one of my guy friends sent me this as an offline message?

Question

is there anything i can send him about guyz that will get back at him!?! plzz help me out...it has to be true but funny!! thanx for all tha help !!!


this is wat he sent me.......

Why are women like computers..?????.......1... coz theyr useless untill u turn them on..2 they have lots off data but still are clueless....3 as soon as u pick 1 ders a better model in da market...

Answer 1

Your friend is obviously a jerk and has no respect for anyone regardless of if they are male or female. If my friend sent me that he would offend me as well as every lady I have ever known, starting with my Mom and so on. The poor guy is not going to have a good relationship with anyone and be a lonely guy if he keeps this up.

Answer 2

try this...

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 ...and noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In
addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as MLB 5.0, NFL 4.3, PGA 3.0, and NBA 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no
longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

______________________________...
REPLY FROM TECH SUPPORT

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME.EXE
to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. BUT remember, overuse of the
above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support


although its long... its still enjoyable...

Answer 3

i imagine that you ought to easily not deliver him any better messages for a lengthy time period. If he's in touch, he will contact you, or you may contact him in a week or 2. It style of appears like he ought to have something else occurring immediately. he will word once you at the instantaneous are not sending him messages...then see what takes position. best needs

Answer 4

I don't know if this is really what your looking for, but it's true and funny nevertheless:

A Women's Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man ,who's not a creep;
One who's handsome,smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, and not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to know end,
And always be my very best friend.

Mans Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge B_ _ bs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This don't rhyme and I don' give a S_ _t!

If you are trying to burn him back, just tell him it's advice you thought he might need. {Especially if he thinks there's nothing wrong with the poem!! LOL}

Answer 5

I am not impress,this is very trashy.I feel sorry for your guy friend's mentality,he is giving a signal>>>> I am trash ,,and I am trashing women to make me feel better for being a low life. I am giving a thumbs down for him.If he sent this message to me I will definetely ignore him.

Answer 6

The Why's of Men..

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO
FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON
THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their
butt-hole and they vapor lock)

You're laughing, aren't you?

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS
THAN DOGS?
so they won't hump women's legs at
cocktail parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make
a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A
TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know .... it never happened)

C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde
jokes!

And my personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

if u want more of this..just ask me, i got loads of 'em..:D Good Luck!

Answer 7

that is mean u should send him this

why r men like cabbage?
1) they go bad right after u get them
2) they have terrible or no taste
3) if u do not get the good ones u end up unhappy in the end

Answer 8

I second Brown Libuse is an idiot with no sense of humour. Hell funny joke

Answer 9

Just call him a prick and spread a rumour that he's got a pecker

and still it's the truth

Answer 10

ROFL @ vuezta's joke
10/10 for him