When we're out together he always holds my hands and it's fine with me. But then he would pull me closer and try to kiss me in front of people like when we're waiting in the line or something like that. It's not that I don't want him to kiss me but I just get embarrassed when he does it in public. What should I do?
2007-02-03 05:34:12 · 17 answers · asked by Coco 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no. it's not weird at all. m like that. i don't french kiss in public. you do that in private. although i hug, hold hands, peck on the lips (no tounges), romantic caresses. you're not weird. he should respect you. one of top 5 rules in long term relationship or just plain relationship.
you should tell him how you feel. that you're not comfortable. it might take time for you to get used to public display of affection, but if you're uncomfortable right now, tell him and he should try to understand how you feel.
i was like that with my husband when we were boyfriend/girlfriend until the first couple of years of marriage. But i began to understand that that is just how he is. affectionate no matter where he is. but i still don't like french kiss in public or making out in public. that should be done in private.
if he is trying to be affectionate with you in public, i think it's okay. but it will take a long time for you to adjust. maybe you may not adjust at all. he is like that maybe because his family is close, and they show and tell each other that they love each other. you might have come from a family totally different from his. i dunno.
i come from a family that are very strict and don't show affection, except in writing, like christmas card, valentines day card, mother's/father's days, birthday cards. we weren't big on saying "i love you" every day. kinda like a military set up. that's why i am not into public display of affection. i told my husband, boyfriend then. he understood me, and adjusted for me. in time i adjusted for him. But still no making out in public. He would do the same as your boyfriend does. pull me closer and kiss me. (again just a peck on the lips (no tongues)). now i think it's just romantic when he does that....sigh....
hope you 're relationship be strong...
2007-02-03 06:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by formula350 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is your first red flag, however slight. I'd say just go with it cautiously, but since that is possessive behavior don't commit to anything long term until you've known him for longer. Just considering the fact that your mother was in an abusive relationship you may be prone to giving too much understanding and empathy to a man, leading you into a similarly abusive situation. I'm not saying putting his arm around you or holding hands is necessarily weird, but if you feel a bit uncomfortable about it he needs to know and respect that. There is this thing, it's called healthy boundaries. An abuser might not show his "true colors" until you are living together or are married, so any little oddities are worth closer inspection, or you holding back some of your trust until you know him better and can KNOW that he deserves your trust. Five months is not a long time.
2016-03-29 03:10:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not weird, you may feel that he is using this display of affection to 'prove' that you are his 'property'. He needs to respect your wishes of wanting to keep certain types of affection in private areas, but if you truly love and care for him you can make a compromise of certain affections that you will allow to be done openly such as hugging or holding hands. You do have to communicate this to your boyfriend or he will not understand that it isnt him just who you are, if you are not communicating this he may be feeling as if you are ashamed to be with him and do not want others to see that the two of you are together and care for each other on a deeper level.
2007-02-03 05:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you're not comfortable with it and that it's not that you don't care for him.
You're not weird. My boyfriend is the same way. It doesn't matter to me because when we're alone there is plenty of affection!
2007-02-03 06:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by DEENIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not weird at all. Just tell him that you love it when he holds your hand in public, but you are uncomfortable being kissed in public, & you would prefer that he not do it. If he respects you, he'll stop. If he doesn't stop, well, actions speak volumes, don't they?
2007-02-03 05:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he is your sweatheart, but public displays of affection makes you uncomfortable. Let him know what you feel OK with and what makes you all weirded out. I would think that he would want you to be comfortable.
2007-02-03 05:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by Elisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
More than a light kiss in public is a sign of insecurities in my opinion.
Whatever makes you uncomfortable should be honored by someone who is supposed to care for you.
Tell him if he really cared he would take your feeling into consideration.
2007-02-03 05:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you are not ready to do that in public and then tell you would like to wait for the muuch more attention approach when the 2 of you are alone and not out in the public for now
2007-02-03 05:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by harold g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just dont like those kind of things. (PDA's) and that is ok. Be affectionate when you are in private, but tell him to keep things to a minimum when you are in public and you will make it up to him when you are alone.
2007-02-03 05:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh geez, just give him a quick kiss. Just don't do the long French kiss. You don't need to be embarrassed....you'll never see those people again.
Lighten up and have fun.
2007-02-03 05:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋