My boyfriend was seeing a girl quite some time ago now and they are apparently still friends. When I asked how he felt about her he said it was more of a sexual thing than a meaningful relationship, but when accessing the computer to retrieve so documents i'd stored on there i found old love songs he'd written about her, these were continuing for after 8 months of their breakup and he said he was over her almost straight away, why did he lie? I found these songs disgusting as they were about what he wanted to do to her! I got quite upset when there was a particular one stating how upset he was that she only wanted to stay friends.
2007-02-03 07:05:47 · 13 answers · asked by Angie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Probably because it hurts to know that it's over between him and his ex. Just accept the fact that he didn't want to go into detail about it and it wasn't really any of your business how he feels about her anyway. As long as those feelings aren't interfering with your relationship, why should you care. All you're going to do by this is build up a paranoia and chase him off.
I'd suggest confronting him about the lie, accepting his apology and moving on. Bringing up his old feelings about his old flame could rekindle that spark and he may go chasing after her again.
2007-02-03 07:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by Athena 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he still cares for her deeply.
I have no idea why men lie about things like their exes. I have wondered this many times.
Some say it's because he knows it will hurt you and doesn't want to make you upset. Others say it's because he doesn't care and that you are basically just the rebound girl and if his ex were to come back to him, he'd leave you.
Try not to get too attached. Wait until he makes a serious commitment to you. Even ask him about what you found. Make sure you say you weren't snooping, you just randomly found the songs. Tell him you feel wronged because he's been lying to you for so long and you wish he could just be honest.
It all depends on how long you two have been together though. If it's only been a couple months, then get over it and dump him. If it's closer to the 10 month mark, you have a huge right to be upset.
I think you should start looking for a new BF
2007-02-03 07:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by RitzFitz29 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well most likely he didnt want to hurt you. And it does sound more of a sexual thing than a meaningful relationship to me, i mean the songs were about what he wanted to do to her not how much he loved her and he was probably upset about the breakup because he (like all guys) love sex. My first thought was for you to ask him about it, because you should never keep anything away from your "partner" if its bothering you, but he probably will be upset about how you found the songs. At one point he probably really like her, but things change and now he has chosen to be with you. I hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-02-03 07:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by gotansas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going to variety of comprehend her being disillusioned once you jokingly requested for her password only because in case you already do not trust her totally then she probable felt like you've been extremely accusing her. No i in my opinion do not imagine it really is a boyfriend. There are such issues as summer season flings. I each and every from time to time communicate over with my ex from 6 years in the past about countless the relaxing issues we did because we are acquaintances and maximum acquaintances communicate about the sturdy cases. My boyfriend is popular with our historic past and has no difficulty with it. So i'm no longer particular how i trust about the e-mail. in case you experience like you may't trust her or you're having a tricky time then chop up. i do not imagine you may extremely love someone if there is not any trust.
2016-11-24 21:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will have u told him u fround the songs?
he prob is scared dat u will leve him or somethin.Also he might think if he told u the truth u wouldn't want him to see her as a friend anymore.And remember he didn't want to let her go as a girlfriend so he would be even more hurt to not have her as a friend.So if i was u i would sit him down and have a long talk and don't get upset b/c then he will therefore u want get anything out of him.So just have a talk.
GOOOD LUCK
GOD BLESS:)
2007-02-03 07:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by LadyBoss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is on the rebound, and looking for something to replace what he was getting from his "soul mate." wait til he grows up and forgets the other love of his life. Then see if he still cares for you. In the meantime, see how serious he is about you by making sure that your relationship is purely platonic.
2007-02-03 07:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by The Cythian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wrote them before you guys were together then it's really none of your business.Don't obsess over it.Haven't you ever still had feelings even after you've broken up with someone or they broke up with you.He really doesn't need to talk about his ex with you at all and is just lying to not hurt your feelings because he knew it would.Everyone does that.As long as all this was before you guys,then forget about it.
2007-02-03 07:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by J♥R♥R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could he have told you the truth? If he said "I loved her like crazy and her body drove me insane with lust and desire" you'd get angry. So he down played it to make you feel more secure. Anything other than "meaningless sex" would have made you mad.
2007-02-03 07:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to help you out, but before I can answer, I need to ask you a question. You say the songs were about what he wanted to do to her. Was it more "I want to chop you into bits and store you in my walk-in freezer" or more "I want to buttsex you"?
2007-02-03 07:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by Iam t 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, that's why he lied to you about his feelings. You got pissed. Well, he's also trying to downplay the importance to that girl to you for the same reason. It's not important enough for it to cause him misery with you.
Talk to him and find out for yourself.
2007-02-03 07:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by s_p_u_d_n_i_k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋