym and punch the bags -- do something physical to work it out of your heart and mind. It will be exhausting... but it is the first step.

After that, you will be sad. Sadness is overcome by doing things that help you heal your heart -- ceremonies, telling stories, gestures of kindness to other people (maybe somebody that your loved one once cared for -- or caring for their pet)

For about two years, every holiday, birthday, favorite tradition (did you go to the blessing of the bikes together) will remind you that they are gone, and you will feel all of the grief again... make sure you are surrounded by people who can help you through these difficult days.

If you feel yourself on a lonely spiral and feeling like you can't go on, get help... you may need some treatment.

Answer 4

I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. That is something that NO ONE should have to go through. I never have, but as with any traumatic situation, it REALLY helps to talk. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with talking to a therapist about this. They can help you deal with everything from greif, guilt, pain, anger, everything that is associated with such an traumatic experience.

Also, writing down your feelings really helps. It makes you think and feel things that you otherwise would have pushed aside. It really brings out your TRUE feelings. Maybe writing letters TO the person you lost will help as well. With most deaths, there is some sort of guilt associated, for whatever reason. Anything from fighing with them the last time you saw them or not telling you loved them, these are so hard to deal with after the fact, but are in reality just facts of life. It helps to get these feelings recognized and that will help you de-stress, as well.
I wish you the best in the future, and again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

You could not understand even if it were a car accident. Death of a loved one is terrible. I lost my dad a couple months ago.. I think I will grieve forever, no matter how he died. I am learning though that there is no easy way to grieve. I think we just have to learn to live with the sadness because it will never go away. When you lose someone you love very much, it will never go away. My dad suffered terribly, and ya know what? Even if he would have died peacefully in his sleep, it would not have made a bit of difference to me. Well, I guess I really cannot answer this question because I am still trying to deal with my grief as well.. sorry

Answer 6

The saddest part of it truly is this develop into throughout a automobile parking area. Now I even ought to vomit because only even as i imagine human beings have somewhat, teeny ounce of decency to modify for the further perfect, they turn round and have interaction in some filthy nonsense that makes you detest humanity all once extra. So is the lady and her 2 violent kinfolk who beat this guy to his lack of existence, going to get some type of punishment? Or will human beings pat them on the lower back and snicker about it for months to go back? till they locate the subsequent male sufferer to crack jokes about. What i do not comprehend is why this lady felt the pick to bounce in an already unjust strive against. The sufferer develop into already outnumbered through 2 to at least a million. i wager the punches and kicks aimed in the route of the guy weren't adequate for her. i wish the lady's husband is happy with his spouse. If she is able to doing this to a stranger, God is popular with the wear and tear she will be in a position of do to a guy she has loved and depended on. (If or maybe as the project arrives that she does experience she is wronged through her husband.) They deserve one yet another in case you inquire from me. Edit: Fred is a despicable excuse for a man or woman.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry. Let me tell you that everyone grieves in his or her own way. There's no set time, or way to go about it. Right off I'd like to know if you have Hospice Volunteers in your area? They are excellant, I've taken the training. They are there even after the death of your loved one. I highly suggest that you call them. I also suggest that you cry. Cry. Yell. Scream. Lie down with a piece of clothing or stuffed animal of your loved one's; hold it and cry. Hopefully the police have caught the suspect- that can be extra hard when you know he's out there. And like I said about grieving- don't let ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!! tell you that you need to pull yourself together, or you need to get on with your life. That's all wrong. You are the one who has to heal. It does get a little easier with time, but yours was a great loss, so it may take longer. And- please know that this family member is with you. They are right there with you. You may smell their cologne, or feel them sit on the edge of your bed. Sylvia Browne says that Heaven is only 3 ft. away from us, and 3 ft. above. I'll keep you in my thoughts, and I send my heart to you. Please make that call. Thank you.

Answer 8

Basically just be with the person but you don't want to be so pushy. Sometimes they want to be alone. It's always good to be there for support as a friend and a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 9

The best thing here is a support group. This doesn't just work itself out, you have to give it time and lots of support.