I've been with my boyfriend for just about 7 years, and we've lived together for 5 years of that time. I moved in with him when I was 17. We now own a home together, at age 23.
We've been here for a year, and I've been really bummed out most of the time. We have a great relationship, but I'm stuck with this "thats it?" feeling. I feel like I missed out on a lot of "growing up" and I have this strong desire to get my own apartment or something.
The problem is, I don't want to end this relationship. I feel like I just need some independance. I want to know what it's like to live on my own, and not have to answer to anyone.
But I feel so guilty! Like instead of moving forward, I'm going backwards. Especially after we bought a place together.
I just can't help to feel envious of all my friends who are out living on their own, or living with a friend.
Any suggestions/advice??
2007-02-03 06:03:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not ready for a relationship. Dump him, move out, and move on. You are moving backwards, and it's not a good sign. Your problem is that you got involved at an age when you should have been exploring the globe and dating lots of men so you wouldn't feel the way you are feeling right now when you are ready to settle down. You may have missed the best years of your life. Don't waste any more of it. You will know when you are ready to be with someone again.
2007-02-03 06:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if you can sell the house. or he can always find roommates. You can do some work on it if need be either inside or outside to make it worth more. It would be good to move in with a friend then you wouldn't have to be tied into a lease and then you can move back with him if you ever want to. You can still have independence and freedom even if you are in a relationship. And it doesn't necessarily mean you are moving backwards either. You aren't married. So don't feel so much guilt over it. What things do you feel you've missed out on of "growing up"? Is it that you didn't have any flings or one night stands or partying like most young people do?? Maybe he is ready for marriage and you're not and it puts pressure on you and you want to get out of living with him to take a breather. Do what you want. It's your life and you are an adult. Don't let anyone pull you down even the man that you love. If he can't let you make your own decisions then he doesn't have what it takes. I just got my own place and I kind of like it. But things for me and my boyfriend are pretty much the same.
2007-02-03 06:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how you are feeling. He will be hurt and probably surprised but he should know. It sounds like you haven't had the chance to be truly on your own and feel like you need to do that in order to feel content in your relationship. Maybe your boyfriend isn't the one for you. Either way, you should move out on your own and sort things out. If you don't, you will be unhappy. This feeling will not go away.
Good luck to you. You're too young to be feeling trapped.
2007-02-03 06:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are jealous of your friends because you missed out on that part of your life- the wild and crazy stupid life that most people have a chance to have.
You can still have that, with your boyfriend. It sounds like you two need something to "spice up" your relationship.
2007-02-03 06:07:45 · answer #4 · answered by BetsyLauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋