Parents are upset I'm not baptizing my baby. Suggestions?

Question

Please note the following question may contain sensitive religious material; please keep your response to yourself if you're just going to preach! Thanks
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My husband and I are both atheist; however, both of our sets of parents are Catholic. Obviously, since neither of us have any sort of religious beliefs, we didn't even consider baptizing our 6-month-old son. To our devout Hispanic Catholic parents, in their eyes, we have already condemned ourselves to hell and by not baptizing our baby, we are sending him to hell, too. Every time we visit both families, we receive flak for not having a baptism yet. We both have the belief that religion is a personal choice, and if our son chooses to follow a certain faith, he should discover it and embrace it on his own, not be forced into it from infanthood like my husband and I were. How can we help show our parents that our parenting decision is going to stick? We don't care that they think it's wrong--we just don't want to hear about it.

Answer 1

I would mention to your parents and in-laws that Pope Benedict XVI officially changed the Catholic Stance on "limbo" and unbaptized babies. I've attached an article so you can read it and discuss with the grandparents. I'm not a Catholic but my husband is and we baptized our son. However, I felt like I was forced into it. I am a Christian, but I really don't think a baptized baby means anything-it's just an antiquated tradition. Nowhere in the Bible does it command us to be baptized. As far as you dealing with your parents and in-laws, now would be a good time to establish boundaries with both of them. Just tell them that, while you appreciate their concern, YOUR child will be raised by you and your husband. You can instill good morals and ethics without being religious or even a Christian. I predict this is going to be one of many battles with them unless you lay down the law...good luck!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,13509-2387589,00.html

Answer 2

My wife and I don't have kids yet, but we are in the exact same place as you and your husband. We are atheists, and both of our families are catholic, and my wife's family is hispanic. We also share your views on baptism. Like I said, we don't have kids yet, but the subject has been mentioned and I already know that my mother is going to have a huge problem when I refuse to have my child baptised.

I've started prepping her in advance, whenever the subject comes up in conversation. I'll also have a serious sit down with my parents when the time comes, and it's going to be spelled out explicitly. I think most people would rather preserve a good relationship with with their kids so they can see their grandchildren, so hopefully a heartfelt sit down will work. Good luck with your situation, I'm pulling for you!

Answer 3

You will hear about it as they feel very strong about it.

The only way to make it stick is that you keep saying no and explaing that your child will embrace religion path on his own.

What you can do is explain to them that it is disrespectful to continue the conversation and that you will leave if the conversation stops. If they continue, leave. Eventually they will figure out the nagging will push you two and the grandson away.

Explain when your child older, he will decide if he wants to be baptized or not.

I am a Christian and don't need to be baptized to know I am a believer in God. My mom wanted me to choose my own path. my mom was baptized Catholic and as an adult, she isn't a Catholic, but a Christian.

My fiance is leaning towards athiest (believes there is higher power, but...not sure about the whole Christianity thing) and he is fine and supportive in either way when our children decide.

Answer 4

I was never baptized and I never got that impression from anyone. Just distance yourself. They can't force the baptizism on your child--and if they do, I advise that you revoke their guardianship, etc. if they're going to run off with your child like that.
Just tell them you want your child to choose his/her own religion when he/she is ready. There is nothing wrong with your parenting whatsoever. When your child is old enough, give him/her that option. Simply let the child decide! I haven't decided yet, but it doesn't mean I won't ever be baptized in my life. By the way, you've got some major in-law issues (i'm sure you don't need me to tell you that, lol)

Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

As a Christian, I don't believe in infant baptisim, I think it should be a conscious choice of a believer when they're old enough to understand what it means. So we're kind of in agreement in that respect. But regardless of what I believe, or what you believe, or what your parents believe-- YOU are that child's parents. YOU make decisions for your child. If your parents will not respect that, you may have to issue an ultimatum and threaten to not see them anymore if they will not leave this alone. BUT, I feel if it comes to that you must do it in a respectful way, and let them know that the door is always open to reconnect as long as they are willing to respect your choices for your children.

Answer 6

"Mom, Dad, we love you and respect you. We appreciate that you are concerned for us and for our son. This is a decision that we have made as parents and we would appreciate it if you would respect our decision. We would like this topic to be off limits from now on as it causes everyone too much stress and upset. If anything happens to change our minds, you'll be the first to know."

Answer 7

i am a christan and im not going to deney it .
but i totally understand, okay here we go it is your kid, not your parents so you have to do what you want .
you dont have to baptise your kid if you dont want to .
Tell them that your not going to baptise your kid and thats that.
if he wants to be baptised when he gets older that is his decison but right now we have made the decision not to get him baptised.
Also we are not going to tell him to believe the same we are believeing and he is not going to go to hell..

Answer 8

you are totally right. he should be allowed to make his own choices when he is old enough. stand fast to your beliefs

Answer 9

it is your baby and your decision.tell your family that. if they keep on persisting, i would just distance myself.